His Wraparound Presence
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I read these words in one of Sarah Young's devotionals quite some time ago, and they have stuck with me:
"When you are suffering and your troubles seem endless, remember I am tenderly present in your afflictions. Instead of lamenting the way things are, search for me in the wreckage of adversity. You will not fail to find me 'when you search for me with all your heart.' "
I can identify with the "wreckage of adversity" right now, and I am going to need to press in deeper to the grace and strength of the Lord. The results of my recent scan were not what I was hoping for. In spite of all the treatment I've been through this year, the tumor has continued growing. It is now quite large. I need to do some more testing - but treatment options are limited and daunting.
To be honest, I felt nauseous when I got the call from my oncologist. She called me almost the minute she got the report. I'm so grateful she didn't keep me waiting. She's really a wonderful doctor!
I talked to my family, and spent time talking to the Lord. The news was disheartening, disappointing, but I know I need to keep my eyes on Him and not on the overwhelming circumstances. I'm not giving up hope on praying for a miracle!! And I'm trusting for wisdom for all the decisions I'll need to make in the coming days and weeks.
I recently read this quote from Corrie ten Boom: "There's nothing too great for God's power. Nothing too small for His love. God has no problems, only plans." I'm trusting for His plans for my future.
David said in Psalm 139:16 - "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." I know my days are in His hands - which is a wonderful place to be.
I have spent time asking God to help me get my equilibrium back! I feel like my emotions and my heart were swung way over on the overwhelming/impossible side after this news.......and I wanted to get my heart fully back on the side of keeping my eyes on the Lord and trusting Him.
As I fixed my eyes on Him, my heart, my mind, and my emotions have settled into a gentle peace. There are still discussions, tests, and decisions ahead in the coming days/weeks - but I'm trusting God to help me one-day-at-a-time. It's hard to not rush ahead into the what ifs and all the possibilities. My mind wanders there if I'm not careful. But I know I need to be careful, and I most definitely need to keep my eyes on Him and my hand safely in His.
"You will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord." Jeremiah 29:13,14
"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4
"Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.' " Isaiah 41:13
God has been my faithful help every step of the way on this unexpected journey. I know my results were not a surprise to Him. I know He will help me walk through what's ahead. And I'm greatly comforted to know I’m covered by the prayers of so many!
As I have taken some quiet, restful days to spend time with the Lord this week, it has been precious! His Spirit has ministered fresh grace and strength to my heart.
"I am standing in absolute stillness, silent before the one I love, waiting as long as it takes for Him to rescue me. Only God is my Savior, and He will not fail me. For He alone is my safe place. His wrap-around presence always protects me as my champion defender. There's no risk of failure with God! So why would I let worry paralyze me, even when troubles multiply around me? God's glory is all around me! His wrap-around presence is all I need, for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength. Join me, everyone! Trust only in God every moment! Tell Him all your troubles and pour out your heart-longings to Him. Believe me when I tell you - He will help you! Pause in His presence." Psalm 62:5-8 TPT
I love this passage about the wrap-around presence of God. We're in the spring season in South Africa right now. One day the weather can be lovely and warm - and the next day it can be quite chilly and cool. On a recent day when I was spending time with the Lord, I was feeling cold. I was wrapped in a warm fleece blanket - very cozy and comforting. I thought of this verse - and imagined God's sweet presence being wrapped around me like the blanket. I could almost feel His warm, tender embrace. I know He is holding me, carrying me right now.
There are many things that I've missed on our unexpected journey. My friendship with Floyd - especially being able to talk with him. I miss his encouragement and support. I miss his counsel and wisdom. But one of the things I miss the most are his big bearhugs. I'm probably not the only one to miss those because he was always warm and loving in giving his big father's hugs to everyone. I was thinking about this as I read about the Lord's "wrap-around" presence. Floyd can't hug me right now - but the Lord can!
God has helped me persevere on our journey. He has been so faithful. When the doctor explained to me the other day what I may be facing in my treatment in the coming time, it was daunting! But God has reminded me of His goodness to me. He has never left me. He has been with me 24/7. He never slumbers or sleeps. He is only a whisper away. He is closer than the air I breathe. It puts things back in perspective when I remember who He is! I look to Him for fresh strength and fresh courage.
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills - from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1,2
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16
"I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8
“The eternal god is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Deuteronomy 33:27
Come what may in the weeks ahead, I'm grateful I can rest in His "wrap-around" presence. He is with me!