God Shines Through The Mist

Floyd had lots of smiles for me this week, but the best thing was that he was so peaceful.  No distress at all.  The previous week he was so very miserable.  I played some encouraging testimonies for him, and then prayed with him - thanking the Lord for His goodness to us.

I’m so grateful for the prayers of many around the world, and the Lord’s answers… I have had an encouraging appointment with my doctor this week for my kidney.  After having been advised that I would probably need surgery, I'm so relieved that that is not the case!

When going through a trial or a time of suffering, it's very normal to have "good" days and to have "hard/not-so-good" days.  I think we expect it to be one or the other, but it's usually a combination of the two......and it shouldn't be a surprise to us that that's the case.

I'd love it to be all good days - or at least fairly good days.  When I have a good day, I want it to last and keep going.  I don't want the hard days to return.  At the very least, I wish I could plan for when they will each come.  But they are utterly unpredictable.  There's often no rhyme or reason to the one or the other.

The important thing to remember - the thing that helps me keep my equilibrium through the swinging back and forth - is that God doesn't change even though my days do.  He is solid, steady, safe, secure, unchanging, unmoving, always there, firm, and always available.  He is my anchor.  He is my sure foundation.  He is my Rock.

On the long unexpected journey I've been on, I've learned to recognize some of the "triggers" (both physically and emotionally) for the good days and hard days.  Especially when there is something that precedes a hard time, I can sometimes "catch" myself and run to the Lord to pre-empt the hard day.  But that's not always the case.

When a hard day comes, it's important to remind myself that it won't last forever.  Day and night both come around regularly - neither are permanent.  When the hard times, the dark nights, come I reach out for the light of the Spirit to drive away the shadows.  I proclaim the truths of who God is in the midst of the moonless night.  I worship Him for His goodness and faithfulness - even if I'm not feeling it at the moment.  My efforts at doing this - often feeble and weak - begin to get things back in perspective and help turn things around.

It's equally important on the good days to worship Him for who He is.  I don't take the good days for granted.  I express my gratitude.  I let my soul feast on the good things so that I'm filled up and ready for the hard things when they come back my way.  It's like reaping the harvest so that we're ready if famine comes.

Without His steadying hand it would be hard to walk through the yo-yo of good and hard days.  But He is by my side, and He keeps me firmly secure.

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe."  Proverbs 18:10

"Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."  Psalm 55:22

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice."  1 Peter 4:12,13

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:9,10

I THANK Him on the good days - and I TRUST Him on the hard days.  He is faithful and unchanging on ALL my days!

We've had some unusual weather recently.  We've had thick mist all around us.  At times it's been so dense that we could only see a few feet in front of us.  Even the street right in front of our house had disappeared.  It felt like the world around us had evaporated,  and we were stranded on an island surrounded by this heavy, rolling mist.

As I sat looking at the waves of mist rushing by outside my window, I could suddenly see parallels to my life.  There are so many things in my life that seem shrouded in mist.  I don't know what the future holds.  I sometimes don't even understand what the day in front of me holds.  I don't know if God will heal Floyd or take him to heaven.  I don't know if I'm going to win the battle over my persistent, recurring cancer.  I don't know what will happen in regard to things that several family members are facing.  There is a lot of "mist" in my life.  When I look at all the things I'm facing, the mist seems so thick.  I sometimes feel encapsulated by it.

But there's an interesting thing about these misty days.  At some point the sun breaks through and sends the mist fleeing away.  It often happens mid-morning.......but some days not until the afternoon.  There have even been days when it's lingered the whole day.  But - at some point - the mist does disappear!

As I observed all this, thought about it, I could sense the sweet voice of the Spirit speaking into my heart that the "mist" in my life won't last forever.  He will send the sun of His Spirit to chase it away.  I don't know when that will happen - it could be soon or it could be weeks/months, even years, away.  But the "mist" isn't permanent.

