I can't believe we're in November already! The year has been intense, and seems to have gone by so quickly. I have spent most of it at the hospital! Not my favorite place I have to say.
In the past few weeks we had a meeting with Floyd's head doctor to get some more understanding of Floyd's condition and the time ahead. He told us that there is no way they can help improve his condition. Medically speaking, they are at a loss. We've heard this before, but it was very sobering to be faced with it again. The doctor said because of Floyd's limited cognitive ability, he doesn't feel Floyd is aware of everything. For instance, he doesn't think Floyd would be aware of the passage of time. So there is hope that he may be more at peace than we know. He may not be suffering as much as we feared.
After these recent meetings we've had with Floyd's doctors and therapists, I found myself very tired and emotionally drained. I am facing lots of decisions about Floyd's care. It is challenging and intense for me. I've been encouraged by a number of people that the Lord's "got" me! He is carrying me, and He won't give me more than I can handle. I am trying my best to rest in His love, receive His peace, and let Him carry the burdens. He is able and sufficient!
"The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Other versions say "He will quiet you in His love."
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19
I love how the Word speaks so specifically to what we need. I thank Him for His goodness!
A lady I know in the U.S. sends me her weekly blog post sharing inspiring and devotional thoughts. I've been thinking and reflecting on a recent one. The points below are hers - the comments are mine.
- Jesus is no respecter of persons. I've often thought that God doesn't "owe" us anything. When I pray, or ask for prayers, for Floyd - I'm very aware that anything we receive from Him is a gift. He doesn't care any more or any less for us than others of His children.
- Jesus shows up in obscure and remote places. And I would add that He often shows up when we least expect it! And He often doesn't show up or answer our prayers when we think He should. We don't have to be in church for Him to show up. I remember when we lived in Afghanistan thinking that I was so glad it wasn't too remote for Him to answer our prayers there......and He answered so many!
- Jesus waits for us to call out to Him. He loves for us to ask! I think He wishes we would call out to Him more. He wants to be involved in all aspects of our lives. Nothing is too big - or too small for us to ask.
- Jesus honors our faith. His answers don't depend on our faith - they're because of who He is! But He loves for us to believe. He wants us to grow in our faith. He wants us to "expect" answers from Him.
- Jesus deserves praise and thanks! There have been times when I've been so excited about the answers to prayer, that I almost forgot to stop and thank Him!! He loves our praise and worship. He responds to thankful hearts. He created us to worship Him and have fellowship with Him.
As I've been thinking of these aspects about Jesus, it's made me aware all over again of how awesome He is!
"Jesus, name above all names.
Beautiful Savior, glorious Lord.
Emmanuel, God is with us.
Blessed Redeemer, Living Word."
"Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place, and gave Him the name that is above every name." Philippians 2:9
I'm so grateful that Jesus invites our prayers. He listens. He cares. He is answering in ways that we don't even know. We can keep asking!
Just this past week I was reminded that when Jesus did some of His miracles, He wasn't in a hurry. We see this with Lazarus and with Jairus' daughter. I keep thinking that if God is planning to heal Floyd, I'm sure He has His own time table for it.
I was reading Job 14:5-7 too. "A man's days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set." If God plans to take Floyd home, He also has His time table for that.
All I can do is look to Him, and keep trusting for His will to be done.
Through the months that we have prayed for Floyd, there were many times when it seemed we were doing spiritual warfare. Certainly times when we felt to resist the enemy - to stand against him and his plans and purposes. It would seem we should have conquered and moved beyond that.
But I find myself standing against the enemy more and more - rather than less! I sense that there is still warfare going on in the spiritual realm during this journey of intercession we are involved in. I feel the enemy is fighting. I don't know exactly what the battle is, but the enemy isn't giving up. One friend said maybe he knows his time is running out and he's losing. Thank goodness we know that Jesus is the victor!! I just keep praising the Lord that He is over all, and that His purposes will be accomplished in this journey!
"Great trials often precede great triumphs." This has been a long, hard journey - but I believe God has some victories in mind for the Kingdom through it.
"Victory rests with the Lord." Proverbs 21:31