Missing Out

Our grandson, Luke, just celebrated his 4th birthday.  We received the email invitation to his party at the zoo.  We sent our regrets.  We knew he wanted a bicycle.  We sent a check for his parents to buy that for him from us.  We called on his birthday to talk to him.  After 3 attempts, we managed to actually speak to him.  We assured him we loved him, and told him we wished we could come to his party when he asked if we would be there.  We watched the DVD sent by email of his party.  We wished we could have been there to join in the celebration.

These are the kinds of events that pull on my heartstrings now because I'm living half a world away from my 2 grandchildren.  I miss them!  I miss seeing the changes in them.  I miss watching them grow up.  I miss being close enough to talk to them any time I want for as long as I want.  I miss sending them surprise packages to remind them that I love them.

This was by FAR the biggest issue I had to process in moving to South Africa.  After a number of years of being very ill, our daughter was told by doctors that she would never be able to have children.  The Lord wonderfully healed her, but it was still uncertain if she would be able to conceive and carry children.  I never accepted the doctor's statements as fact, and prayed for years that we would have these little ones.  The story of each of their births is a miracle and testimony to God's goodness and power.  We are so grateful for their lives.  They are truly a gift from the Lord.

And now I'm so far away!  Overall I've had a great rest and peace about this.  In processing our decision to move here, I worked it through in my heart with the Lord, and it wasn't an "issue" any more.  But there are moments, like special celebrations, when I feel the distance.  I feel like I'm missing out.  Luke's birthday was one of those.

I had a good talk with the Lord about it!  I expressed my gratitude for the phone and internet that keeps us in good communication.  And I thanked the Lord again that we have these 2 dear ones.  Many medical experts said they weren't to be, but God's thoughts and ways were higher.  Near or far, they are a gift from Him.  I will enjoy and celebrate their lives.  I'm glad Luke had a 4th birthday!!

"David was greatly distressed.....he strengthened himself in the Lord his God."  I Samuel 30:6   I joined David in this.....my burden was lifted and my strength renewed.