As this revelation and understanding flooded my heart, I could feel the Lord ministering it to my soul.  He's in control.  It brought a sense of comfort, release, and relief to my heart.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?"  Psalm 27:1

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."  Psalm 46:1

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing."  Zephaniah 3:17

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined."  Isaiah 9:2

Whatever mist we are facing in our lives, God will break through with rays of sunshine to help us, direct us, and chase the mist away.  He is always with us!  He is so faithful.

Our Big God

This week Floyd has had days of smiles where everyone who has been with him has gotten at least one smile - some more than one.  Then he has had some really bad days.  The dreaded roller coaster keeps going.  

When we're in the midst of the problems and the needs we have, they can often seem HUGE.  They may look like a mountain in front of us as we deal with them daily.  If we're not careful, the enemy can distract us to so focus on them that they overtake our vision.  

When that happens, it's easy for us to see our needs as huge and see God as small.  We may not feel His presence - or understand how He is working on our behalf.

I think this is one of the sneakiest ways that the enemy works.  He wants to undermine our confidence in God's power, His might, and His faithful love and concern for us.  He'll use any way he can to make God look small and distant.  He'll whisper in our ear that God doesn't care - that He has forgotten about us - that we are not worthy/deserving of His attention.  He has a thousand lies that he loves to use against us. 

If this happens, it's so important to speak out truth.  God does care!  He hasn't forgotten about us!  We may not be worthy in our own right, but God deems us worthy through the shed blood of the Lamb - and we definitely have His loving, caring attention!!  For each and every lie, we MUST counter it with statements and prayers of truth.  We cannot let any lie "hang" there - or the enemy will use it to gain a foothold in our souls.

The battle in our minds over these lies versus the truth of who God is is one of the biggest battles we face during hard times.  The enemy loves to "play" on our weakness and vulnerability as we go through trials and sufferings.  If he presented us with a huge billboard with lies on it about God - we'd see right through it.  Instead, he comes in small, subtle, clever half truths and mistruths that eat away at our faith and trust.  We must daily, constantly be on guard against his tactics.

At the beginning of the year, I wrote about trust.  I am being continually reminded of how important it is to trust God regardless of circumstances.  I have to daily (sometimes even hourly if I need to) declare my trust in God's goodness and faithfulness.  I believe it's my weapon for battle against whatever the enemy throws at me.

And you know what, the enemy never gives up!  When we expose one of his lies, he just starts working on the next one.  We have to stay vigilant and on guard.  We have to renew and affirm our trust in God continually.  We have to take control of our thought life and not give any opening for the enemy.  And we have to remind ourselves how very much God loves us!

"Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light."  2 Corinthians 11:14

"Put on the full armour of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil."  Ephesians 6:11

"The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."  2 Thessalonians 3:3

"Be sober-minded; be watchful.  Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."  1 Peter 5:8

"Submit yourselves to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."  James 4:7

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."  Isaiah 43:2

Someone sent me the wonderful photo above that illustrates the truth of how BIG God is in our lives.  Our "Aslan" is wonderful and powerful and keenly aware of us.  We are definitely not forgotten by Him!

The Lord keeps bringing me back to the word TRUST.  I think it's to be my "theme for the year."  I've been reflecting on the challenges to our trust.  It's easy to trust when things are going well......but the rubber really meets the road when hard things come our way. 

When that happens - it's amazing how easily and quickly resentment and anger can enter in if we're not careful.  We don't deserve this!  Aren't we faithfully serving the Lord?  Why would He allow this to happen?  Am I being punished?  A small seed of rebellion can enter into our hearts without us realizing it unless we are on guard.  

Maybe that's what happened to the children of Israel in the desert.  They were rejoicing that God had rescued them from Pharaoh in Egypt.  They had seen amazing miracles that had enabled them to be released from Pharaoh's iron-clad grip.  But soon the hard days in the wilderness wore on them - even though they had daily manna to feed them, a pillar of cloud to guide them during the day, and a pillar of fire to give them light at night!!  

They got tired of manna.  Life in the desert wasn't very pleasant.  It wasn't what they expected.  They started grumbling.  They even began to think that things were better under the brutal slavery of Pharaoh.  A seed of rebellion began to destroy their hearts.  They eventually turned to golden idols.  And it all started with a lack of trust in their hearts towards God and what He was doing and allowing in their lives.

