During this past week of recovering from surgery Floyd has been on his own a lot. Some of the faithful Care Team are away right now. We have been praying for the sweet comfort of angels for Floyd during this time. One carer that was with him this week asked him if he prays a lot when he's on his own. He gave a very firm "yes" blink in response. I'm praying for mighty times of prayer for him!
Leading up to my surgery last Friday, I was so blessed by the messages of love & support that I received from all over the world. It was humbling. It seemed like there were prayers being lifted up in just about every time zone. So grateful for that!
And those prayers were answered! I had a sweet miracle. There was NO tumor. What had appeared to be one was scar tissue & adhesions. They had clumped together in a tumor-like mass. That was removed, and they had a good look around. There was NO malignancy. When I got the news post surgery, all I could do was thank the Lord. It was a TRUE “all clear” and I am so so grateful.
When I checked into the hospital the night before surgery, I had a surprise too. Of all the possible rooms in this fairly large hospital - I was placed in the room Floyd had been in 2 years ago after he was released from the 6 weeks in ICU. It was an uncanny deja vu moment. I lay in bed praying that night, thinking about the 2 year anniversary of Floyd becoming ill. I realized that this could all be sad/hard - or I could use it as an opportunity to thank the Lord for His goodness & faithfulness in all that has transpired since Floyd was in the same room. I chose the latter. As I did so, a glorious peace flooded my soul. It carried through with me into the surgery the next morning. In fact the surgeon and surgery nurse commented on how calm I was. I knew it was the peace of the Lord.
I’m still rejoicing in the good news!
The verse “my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19) has been echoing through my mind. He has been so faithful in doing that. My heart is full of worship for His goodness!
I learned an important lesson during the time of my surgery that I thought I'd share with you. All my life I've been taught that our walk with the Lord is a relationship. In that relationship, we talk with Him and He talks with us. He speaks to us in our mind and our heart. He speaks to us through the Word. He speaks to us through people around us. I find He often speaks to me through His creation. But the beauty is - He speaks to us!
When my surgeon first examined me and said "there's a spot here," it was such a shock after being given the "all clear" from the PET scan. It was, indeed, like a whiplash. As soon as I had a few minutes alone, I went to the Lord in prayer. I asked Him to help me understand, to give me His perspective. I felt very clearly that He spoke into my heart - "it's nothing. You're fine. It's okay."
That was encouraging until a couple days later when I did the CT scan and got the results that there was a tumor there. I immediately thought that my thinking the Lord had spoken to me must have just been wishful thinking on my part.
My response to all this was to give it all to the Lord, and affirm that I trust Him. Whatever was ahead, I knew He would help me. I spoke to Him through each and every day.......and many times in the night......"I trust you, Lord! I keep my eyes on you."
Fast forward to after the surgery, and the surgeon comes to tell me that "there was nothing there - just scar tissue and adhesions. You're fine. It's okay." You can imagine my response. As soon as I finished thanking the Lord......I realized I HAD heard Him speak into my heart these words! I just "assumed" I had heard wrong and that it was wishful thinking.
Well God and I had a long talk! I told Him I was sorry that I hadn't held onto what I felt He had said to me. Could I have been wrong? Yes, of course! But what I realized is that I shouldn't so quickly abandon what I felt He'd said. I should have simply told Him that I thought He said that to me, but that I would trust Him whatever the outcome.
It's been an important lesson for me to learn......and a good reminder of some of the principles of hearing the voice of God. Hearing God speak into our hearts is not some magic formula. As I said, it comes out of our walk with Him, our relationship with Him. I've heard Him speak into my heart since I was a young girl. My earliest memories of that are from when I was 4 or 5 years old. I've loved hearing His voice all my life. His voice is precious. I couldn't have made it for my 69 years of life without hearing His voice of love, affirmation, correction, direction - how wonderful it has been to hear Him speak into my heart.
I won't be so quick to discard what I think He's said in the future - regardless of what circumstances are saying. There are some other things that I think He's spoken to my heart. I'm going to hold on to them until He shows otherwise.
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27
"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." Jeremiah 33:3
"So is my word that goes out from my mouth. It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11
"Everyone who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock." Matthew 7:24
The Bible is filled with verses about God speaking to us. I'm so grateful for His wonderful voice. It is more precious than gold.
P.S. During this time I've been picturing myself in His care just like the picture I have used for this blog depicts. I'm staying tucked in close to "Aslan."