I'm Thankful
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My heart was quite tender in the days leading up to the Celebration of Life. A very emotional time for me. I asked the Lord how to position my heart in preparation for it. He sweetly reminded me of what He's spoken to me all along our unexpected journey - I need to be thankful! Being thankful, entering into praise and worship, is where I find strength for whatever I face.
So I did that. I spoke out my thankfulness to the Lord in the midst of a tender week. I'd like to share a few of the things I'm thankful for.
· I'm thankful for 54 years of married life with Floyd.
· I'm thankful that Floyd was my best friend, and the love of my life!
· I'm thankful that God led our lives together when we were very young so that we could experience so much of life together.
· I'm thankful for all the unique adventures we had in Afghanistan, Amsterdam, America, and Africa.
· I'm thankful for God's faithful provision to us over all the years. There were times when we hardly had a nickel (or rand) to our name, but God always took care of us.
· I'm thankful for the Godly heritage and examples we had from Floyd's parents and my mom.
· I'm thankful for the firm foundations built into our lives in our years in Youth With A Mission.
· I'm thankful for our daughter, Misha; our son, Matthew; and our grandchildren, Kezia and Luke. They bring such joy to me.
· I'm thankful for our whole family. They have been beside me on our unexpected journey.
· I'm thankful for my sweet friends who have helped carry me on this journey.
· I'm thankful for the All Nations family who have loved us, prayed for us, and have now honored my dear husband.
· I'm thankful for God's grace, strength, wisdom, guidance, and provision every single day of our unexpected journey. He has been SO faithful!
· I'm thankful for healing miracles along the way.
· I'm thankful to be alive!
· I'm thankful for all God taught me on our unexpected journey. He didn't "waste" a single minute of it!
· I'm thankful for the home God provided for us here in South Africa. I have a haven in this tender time.
· I'm thankful that God is gently carrying me in this time of grief.
· I'm thankful that we can remember, celebrate, and honor my "gentle giant."
I could keep going for pages and pages. I have so much to be thankful for! As I positioned my heart to be thankful, the Holy Spirit poured a healing balm into my tender heart. With every tear that falls - a prayer of thankfulness is also poured out. God has been so good to me!
"Give thanks in all circumstances." 1 Thessalonians 5:18
"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds." Psalm 9:1
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." Psalm 106:1
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that openly profess His name." Hebrews 13:15
The Celebration was beautiful! I was so touched by the love, honor, and tributes for Floyd. They meant a lot to me and our family. I just wished Floyd could have heard them all. He would have been so blessed. Who knows? - maybe he could hear them. I don't know how it works between here and heaven. :)
Many of the worship songs during the Celebration were ones that Floyd loved - including the opening one...."Jesus loves me this I know." Floyd often led out in that when he spoke.
Our family watched it together, and chatted by FaceTime about it. I wish we could have been together for it. My son and I were in Cape Town; my daughter and granddaughter in the US; and my grandson in New Zealand.
I have to say that it felt very surreal. Here I was sitting in the home we renovated to "grow old" in.....sitting on our couch.....and watching a memorial for my husband half a world away on our TV. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of a scenario like this a few years back. I pinched myself to make sure it was real.
I cried buckets of tears, but they were sweet ones. I was so very blessed by all the expressions of love. The Celebration was a beautiful combination of honoring Floyd, worshipping Jesus, and being challenged to "finish the race of reaching the least, the last, and the lost." Quite a few have told me they made fresh commitments to that challenge. That's what Floyd would have wanted to happen at his memorial service!
Although my heart continues to be tender, and I have tears at unexpected times all through the day - the Celebration helped bring a measure of closure. I'm grateful for that - I needed it. Even though I've grieved for 5 years, I think, in some ways, I held a lot in because I still needed to care for Floyd and I was battling my own sickness. Also, God kept encouraging me to ask for miracles (while I told Him I trusted His wisdom)......so I didn't want to grieve fully losing him yet. Once it was final, the grief hit my heart full force. The Celebration helped bring some healing to my heart.
A number of people included me in their tributes. That meant so much to me and to my family. Floyd and I always worked so closely together. Without him, I feel like a part of me has been cut off.....something is missing. It was very thoughtful of the different ones to recognize and honor that. It blessed me.
There was a short video tribute to Floyd. Included in it is a clip from a 1973 CBS television interview in Kabul. I had never seen it until after Floyd passed away. It was fun to see him in his younger years!
"Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:10
I’m so thankful to everyone who was there in person or online to honor my dear husband! It meant the world to me.