In a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago, my friend mentioned how the children of Israel "grieved the Lord in the desert/wilderness."  The phrase pierced my heart!  I haven't been able to get it off my mind.  It keeps coming back to me again and again.

I've been in a desert/wilderness for a long time now on our unexpected journey.  I've had a type of "manna" each day as I've sensed the Lord's goodness and presence with me.  He has definitely led me day by day - and been with me with the light of His Spirit on the dark, hard nights.  I certainly don't want to grieve the Lord in the midst of this journey!!  Thinking of this has sharpened my awareness, my spiritual sensitivity to be careful.  I want to make sure I'm responding right to the trials I'm walking through.  God has been so very faithful to me.  I would hate to grieve His heart.

There will always be some desert and wilderness times in our life as long as we live on this earth.  I think we must purpose in our hearts before they come that we don't want to grieve the Lord......that we will trust Him completely.  If we have that sure foundation and commitment in place, it will help us when the hard times come.

"How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert."  Psalm 78:40

"The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart."  Genesis 6:6

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."  James 4:8

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him."  Psalm 145:18 

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."  1 Peter 5:6,7

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows that we are formed, He remembers that we are dust."  Psalm 103:13,14

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."  Isaiah 26:3

The trials don't seem to stop in my life on this unexpected journey.  Just when I think there's a break and things will be less intense - something new comes along.  I am facing stresses and battles from several directions right now.  I know I can't make it without His help - and I am purposing in my heart to be careful, to be on guard as I don't want to grieve the Lord in this desert/wilderness time.  

Kind Words Are Good Medicine

Floyd continues in the up and down cycle of good and not-so-good days.  I'm sure this is hard for him both physically and emotionally.  

I've thought about how we often wait until a person passes away to express our love and appreciation of them.  It's sad - because the person doesn't get to hear our words of gratitude.  It's certainly helpful to the family and gives them strength, but it's a shame the individual doesn't get to hear the encouragement.

Because of our long unexpected journey, our situation has been different.  Many of the dear ones whose lives we have touched and connected with over our 52 years of married life have sent messages of warmth, love, and appreciation.  I have shared them with Floyd.   It has been a sweet affirmation to both of us that the small seeds we have planted over the years have produced life and fruit.  I am so grateful to each person who has shared with us.  It has been a lovely encouragement. 

Some sweet friends who visited this past weekend put so much thought and effort into things they brought with them to express their love and appreciation.  I was so blessed - and Floyd was too.  He listened attentively to everything they shared.  Proverbs 15:4 (CEV) tells us that "kind words are good medicine."  We received some good medicine last weekend!  

"Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."  Proverbs 16:24

"A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook."  Proverbs 18:4

"Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach."  Proverbs 18:20

The results from my tests last week have come back and are cautiously optimistic.  They're not as good as I would have liked, but it looks like the treatment I'm on is moving things in the right direction!  I will continue with the treatment, and be tested again in 4 months.  

The treatment has side effects.....one of which is that my sleep is being impacted.  So we continue to pray for my healing and my strength.  

In the past weeks I’ve written about choosing not to fear - and pursuing peace.  As I've continued to reflect on this I've come to the understanding that peace and joy are gifts from the Father's heart that we must continually receive.  Circumstances come our way that rob us of both.  It can almost feel like being "mugged" of something precious.  Our treasure, our sense of peace and security......our well of joy, is stolen from us by events that we walk through.  We can easily be left feeling barren and empty.

In recent days I've had a number of things come my way that have impacted me in this way.  The result has been that I've been left feeling "exposed," and rather barren.  Thankfully that hasn't lasted long!  I've known I needed to go immediately to the Lord and ask Him to restore my peace and my joy.  He has faithfully, wonderfully done that each time.  In my need, He has been more than sufficient.

