Careful of the Little Things

I seem to be plagued by birds recently.  For some reason, there are more of them around than normal......lots more!  The pigeons have been getting into places they shouldn't be.  When I try to scare them away, they often dive bomb my head.  I've had flashbacks to that old movie "The Birds."  It's been crazy and annoying.

A few days ago I was having lunch, and there in my house was a sparrow!  It was hopping all over the place.  I got a broom to try and encourage it towards the door, but it just kept moving around the living room, dining room, and kitchen.  Often it hid under the furniture.  I opened the doors wide so it could see its path to the outside......and it just hopped right by the open doors.  It was funny, but not funny.  I chased it around the room for an hour before it finally decided to go out the open door.  I was exhausted.  That little bird had given me a run for my money.  If anyone had filmed it all it would have been hilarious.  Birds - aarrgh!!!

As I often do about things that happen in my life, I was reflecting on this later. The thought came to me that "little" things in life can cause big problems!  That little bird brought tremendous frustration.  I just couldn't get it out of the house.  I was reminded that a few days earlier the Lord had spoken to me about a little thing in my life that was robbing me of finding joy in the Lord.  I could easily have overlooked it if the Lord hadn't brought it to my attention.  I was able to deal with it, and have my joy restored.  The situation with the bird spoke to me of how I need to always be on guard against little things that can become problems if I don't get rid of them.  It was a timely, good, visual reminder of an important spiritual lesson!

"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.  But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities."  Luke 16:10

"A little leaven leavens the whole lump."  Galatians 5:9 

"And the Lord said, "if you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree," 'be uprooted and planted in the sea' and it would obey you."  Luke 17:6

Little things can be very important! 

Yesterday marked 15 years since we arrived to make our home in South Africa.  The years have flown by!  It truly is home. I've been asked numerous times since Floyd passed away if I will continue to stay here.  I've learned to "never say never," but I have no plans to move.  When we prayed about moving here, we felt we would live out our life here.  That has already happened for Floyd!  My friends are here - many dear ones who have walked with me through the hardest season of my life.  The All Nations Cape Town family is here - who have been so helpful and supportive.

Through the years, Floyd always said that if anything happened to him he wanted to provide a home for me.  That happened!  We have a lovely home here that I'm so grateful for.  It is truly "home" for me with many sweet memories of our life together.  I have wonderful neighbors who keep watch over me.  I have good doctors for my ongoing cancer battle.  My son lives here and is very caring and helpful.  I feel safe, secure, and at peace.  

And I'm very grateful for the 15 years we've been here.  We arrived with just the 2 of us - no team, very limited financial support - but with a clear sense of God's calling and direction.  God has been so incredibly good to us!  I have been thanking Him for His tender care and faithfulness!  In spite of the many trials on the "unexpected journey" of recent years, I can look back over these 15 years and see them as good because of God's goodness.

I shared with a friend yesterday that I still have moments when grief hits my heart.  She described them as "jolts."  I have walked through grief in losing loved ones before.  I have helped and counseled others who have experienced grief.  I have read books and articles about grief.  But none of that prepared me for losing the 54 year long "love of my life."  I miss Floyd dearly, and it still seems hard to believe that he's gone.  For 5+ years he was "over the mountain" in the hospital.  He wasn't at home, but he wasn't gone.  His being gone - gone to be with Jesus - is a whole new reality, a completely different emotion.

Someone said to me recently that "grief is love wearing a heavy coat."  That simple sentence is an apt description of what this grief feels like.  I feel the heavy coat of loss.

But, right along with that, I have to add that I feel God's grace, love, comfort, strength, and healing day by day, moment by moment.  I sense His presence with me more than ever before.  He has been so kind and gracious.  He has wiped away my tears with sweet memories.  And He has strengthened me for facing each new day on my own.  I'm so grateful!  It has been an adjustment to go through pronoun changes from we to I - from us to me.....but, if I forget, the plural still applies because God is right with me!

"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your god is with you."  Joshua 1:9

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you."  Isaiah 41:10

"Do not fear.....He will not leave you or forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Psalm 23:4

I'm not sure what my future holds, but I hope it will include many more years of living here in South Africa.  It's home.