Walking Into The Fire

Floyd’s strength is increasing!  He is pulling himself up more and more each day, and he is also managing longer times on the tilt table.  He started at 30 seconds, and is up to 5 minutes now.  Good improvement!

On Wednesday it was Floyd's birthday!  I had a sweet morning with him.  The All Nations community had recorded singing happy birthday to him. When I played that, his face registered lots of emotion and he got teary.  Our daughter and son-in-law got up in the middle of the night to Face Time with us to bring wishes to him!  I also read a number of greetings and messages to Floyd from all over the world.  I kept telling him how loved and prayed for he is.

I'm grateful for that special morning with my gentle giant - my best friend for most of my life.  I'll keep praying for healing and restoration!

2 Cor. 4:17 - "This light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison."

I love the promise of that verse, but when you're in the middle of the affliction it is neither light nor momentary!  It seems just plain hard.  When someone sent me that verse as an encouragement, I wasn't sure if it was encouraging!  :)

There have been some very hard times in the last 5 months.  There have been times when I wondered if I'd survive.  I was praying with some friends one day, and I told them "I just don't know if I can make it!"  But He's helped me, and I have survived.  I don't know what's still ahead, but I'm trusting Him to keep helping me.  

A consistent theme from prayers all over the world at the moment is "restoration."  I am joining with those prayers, and trusting God for healing and full restoration for Floyd.

I find myself choosing daily to keep focusing my heart to work with God's purposes during this journey.  I don't want to draw back out of weariness. I've found there are several responses I can have during times like this:

-            I can try to "ignore" how hard it is.......but, if I do that, I will miss out on the support and help I need to make it through.  Honesty and openness is so important during a difficult season.  I've been so grateful I can share through the updates I write and have the support of so many people's prayers!  I know I can't make it alone, and the love and care I have received through this long journey has been incredible.  Some days I am so tired that I wonder if what I am sharing in the updates makes sense, but I have been graciously encouraged to keep writing them.

-            I can "grit my teeth" and force my way through the hard time.  But that will only last for a short period of time.  I could have never made it that way through this long journey.  And the stress from this kind of response only makes the hard time harder.  I know - I've tried it before.

-            I can choose to learn and grow and receive God's help.  That is what I have needed to do daily (often many times a day!) - and I am finding I need to keep doing in my tiredness.  Because the journey has been long, I just want to rest - not quit, but draw back.  I find the Lord saying to me to keep pressing in!

He's definitely encouraged me to take care of myself and get the rest I need - but that is different than drawing back on the learning and growing and pressing in for all He has during this time.  When I've had a hard day, I've felt Him encouraging me not to give up.  To not see a setback as irreversible.  To not see the difficulty as insurmountable.

Years ago I read a story about a family caught in a forest fire.  I went back and looked it up in my notes to refresh my memory.  They were in the path of a rapidly moving forest fire.  They jumped in their car to try and outrun it, but they quickly saw that it was impossible.  So they got out of their car and ran into the fire!  This way the fire would pass over them quickly.  They were burned, pretty badly, but they survived!  If they had kept running in front of the fire, they would have been killed.

I feel like I've needed to keep walking into the fire.  It's difficult - I feel like I have some scars from the burns......but it's not killing me.  With God's grace and help, I'm making it through the fire.  He is faithful!