Breaking Through
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Floyd is a bit better from the congestion that he struggles with. We are grateful for answered prayer!
This week I got the results of my biopsy. I'm not sure if it's good news or bad news. The results were "inconclusive." I'm relieved that I didn't receive a verdict of the cancer returning - but we still aren't sure what is going on. I need to wait now for the inflammation from the biopsy to heal, and then I'll be doing a PET scan.
In the meantime, I'll continue all the things I've been doing for taking care of myself - and keep praying for healing.
The last few days I've felt like I've been on that roller coaster again. It's exhausting! Sarah Young says that when we come to the Lord's table of His goodness, we need "to be sure to bring our fork of trust and our spoon of thankfulness." That's what I've been doing.
I continually speak out my trust in God's goodness and sovereignty, and I thank Him for who He is and all that He's doing. Choosing to do this keeps me from worrying about the future and what's ahead. A day before my results, I had a phone call that seemed ominous about the report. It immediately brought fear.
I was surprised at how quickly that emotion could pop its head up. I needed to stop it immediately before it took root in my heart. Trust and thankfulness were my protection. It was like putting on armor to keep the darts of fear from penetrating. I'm so grateful for these weapons of warfare!
" 'I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " Jeremiah 29:11
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5,6
"I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation." Psalm 13:5
"Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of His deeds in songs of joy!" Psalm 107:22
I saw someone this week that I haven't seen for a while. They encouraged me that I look really well - healthy. I'm receiving that as encouragement that my inner body is healthy too!
Someone sent me a photo of the beautiful spring tulips pressing their way out of the frozen, snow covered ground. I love it! I identify with those tulips. I have used the picture at the top of this post for you to see.
It sometimes feels like I've been walking through a barren, frozen, snow covered path all these months. Much in our lives feels "suspended" in time. Life is on hold. Things can't move forward. We deal with what's happening, but we're staying in the same place.....no movement. One of our family said: "Life moves on all around us, but this life for us doesn't move......at least that which we see with our finite eyes. We're in an emotional and spiritual "suspension."
This feeling of suspension is a strange one. Sometimes I look at everyone around me - it seems like life is full and active for them - while I feel like I'm in the same place, never moving.
But in the midst of this - God holds us together. I/we couldn't make it otherwise. I feel like those yellow and red tulips.....reaching for the sun, ready to come into the world. They've had the strength to press through the frozen ground and live! That's what I'm trying, choosing to do.
There is no frozen ground, no hardness, no pain, no suffering, no trial that we can't "break through" with His grace, help, and strength! Be it a "little" situation - or an earth shattering one, God will be with us and help us survive and blossom into fresh life and hope. He created us this way.
I heard someone say that when the dream, the word, the thing we're praying for seems the furthest away, it's the closest to us. We've been praying for breakthroughs, for healing, for change - and I don't know if it's close or far. But the one thing I'm assured of is that God is close to us in the midst of all this. Closer than the air we breathe. I rest in His closeness. And I press through the frozen ground towards the sun!
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8
"Those who hope in me will not be disappointed." Isaiah 49:23b
"God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4
"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow." Isaiah 55:12,13
"For you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall." Malachi 4:2
"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37
How wonderful that our faithful God is with us in every season - helping us to reach for the sun!