Beauty Is Formed In Adversity
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In dealing with the cancer and my health, I go to quite a few different doctors and therapists......but they all consistently "prescribe" the same thing. I hear these phrases over and over - "take care of yourself" - "be kind to yourself" - "have some fun." I've heard them so often that they seem to echo in my mind through the day. I know they're all good and right, but they're sometimes easier said than done.
I do try to "take care of myself." I know that I'm no help to Floyd if I'm not doing well. I try to eat well. I exercise. I get good sleep. I take vitamins and supplements to build up my body after all the medicines I've taken. With caring for Floyd, battling cancer in my body, being involved in various ways in our ministry, taking care of our finances and paying all the bills, and handling the normal things of life - I sometimes feel stretched thin. I try to balance out these things so that my days don't get too stressful.
I also try to "be kind to myself." This one is a bit challenging as I'm not always sure how to do it! I had a good example of this yesterday. We have started having "load shedding" again (where the electricity is turned off for 2-3 hours at a time to take pressure off the national grid). It's amazing how it disrupts life! It seemed like everything I wanted to do I needed electricity for. So, in being kind to myself instead of getting frustrated, I took a nap! :) I slept soundly for over an hour, and woke up refreshed and feeling much more able to deal with the frustration.
"Having fun" is perhaps the most challenging! I find it hard to have fun when my heart is continually thinking about Floyd, and praying for him. I try to think of fun things to do. Usually it's reading a book, watching a movie, or going out to lunch with friends. I'm grateful that Cape Town has lots of fun cafes and restaurants! Because my energy is limited, my fun activities can't be too adventurous.
As I was thinking about all this, it seemed a strange thing to talk about in the update, but I felt I should share it because I actually think these are good "prescriptions" for all of us in our lives. Whether we're sick - dealing with some trial in our lives - or just trying to cope with the stress of our busy day and age.......I think God wants us to take care of ourselves, be kind to ourselves, and have some fun. God Himself took a day to rest. Jesus withdrew from the crowds and rested. They knew what they needed. God made His world for us to enjoy, but we sometimes get too busy to do that.
Our bodies are His temple - we need to take care of them!
"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" 1 Corinthians 3:16
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
"Don't wear yourself out trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit." Proverbs 23:4 NLT
"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.' " Matthew 11:28
I don't know what my future holds, but for as long as God keeps me on this earth I want to follow the simple "prescriptions" I've been given. They are good ones!
A few days ago when I was visiting with Floyd, I was feeling overwhelmed with his current condition. The tall, vibrant man that he was has become weak, frail, and somewhat shrunken. The "gentle giant" of the man he was seemed so small. I see him regularly, but somehow this all reached out and felt like a slap in the face during my recent time with him. It grieved me to see him like this. My heart felt heavy.
I had to come home and talk to the Lord about it! I had to give it all to the Lord - cast the burden of it on Him. I spoke out my absolute trust in God and in His sovereign will. I quoted the promises of God's love and care for us, of His wanting what is best for us.....even if we can't see and understand it. My only response can be trust to the One who holds us in His hands. As I did all this, the weight of what had come upon me from my visit with Floyd was lifted. I truly felt God took the burden of it all off my heart.
I've spent some time reflecting again on some of the things I've been learning about suffering - there is so much! I could write pages and pages about it. I've shared many of the things I've learned, but it was good for me to think about them again.
· Suffering can last a long time. I am confident that our prayers are answered, but not always as quickly as we'd like - and often not in the way that we would like or expect. In fact, our expectations about how our prayers "should" be answered are often a big part of how we'll be able to walk through the suffering. Sometimes our pain comes not only from the physical suffering, but also from the disappointment of our false expectations.
· Times of suffering are the best times to learn about God's goodness, faithfulness, and grace. There is a level of fellowship and intimacy that we can walk in with the Lord in suffering that I don't think can come in any other way. I don't even know how to give words to it. I just know that there is a depth that I've experienced in my relationship with the Lord that I've not had before. Probably because I've needed Him so very much more during this time!
· It's during times of suffering that our character is shaped and formed in deeper and greater ways. It's a time when we can experience a new level of spiritual maturity if we don't shy back from the lessons He has for us. I heard one person say that it's an opportunity to become a "person of greatness" as we walk hand in hand with the Lord through suffering.
· During this prolonged season of suffering I have also learned a simple, but profound truth - God is there and His Word is completely true, even if I don't "feel" it. I've experienced a new level of "walking by truth and not by sight." I may not always see or feel the truth of His Word, of His promises - but that doesn't change the fact that they ARE true!! I can't only live by what I see and feel.
A friend reminded me recently of how precious pearls are formed. They are formed inside the oyster shell by "adversity" - irritants in the shell. A beautiful saltwater pearl can take 5 to 20 years to form. The longer it is shaped and formed by the irritant, the larger and more beautiful it will become.
The pearl is the only gemstone created "inside" a living creature. Wow - that's a whole sermon right there! As we face adversity in life, we have to stay tucked in close to the living Lord in order to be formed in His image. We can't become who He wants us to be if we're distant from Him.
During times of suffering, God is using the "irritant," the adversity, to shape and form us into something beautiful and precious! He is wanting to mould us into His beautiful "pearl of great price."
"The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls. When he found one very precious pearl, he went away and sold all he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45,46
"After you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation." ! Peter 5:10
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
The wonderful, beautiful thing in all our suffering is that He is faithful! Day in, day out, morning, noon and night - He is completely, absolutely faithful! We're never alone.