Floyd has been having some nice visits this week. He has been relaxed and attentive, and giving the carers some big "Floyd" smiles. :)
I have had some new ‘twists’ on our unexpected journey this week. After my regular cancer check ups the doctors have found that my ovarian cancer has returned. I am currently waiting to do a PET scan so the doctors can get a better idea of exactly how the chemo treatment should go.
Just 2 years and 8 months ago I was at this same place - recovering from the surprise of having cancer and facing treatment. But that time, Floyd was by my side. He was such a help and support. I miss him.
My biggest concern is how I can go through chemo and manage Floyd's care at the same time. Over the next few days I will be charting out everything I do for Floyd's care and seeing how I can get friends to help me with this. BUT, I am praying for a miracle of healing!
I know God is not surprised by this. I am trusting that somehow, in His own unique way, He'll be glorified by all this.
Over the weekend as I prayed, I reminded the Lord that He doesn't give us more than we can bear. I asked Him to make double sure with whatever was ahead! :)
As I've pondered all this, and all that we've gone through this past year, some thoughts have come to me:
- He "trusts" us with these trials.
- He knows it's not "too much."
- He will bring good into our lives through it.
- His grace will be sufficient for every need.
- Somehow all this will bring Him glory!
I'm so encouraged by those things.
"They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. They are confident and fearless and can face their foes triumphantly." Psalm 112:7,8 NLT
"Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." Colossians 2:7 NLT
"The very steps we take come from God; otherwise how would we know where we're going?" Proverbs 20:24 The Message
I don't need to fear this bad news. I can put my roots down deep in His truth. And I can trust that my steps are being led by Him.
I'm very sorry that I'm having to face this again, but my trust in Him is strong. My heart has been amazingly at peace. That could only come from Him.
In recent days it seems God is calling us to be persistent, persevering, clear, and forthright in our prayers. There's been a sense that God has been saying "Ask strongly. It's okay. Be angry with the ways of the enemy. Tell him 'it's enough.' Don't be afraid to have 'holy anger' at the enemy. Don't be afraid to pray strong and clear prayers. Don't be afraid to ask for miracles. Don't be timid."
Until the day I have to start chemo, I'm asking God for a healing miracle!
"Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart, saying, "In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect man. There was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, 'Give me legal protection from my opponent.'
For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, 'Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.' "
And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge said; now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them? I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly." Luke 18:1-8
I want to be like the persistent widow! I'm excited to see what God has in store for us as we ask.
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: 'Power belongs to you, God, and with you, Lord, is unfailing love.'; and 'You reward everyone according to what they have done.' " Psalm 62:5-8, 11, 12
My confidence is in Him - my Rock, my Refuge!