Remembering My Gifts

In this season of giving gifts, I've been meditating on all the wonderful gifts I've been given by the Lord.  I read a devotional thought entitled "remember when."  The idea was to think of times when something special happened, when God answered a prayer, or when God directed us in important decisions.  I started making a list - and realized it could go on for pages and pages.  Oh my - so many wonderful gifts from the Lord!  If I boxed them up one by one to put under the tree - they would take up the whole room!!  God has been so good to me - way back to when I was a little girl.

There were so many "remember when" times that God met me during the years that Floyd was sick.  I could not have survived those years without God's love, grace, strength, wisdom, and encouragement.  I had so many decisions to make that were overwhelming.  And just going to the hospital to be with Floyd time after time for years was like climbing Mount Everest.  And yet, each and every time I needed help - God met me.  How wonderful He was to me.

And there have been at least two times, probably more, that God saved my life.  I was going through massive cancer treatment during the same years that I was overseeing Floyd's care.  Honestly - I don't know how I survived all that.  But God!!!  He carried me even when I wasn't aware of how much He was carrying me.  It was usually only later - long after the events - that I realized how much God had helped me.  The fact that I'm here to write about this is incredible.  God has been faithful beyond measure to me.

This Christmas I am celebrating all these "gifts."  There are so many "remember when" testimonies of God's marvelous help and grace.  I'm so grateful!

"The Lord is good.  A stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him."  Nahum 1:7

"The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him."  Psalm 32:10

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."  Psalm 126:3

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

In this season of gifts - I found it life giving to take a few minutes to remember and thank the Lord for His many, many gifts to me.  He's the ultimate giver.

Maybe you'd like to join me in taking time to "remember when" God has met you in special ways - with comfort, with wisdom and guidance, with provision, with healing, with sweet friendship, with encouragement - the list is endless.  I'm sure you have received many precious gifts from Him too  What a wonderful God He is!

Our Lifeguard Walks on Water

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with those who have suffered in the Turkey/Syria earthquake.  I can't begin to imagine the horror of it all.  Some stories have begun to come out, however, that are very encouraging.  Both  journalists and aid workers have said that many of those rescued reported having a "man in white" come to them with food and water.  Some said that he lifted the concrete off of them to protect them.  I worshipped and thanked the Lord when I read these reports. 

It made me think of all the instances when I knew the Lord was with me during these recent difficult years - especially when Floyd was in the hospital.  I never saw a "man in white," but I felt the Lord's presence with me time and time again.  There were a couple times when I felt His loving arms around me - supporting me, caring for me, strengthening me.  I couldn't have made it on my own.

I'll never forget the day early on when Floyd was in ICU and was going to have surgery.  The doctor said he probably wouldn't survive the surgery, but without it he would surely die.  I told the surgeon I was praying for a miracle.  Hours later - much longer than the surgery was supposed to be - the surgeon came out and told our family.  "You might have had your miracle!  When we went in to operate, the things that had been viewed on the scan and MRI were no longer there.  There was nothing for us to do."  They called in the radiologist and asked him if he could explain what had happened.  They thought he had messed up in taking the scans. 

That was just one of so many experiences of seeing God's hand at work.  On days when I'm asking for fresh answers to prayer, I find it helpful to remember what He's done in the past.  Hearing of the "man in white" from the earthquake rescues is also a wonderful reminder than God is with us in our difficulties and intervenes in impossible ways.  We're never alone!

"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job.  Instead, be glad that you are in the thick of what Christ experienced.  This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner."  1 Peter 4:12,13  The Message

Honestly, I have a hard time thinking of how my suffering relates to the suffering that Christ endured.  But I do know that I have a choice of how to go through my suffering - moaning, groaning and complaining......or keeping my eyes on Him and worshipping Him.  My choice makes all the difference! 

"What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?"  Romans 8:31

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63:8 

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8 

"We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed."  2 Corinthians 4:7-9

Not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed.  Yes, we go through hard times - trials, sickness, weakness, suffering.....but it's not a defeat.  God is always, always, always with us to help us through those times.  It's good to call to mind how He's helped us in the past!!

The last few days the words enduring and perseverance have been in my thoughts almost constantly.  I looked up their definitions.  Enduring is to last over a long period of time.  Perseverance is to continue in spite of difficulty or delay.  I guess I can relate to both!!  It's easy in a time of prayer or worship to commit to persevering - but the day-to-day reality of it is something very different. 

I'm coming up to 9 years of battling cancer.  And 20 months after I began that journey, Floyd was struck down and began his long silent journey.  I remember standing by his bed in ICU on day 3 praying with him just before the doctor was going to do a procedure to slow his heart that was beating much too fast.  We committed our lives and the future into God's hands.

The doctor told me that the treatment might affect Floyd in an unusual way for some hours.  He was right!  Floyd started talking about things that made no sense.  April, a dear ICU nurse, was with me at Floyd's bed while he explained that our 50th wedding anniversary was the next year.  To celebrate, we were going on a round-the-world trip to 50 countries!  That sounded like an absolute nightmare to me, but Floyd was very excited and continued to talk about it.  That was my last conversation with him.  I guess he was a visionary as long as he had a voice to speak.

A few hours later his heart stopped.  He was then in a coma - and then silent, never to speak again.  I then began a journey of enduring, persevering......through each day, sometimes through just the next hour.  It was intense as his organs began to shut down, and various things attacked his body.  I remember reading this quote - "When you feel like you're drowning in life, don't worry.  Your lifeguard walks on water."  I clung to that lifeguard minute by minute.  And have continued to do so as I cared for Floyd and continued my cancer battle.  There were definitely moments when I felt like I was drowning, but Jesus held my hand and kept me afloat.

I've never been a quitter.  When I start something, I always want to finish it - be it something big or small.  But enduring and persevering through these last years has seemed impossible at times.  But God!!  His Word has strengthened and encouraged me time and time again!  Oh how precious is the Word of God!

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him."  James 1:12

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12

"We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."  Romans 3:3-5

"Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus."  Hebrews 12:1,2

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James1:2-4 

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised."  Hebrews 10:36

"If we endure, we will also reign with Him."  2 Timothy 2:12

"We count as blessed those who have persevered.  You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.  The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."  James 5:11 

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:9

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I said to myself, 'the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' "  Lamentations 3:22-24

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.  Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways."  Proverbs 4:25,26 

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."  Isaiah 46:4

I've shared lots of scriptures because these are ones that have helped me endure and persevere.  There are many others!  There is strength to be found in reading His word - clinging to it - as we walk through a difficult time.  His word and His presence with us, holding our right hand, will get us through!

I read somewhere - "Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other."  I have faced countless short races, and I continue to do so.  God's grace, strength, love, wisdom, and help has gotten me through.  He has helped me to endure and persevere - and He will help you too!!!