But it has been important to recognize my need, and ask Him for a fresh release of His deep peace and His abundant joy.  I can't just assume that what has been robbed will be restored.  I need to come before the Lord with open hands and open heart asking for Him to freely give those gifts to me again.  He's always waiting to fill my heart and mind afresh.

"Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."  Hebrews 4:16

"The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace."  Psalm 29:11 

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace."  Isaiah 55:12 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."  Psalm 94:19

I think sometimes I try to "protect" my heart from being impacted in such a way that my peace and my joy are robbed.  It's been so encouraging to see that when that happens - it's okay.  God is lovingly waiting to restore what the enemy has robbed.  He freely, graciously does that.

Probably like many of you, I've been reading the news reports about the drama in the royal family in England.  I'm so grateful that the details of our family life aren't splattered over the news!  What a stressful way to live.  It's been intriguing to watch the events unfold - and also thought provoking.

As I was reading yet another news update, a lightening bolt thought hit my heart.  In my heavenly royal family, I am never either in or out!  I am always IN.  I don't have to do things or perform - I am loved and accepted as I am.  I'm not judged by my works.  I'm not better or worse according to what I can or can't do.  What a wonderful assurance.

As the months go by, I often berate myself because I can't "do it all."  But God never ever puts that condemnation on me.  Just the opposite in fact.  He continually ministers His grace and encouragement to my heart - not on works, but on His love and acceptance of me as His daughter.  My royal status remains intact and secure.

I was reminded by a friend that "we see bones, but God sees an army."  Ezekiel 37:1-14.  Floyd wrote a book on this.  We see our need, our weakness, our failure, our dry bones......but God breathes life into our weakness and brings success because of who HE is.  It's not dependent on us.

I find such comfort in this - especially on my weak and weary days.  He is strong when I'm weak.  He is the "way-maker."  He is always at work in and through us.  And He loves and accepts me just as I am.

Thank you Lord!!  I will serve Him with all my might on my strong days, and I will serve Him to the best of my ability on my weak days.  He receives it all as my worship to Him.

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer."  Psalm 19:14

"For God does not show favouritism."  Romans 2:11

"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."  1 Peter 2:9

"You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God."  Isaiah 62:3

God loves us, accepts us - not on our performance, not as something we've earned, not because we are deserving.......but because He chooses us as His own royal family.  I'm so grateful to be His daughter.

Best Friends

A long time friend who worked with us in Holland visited this past week.  We had a lovely visit together, and then we went to see Floyd.  He was so attentive to everything she shared.  He seemed to just soak in all the news and testimonies that she told him.  It was very sweet, very tender.  Both of us thanked and affirmed him for his ministry those many years ago in Holland that is still bearing fruit, and we prayed together for him.

Some have asked what the prognosis is for Floyd as we enter this new year.  Basically, there isn't one.  The doctors never thought Floyd would live this long.  They have no idea what will or will not happen going forward.  More than ever before, Floyd is in God's wonderful, sovereign hands......which is a good place to be.

Sometimes I feel like I could easily get whiplash just from my daily life!  I don't even need a car accident!  I'm "hit" one way - and then life swings and I'm "hit" another way.  The different impacts can be quite jarring.  When circumstances come our way, problems, needs.....even good things - we can be swung in different directions.  Our emotions can range from joy to sadness, from happiness to depression, from relief to despair.  It can happen in a week, in a day, even in an hour!  On the unexpected journey that I've been on, I find that I often have several of these whiplash moments in just one day.  They come a lot more frequently than I want!  Emotional whiplash is very possible in our everyday lives.

I've found that my only protection from this, the only "treatment" that I know to apply, is to constantly turn my focus back to the Lord.  If it's joy I'm impacted with - I worship.  If it's sadness I'm impacted with - I take my sorrow to the cross.  Whatever feeling and emotion I'm being bombarded with because of the circumstances I'm faced with - I have found that I need to immediately turn it to the Lord - or else it can easily spin out of control.  The "whiplash" of emotions can control me and throw me off balance if I don't bring them into the Lord's grace and presence.

