A New Season
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Wednesday was a tender day for me. Six years ago on Feb. 23, 2016 Floyd was awoken during the early morning hours with a horrible pain in his left leg. It came out of nowhere. That was the beginning of our very unexpected journey that put him in the hospital for 5 years, 3 months, and 6 days before he went to meet Jesus. Nothing was ever the same after that morning.
It still seems so surreal to me. I have moments when it continues to seem unbelievable that our lives could be so suddenly and inexplicably turned upside down. I am grateful that Floyd is no longer suffering. It was such a hard time for him.
I am also so grateful for all the precious ones who prayed for us during those years. Those prayers helped carry us along the journey.
All through the long journey, I had regular times of personal communion. It was life giving for me to remember day by day what Christ had done for me. I had some very precious moments all alone in times of communion.
I read something in a book recently about communion that expressed what I hadn't been able to put into words:
"Come to this table, not because you must but because you may. Not because you are strong, but because you are weak. Come, not because any goodness of your own gives you a right to come, but because you need mercy and help. Come, because you love the Lord a little and would like to love Him more." (from Book of Dreams, a novel by Davis Bunn).
I'm so grateful for all Jesus has done for me, for us. The communion table was a wonderful time of remembering and thanking Him.
"Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35
"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." 2 Corinthians 13:14
"For everything there is a season...a time to be born, and a time to die...a time to weep, and a time to laugh...a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
"He changes times and seasons." Daniel 2:21
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18, 19
God's strength, grace and presence have been close during this tender week – I’m so grateful. I've sensed that I'm entering into a new season. I don't understand exactly what that means - and I'm still grieving the loss of my life companion. But I hold tightly to the Lord's hand as I move forward into all that He has for me. I trust Him. I trust His plans and purposes for the future. He has been so faithful to me on our long unexpected journey. I know He'll be faithful with whatever is ahead.
There are times when things don't go the way we had hoped. Disappointment enters in. We can become sad, even burdened down by unfulfilled hopes. It's happened to me at times - and I'm sure it's happened to many of you.
During a recent time of disappointment, I was reminded of this verse from Proverbs 17:22 - "A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones." I didn't want my disappointed, broken spirit to dry me up! I realized that the "medicine" I needed for my disappointment was to turn my heart in worship to the Lord. I needed to be "merry" in Him. I needed to rest in the joy of the Lord that is my help and strength.
As I changed my disappointment focus to worshipping the Lord - everything changed. My attitude of choosing worship helped heal my heart. The clouds of disappointment lifted. My perspective changed from me to the Lord.
Many medical doctors have acknowledged that a positive outlook even helps with physical healing. My oncologist once told me that hope and a positive outlook can be the difference between surviving or not making it. Medicine helps, but it's not enough. What's in our hearts impacts us in every way.
"Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall." Psalm 55:22
"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
Joy and sorrow and disappointment can intermingle in our days. Having a merry heart, worshipping, and being joyful can make all the difference in our outlook. We may not be born optimists, but we can "choose worship" and let it overcome the disappointments we face.