Last Friday was a very special day for Floyd and me! A day we've thought about, dreamed about, and even made some plans for. But the way things are is not how we thought and planned.
Friday was our 50th wedding anniversary! That's a lot of years. I am so grateful for all these years with my gentle giant, my best friend in life. I couldn't have asked for a better partner for the journey of our marriage.
With our current situations, I was not even able to see Floyd. That was very sad to me! But I'm just too weak. I'll go see him in a while when I'm stronger. I want to "celebrate" by being with him and praying for our future.
Two years ago when we were in the U.S., Floyd had what my mom would have called a "bee in his bonnet." He was on a mission to buy me a gift for our 50th anniversary......which, remember, was still 2 years away. I think he may have thought that if anything happened to me - he wanted to have given me this gift. He'd been thinking about it and saving for it for years.
Never would we have dreamed of all that has happened - and that it would be his life that has hung in the balance for so long! But, clearly, the mission he was on to give me an early gift must have been placed in his heart by the Lord.
It was so very special to me that I had a gift from my sweetheart for our special day! He thought and planned ahead......with no knowledge of what would happen. I'm so touched by all this.
Paul Young, author of "The Shack," says that "love always leaves a significant mark." Floyd has made a huge "mark" in my life! I wouldn't be who I am today without him.
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Matthew 19:4-6
We're separated by a number of miles right now - Floyd in the hospital and I'm at home - but we are "one." Nothing can change that! I rejoice in my oneness with Floyd for 50 years! How good God has been to us!
Unfortunately Floyd has been miserable these last few days with increasing phlegm and eye irritation. He did have a lovely visit with 2 prayer warriors though. It was a precious time of sharing reports, singing, reading the Word, crying - sweet presence of the Lord! I'm so grateful when I get reports like this from the carers that visit with Floyd.
I have had a hard recovery from surgery. Feeling weak and in pain and ending up in the Emergency Room at the hospital for a few hours on Sunday night with an infection : (
In between procedures in the Emergency Room, I was looking at messages on my phone. I received this scripture from a friend - she didn't know what was happening:
Psalm 68:19,20.NAS "Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden-the God who is our salvation. God is to us a God of deliverances. And to God belong escapes from death."
I felt God was reminding me that He was watching out for me.
Another dear intercessor friend has had a sense that I would be facing a new level of challenge. She was praying for me on the weekend when I was at my lowest physically. I'm so encouraged at how the Lord reminds me that He's taking care of me, prompts people to pray, and speaks encouragement to my heart from the Word.
I feel weak, but also feel He keeps challenging me to find fresh courage in Him. I'm leaning into Him for that courage.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
I couldn't make it on my own strength and abilities, but He IS faithful!
Another hard thing this week is that I found out I need another surgery in a few weeks. It’s a follow on from the surgery I already had but that hadn't been explained to me before. It's only a "day ward" surgery, but it's general anesthesia. It was disheartening to hear that. The things that keep happening seem endless at times. The restarting of chemo will have to be pushed back.
I took a little while to let my heart settle, and then I needed to go to the Lord again about all this. Thankfully He's never surprised by things. This was one of those times when I needed to cry out "God help me!".
As I’m in bed most of the time, it's given me lots of time to talk to the Lord! A clear thought has been that we can't control all that happens to us, but something we can depend on is the Lord's peace within us! What a precious gift that is.
I've been pondering that there seem to be 2 things that stay "constant" when we ask for His help. As soon as I cry out "God help me," I also ask for His peace (which passes understanding). And right behind these comes a spontaneous thankfulness in my heart. I don't even have to stop and choose it - it flows from a peaceful heart.
Even when I get overwhelmed - when I don't understand some things - when I think "enough!" - God comes through in His faithfulness. I have to confess that I'm tired of all this. My body is weak and weary. So I find it really important to be honest and open in my prayers to Him. Keeping things bottled up opens the door to fear and confusion. But if I openly pour out my heart to Him, He can meet me. He's done that each day! He's not thrown off by our vulnerable, honest hearts.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6, 7
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful!" Colossians 3:15
I’m so thankful for His faithfulness!