The fast changing impact of world events can bring whiplash too.  Something happens - and within minutes it is transmitted around the world and we know about it.  There are frequently several "big" events happening each day.  I think it's easy to underestimate how much these impact us - how they can bring "whiplash" into our lives.

The Word tells us that God is always with us - holding our hand, never leaving us or forsaking us, staying as close as a whisper away. When we are swung in different directions, He is there to steady us and help us stay firmly close to Him.  If we feel distant from Him, we can know for certain that He hasn't moved!  We need to quickly turn back to Him if we feel any distance.

As long as we live on this earth, we will face whiplash moments.  I've had an unusually large amount of them in recent years, but all of us face them.  Our wonderful heavenly Father knew that would happen and already provided instruction, comfort, and promises in the Word. 

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go."  Genesis 28:15 

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"  Romans 8:31

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles."  Psalm 34:17

Sometimes my heart gets sore from all the whiplash moments in the day.....but as I turn to Him, He pours His soothing, healing, loving balm into each one.  As ALWAYS, He is so faithful!

This week I had a big medical test.  Depending on the results, I may need more tests.  I don't know if I'll ever get "used to" facing these big tests on the cancer journey.  Every time I have one, I find myself facing insecurity and feeling very vulnerable.  I always have to actively pursue God's peace - to choose not to fear.  It's not the test - it's the results that weigh heavily.  I have to battle my mind going to all the "what ifs" of the future.  I, like Floyd, am also in God's wonderful, sovereign hands.

I was listening to a song that a friend sent me.  "God is the waymaker, the miracle worker - He's at work even when we don't see it or feel it."

I found that very profound and reassuring.  I have such a limited perspective of what God is doing.  I know that I know that I know that He is at work......but I only see and understand snippets of what He is doing.  This is why it's so important for me to choose not to fear and to pursue His peace......while He's at work on my behalf.

As I wait for my test results..... I TRUST in Him.  I love these verses from Psalm 23:1-6 in The Passion Translation:

"The Lord is my best friend and my shepherd.  I always have more than enough.

He offers a resting place for me in His luxurious love.  His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss. 

That's where He restores and revives my life.  He opens before me pathways to God's pleasure and leads me along in His footsteps of righteousness so that I can bring honor to His name.

Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have!  You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.  Your authority is my strength and my peace.  The comfort of your love takes away my fear.  I'll never be lonely, for you are near.

You become my delicious feast even when my enemies dare to fight.  You anoint me with the fragrance of you Holy Spirit;  you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.

So why would I fear the future?  For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life.  Then afterward, when my life is through, I'll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you!"

Every verse ministers deeply to my heart in my current situation!  I choose not to fear and to rest in His peace.

I Trust You Lord

Floyd continues to have up and down days.  I am so grateful that he was having a "good" day when our grandkids were here.  We keep praying for peace, comfort, and grace for him. 

As we move into a new year, I take comfort in the words from Psalm 73 that He is "always with me."  I am so keenly aware that I can't make it alone - for one day, one minute, one second.  I need Him.  God assures us over and over in the Word that He is with us.  People may let us down.  Situations may not go the way we think, planned or hoped for.  But God is always, always faithful.

There's a song called "He Won't Fail You."  It affirms that God is always with us.  "Through the storm your cries are heard - He will always be who He's always been - You can trust His holy word."

In a day and age when so many things are changing.  Things we thought we could always count on are melting away in front of our eyes.  But God is unchanging.  What He said He'd do, He will do.

The song goes on to say:  "He didn't fail Daniel in the lion's den.  He didn't fail Abraham or Gideon.  He didn't fail Noah on the ocean blue.  No, He didn't fail Jonah, and He won't fail you."  God didn't fail those who have gone before us, and He won't fail us!

There are so many testimonies of God's goodness, mercy, and help.  They remind us that He is with us - that He will never, ever fail us.  He has been with us - He is with us - and He will be with us!  That doesn't mean we'll always get the exact answer we want!  But He WILL meet us and help us.

