Our Unexpected Journey

My big gift this past weekend was I got to go see Floyd!  I hadn't seen him in almost 10 weeks, so it was very special.  I think I looked very different to him with a cap on my bald head and a mask that the Dr. required me to wear.  Floyd stared and stared at me!! :)

He looks so much better than when I last saw him.  I think with not being there all the time, I could see the changes.  His coloring is good.  His eyes are bright and alert.  He seemed to be moving more - his head and arm.  He was much more attentive.  It's hard to describe, but he just looked more like himself.

So many of the carers have mentioned that it seems like Floyd wants to say something to them.  I so wish he could do that!  They've also said that if they look at their phone - he'll tap their chest to get their attention. :)  He doesn't want them distracted.

"The people of Benjamin are loved by the Lord and live in safety beside Him.  He surrounds them continuously and preserves them from every harm."  Deuteronomy 33:12  

Other versions say "the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders."

On days when I'm weak, I sometimes visualize myself being carried by the Lord on His shoulders......knowing He preserves me from harm.

"Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young, He spread His wings and caught them.  He carried them on His pinions."  Deuteronomy 32:11

When baby eagles are learning to fly, the mother "hovers" over them. When they're falling, before they learn their flying skills, she'll catch them and take them back to the safety of the nest.

God does that for us too.  There are times when we feel like we're falling. We don't know how to "fly" in the difficult situation we're in.  But God catches us!  He has faithfully "caught" me through so many difficult things on this unexpected journey.  He has never once, never ever once, let me fall.  There have been some frightening moments when I felt like I was falling, but God graciously caught me - put me back on a solid rock and steadied me.  The knowledge of that gives me such security.  He is always, always, always faithful - and good!

This Tuesday was my chemo day.  I start the chemo day each time with an appt. with my oncologist.  She immediately informed me today that the results of the CT scan I did last Fri. were not good.

The tumor has continued to grow.  It seems to be a fast growing tumor - much like 3 years ago.  The growth means that it is resistant to the kind of chemo I've been having as the chemo is not working.  I will need to switch to a different chemo.  Surgery may also been an option, and I'll need to do some new tests.  

Obviously I'm disappointed!  I was surprised by the results since the chemo seemed to help previously.  It looks like I'm still on the "one-day-at-a-time" journey to see what's ahead.  As one friend said, "the roller coaster continues!"

I read this verse a few days ago.  "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

We so often pray and seek "God's will" for situations in our life.  When I read this verse, I thought to myself - this is a "guidance trio."  For whatever we face, this is such a wonderful guideline for how to respond.

It was helpful to remember this as I got my news today!  As I committed it all to the Lord, I also heard His sweet voice remind me to keep my focus on Him and keep trusting Him.  My heart is responding with joy, prayer, thankfulness, and trust.

After this unexpected news, I've been processing a lot with the Lord.  I love how the Word speaks to my heart, and how His Spirit brings such comfort.  He is so faithful and knows just what we need!

"For everyone who keeps on asking (persistently), receives; and he who keeps on seeking (persistently), finds; and to him who keeps on knocking (persistently), the door will be opened."  Luke 11:10 Amplified

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us..."  Ephesians 3:20

" 'I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord."  Jeremiah 30:17

To those who know me, you'll know that I'm "persistent."  I don't give up on things.  So I am going to continue to persistently ask/seek/knock.  I can do this because God so wonderfully answers exceedingly and abundantly.  And I'm trusting that He will restore both Floyd and I to health - either here or with Him in heaven.  I know He has a plan.  I know He is 100% trustworthy.  I'm pressing in to Him for His plan.