Working With a "Second"

A few thoughts...about working with "seconds" - number two leaders: - choose seconds to start with who share the same vision and values - share your big dreams and ideas with him/her and ask them how to see dreams happen, ask for advise for next steps, then don't pull sudden changes once you've done that - "blow a steady note on the trumpet of vision" - stay steady and stable... no sudden outbursts or radical shifts; to do that damages trust - you lean into their strengths - take the "strength finders" test together - with your wives...very important to hear objectively what each others strengths are, gives you common language to talk about yourselves - you ask for their help in how to work as a team - what would they like as a team? what are their dreams for a team? - commit to serve their growth to the next level - ask and find out how to serve them, on their terms not yours - honor them publicly - acknowledge your weaknesses - you don't do all the talking - don't use anger to get your way - don't attack them or put them down when they hurt you or let you down - they're not perfect - "fellowship" your problems, i.e., have a cup of coffee weekly to chat things through. that also prevents problems happening - pursue him/her when there is conflict: don't bury it and move on, don't withdraw - don't use "blame" as a coping tactic when you are frustrated with their weaknesses - don't spiritualize conflicts on the team: learn good, honest communication skills but don't blame the devil - talk about what he/she can do to appeal to a higher authority if you sin and don't repent - celebrate victories together!