While my grandkids have been here, we've looked at old photos and I've told them our "stories."  The more stories I told, the more it became clearer and clearer to all of us that God has been with us!  I think we tend to forget all the times He has led us, met us, answered prayer, provided, helped us, and been so amazingly, incredibly good and faithful!  It's been a wonderful exercise of looking back and being grateful.   

It's been fun too!  :)  Many of the stories the grandkids had never heard.  They are returning home with a lot of McClung "history."  It's kinda reminded me of when God told them in the Bible to tell things to their children and their children's children.  I hope the testimonies of God's goodness to our family can be passed on to future generations.

"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me unto glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  Psalm 73:23-26

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."  Psalm 23:4

Because of His promise - "I am with you." - I have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about as I move into this new year.  He has been with me in the past, and He will be with me in the coming year.  I relax in His secure embrace.  How wonderfully faithful He is.

We're only a few days into the new year, but the Lord has already been speaking something clearly to me for this year.  TRUST.  In a number of ways He has been reminding me of how important it is to trust Him.  I can't live by circumstances!  I must live by a firm, secure trust in Him.  I've tried to do this all along our unexpected journey, but God has been speaking to me afresh about it.

To name just a few, these are things that can undermine trust: 

·      when we don't understand

·      when the "pieces" don't fit

·      when we have more questions than answers

·      when we're sick, tired, weary

·      when we feel overwhelmed by circumstances

·      when things happen that bring pain to our hearts

·      when we allow our mind to go to the "what ifs"

·      when we feel stretched beyond what we can handle 

When I face these things, I have found that I have to "purpose" my heart towards absolute trust in the Lord regardless of any and all situations that come my way.  That trust has to be firm, secure, strong or else I won't be able to hold steady in it when things "hit" me.

I have recently felt bombarded by a number of things.  It has felt like waves crashing over me - winds buffeting me one direction and then another.  The solid rock of trust - because He IS my Rock - has held me firm and secure.

We human beings want answers.  Especially in the day and age in which we live, when we have more and more answers to things in life - we want understanding of the things we face.  We want to know what is happening, what to expect, what our choices are.  But that isn't always possible.  Having understanding/answers won't always happen.  But having trust in the Lord, staying tucked in close to Him, will get us through each and every hard time.

I have a strong belief and conviction that God will bring good from hard times.  But that can't happen if I don't trust Him.  Through my decades of life, that is something that I have repeatedly worked on learning.  I must trust God in every situation.  As I trust Him, it frees Him to work in my life in ways that only He can......and to "redeem" the hard seasons with good things.

I realize that it's easier to talk about trusting Him all the time - than to actually do it.  That's why I used the word "purpose" my heart towards absolute trust in the paragraph above.  It's a choice.  It must be a repeated choice.  It has to be something we work at, something we strive for.  It doesn't just happen.  But it is wonderfully possible.  And trusting Him in the hard times helps make the hard times easier to bear.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5,6

"The Lord is my strength and shield.  I trust Him with all my heart.  He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy."  Psalm 28:7

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."  Psalm 20:7

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You."  Psalm 56:3

"Steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord."  Psalm 32:10

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord."  Jeremiah 17:7

On hard days when I'm confronted with weariness, with lack of understanding, with hard things - I simply say "I trust you Lord."  It immediately releases the burdens from my heart and into the Lord's capable hands.  I can then rest secure in His loving care.  He is always good and faithful!

He Sees Us

I had a sweet visit with Floyd this past week.  He gave me a good smile when I told him about our grandkids arriving safely.  I told him some things we had done, and he got very teary.  

I hate the Christmas season coming to a close.  It's been special - and it's been wonderful to "reflect" on different aspects of the Christmas story.  Some have been familiar - others have been new to my thinking.  My heart is full and overflowing.  I look forward to next Dec. when I can begin anew.

One of the things that struck me this year was some of the "hidden" people of both the story of Christ's birth - and also from his life.  Anna who I wrote about was one of them from his birth story.  We don't hear much at all about her - only 3 verses written about her, and yet she was a very special woman of God.

