Faith Isn't Born in a Day
/I wish you a blessed, happy New Year! I sent a greeting to some friends and family - "Our hope is not in the new year, but in the One who makes all things new." That is my hope, prayer, belief, and firm foundation that I'm standing on as I move into 2022. My hope is in Him.
December was quite the month! I was doing my best to enter into the season and celebrate all that it means. I was continuing to grieve the loss of my dear husband. I was having to pay daily attention to the treatment for my ongoing cancer battle. I was doing my best to be careful with Covid Omicron raging all around. And my home was threatened by 2 fires. It was definitely a dramatic closure to 2021!
As I processed my heart during this time, a family member mentioned that it was hard to close out the last year that Floyd was in. It seems that every direction I look, I see things to "miss" about him. I'm sure that will keep happening for a while. One day when I was feeling particularly sad, the Lord reminded me of the verse "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Jesus understands my sorrow. That brought strength to my heart.
Grieving is an unusual thing. It hasn't been like I thought it would be, but God has been walking with me through the grief. I think for a long time I was just needing to survive and endure all that was happening. Now that Floyd is gone and I no longer need to care for him, I think my heart and emotions are fully feeling the grief and loss.
I am truly hoping that 2022 will be a turning point into a better direction! Someone in our family said we have 365 new mercies we can count on in this new year. I like that! His mercies are new every morning.
Some days I feel weary, and feel like I can't handle much more.....but I'm grateful to know that God will never give us more than we can bear. Jesus is right with me, and is helping me day by day. I stand on and rest in His faithfulness. He has been with me each step of our long unexpected journey, and He hasn't gone on vacation. I am continuing to hold tight to His hand.
"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14
"He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him." Psalm 91:15
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
"Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
I am so very grateful for the strong foundation of the Word that assures me/us that He will be with us for everything we face! Those verses are lifelines when the storm rages around us.
In one of my times with the Lord this week, I was reflecting on a verse in Genesis 22:8 about Abraham where he said to Isaac "My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb."
I stopped to think about what faith it took for Abraham to say that. God asked him to sacrifice his son on the altar. He moved forward in obedience, and yet he knew God was going to provide a sacrifice. Faith like that of Abraham isn't born in a day. It was the result of years of walking with God and seeing His faithfulness. He had a firm foundation in his relationship with God in order to believe God would provide that day.
It reminded me of a book I read about 3 years ago in the midst of our unexpected journey. A friend gave it to me, and I felt drawn immediately to read it. I actually read it more than once. Anonymous - Jesus' hidden years and yours by Alicia Britt Chole. It probably impacted me more than any other book I read on our journey.
The message of the book is that God took the first 30 years of Jesus' life to prepare His Son for the 3 years of active ministry. The 30 years weren't wasted. They weren't a time of just hanging in limbo waiting. They were crucial preparation for what was to come. "The decisions we make in difficult places today are greatly the product of decisions we made in the unseen places of our yesterdays."
Reading the book prompted me to look back over my life before the years on our unexpected journey. I could see time and time again how God had taught me, guided me, and prepared me for what I was walking through. He didn't just throw me into the deep end. Lesson by lesson He taught me to swim - first in shallow water, then in deep water, and then in stormy, treacherous waters. He was so faithful! "Trials do not prepare us for what's to come as much as they reveal what we've done with our lives up to this point."
I have had a newfound gratefulness for God's faithfulness. He took the first 68 years of my life to get me ready for the hardest thing I'd ever walk through. I couldn't have made it without that preparation. Lessons that began all the way back to my childhood helped prepare me for what I've walked through, and am still walking through, on our journey. How good God is!!
"The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness." 2 Peter 3:9
"But as for me, I will look to the Lord. I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7
"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him." Lamentations 3:25
"If God's presence has led us into trying places, is there really any other place we would rather be?" When I face a new hard time, I try to remember this - I'm just where He's allowed me to be. And I can trust His goodness and faithfulness in knowing He has prepared me for where I am. Oh how grateful I am for that!