I've thought about how the life of Jesus is marked right from the beginning by His "seeing" people, seeking them out, noticing them, calling out to them.  We aren't hidden from Him.  He sees each and every one of us.

Jesus saw the children that the adults were pushing to the side.  He saw women at the back of the crowd - or ones that society rejected.  He saw the lepers.  He saw the sick who were waiting for a miracle.  He saw the lonely ones.  He saw the ones who were ignored by those around them.  He "saw" the woman who touched the hem of His garment.  He saw the man up in the tree.  He saw the open heart of the man hanging on the cross next to Him.  Jesus always looked to see people.  He understood that each one was precious.  None were hidden from Him.

I take such comfort in this because I know it means He sees me!  In many ways my life is a bit "hidden" right now.  I'm on my own a lot.  It's not a bad thing - I need the peace and quiet to spend time with Him and to recharge my batteries, and to allow my body to heal with the treatment I'm on.  I can't "do" as much as I used to do.  I can't "go" a lot of places because I simply don't have the energy.  I often don't feel I'm accomplishing much - especially in relation to how our life has been so full and busy over all our years.  And yet, I feel so "seen" by the Lord.  I know He is right with me.  I sense His presence with me moment by moment.

And I want to encourage you that He "sees" each one of you in whatever your situation is.  He loves you, He cares for what you're going through, He listens when you pour out your heart to Him, and He is working to help you in what you face.  He is WITH you.  You are not overlooked.

Being seen by Jesus has nothing to do with power or status.  It's not about our accomplishments.  We may even be in the background, but He sees us and loves us for who we are.  In fact He's created us as the kind of person we are or aren't.  We are each uniquely created in His image.

"His eyes are upon the ways of a man, and He sees all his steps."  Job 34:21  

"The ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths."  Proverbs 5:21

"My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from My face."  Jeremiah 16:17

"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love."  Psalm 33:18

Not one single one of us is "hidden" from view from the Lord!  We may think that others are getting more of His attention, but that's not true.  He is working, faithfully working, on behalf of each of us.  He sees us.

It's hard to believe that it’s a new year!  In spite of all the hard things we've walked through, the year seems to have flown by.  You would think it would feel the opposite! 

I never dreamed that our unexpected journey would continue on for so long.  It still seems so unreal.  And yet, here we are facing another new year.  It feels a bit daunting to me.  I have to be very careful not to allow my mind to wonder about all the "what ifs" of the year ahead.  I remind myself that His grace is (and has been) sufficient for each day - not for the months ahead.  God doesn't give His grace to us to be stored up.  He meets our needs one day at a time.

In fact, as I've been thinking about this, I've felt the Lord prompting me to just take it "one step at a time."  I'm a planner, a do-er, I like to be organized.  But there has not been one single thing about this unexpected journey that I could plan.  I have had to face things as they come, and ask God for wisdom and direction in knowing how to deal with them.

It's actually quite encouraging.  I can't face the "mountains" that loom over my future......but one step at a time seems like something I might be able to handle.  Because of my numb feet, I have to be very careful about walking - watching and being aware of each step I take.  I guess it's the same on this journey.  As I daily take each step, I can also be aware of what God is saying.  I can receive His help for each step.  He may even take me on a different path so that some of the things that look so big in my future may even change.

One step at a time, holding His hand, listening to His voice, trusting in His goodness and faithfulness, and keeping my eyes on Him sounds like a good plan for the new year!

"My God is one step ahead of me with His mercy."  Psalm 59:10  The Voice

"As you go, step by step, I will open up the way before you."  Proverbs 4:12  (a literal translation)

"My feet have closely followed His steps; I have kept to His way without turning aside."  Job 23:11

"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him."  Psalm 37:23

"In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:6 

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."  Psalm 119:105 

I'm grateful that I can keep holding his hand as I walk through the new year.  I can't face the whole year ahead.  Sometimes I don't even think I can face the whole day ahead, but with His help I can face one step at a time.  I know He'll keep me steadily on course for whatever is ahead.  A "blessed New Year" to each one.  We are safe and secure in His hands.