Never Alone

From the first day of Floyd becoming ill to his going to be with Jesus, I missed him every day.  Once he was no longer suffering, a huge weight was lifted off of me.  I think somehow way back in my mind I thought it would be easier.  But I soon found that that wasn't the case.  I continue to miss my gentle giant so much.  He was not only my best friend - he was my partner in ministry for our 54 years of married life.  We were a team, and now half the team was gone.

I've recently been doing some home repairs.  Normally I would lean into Floyd for that - or just leave it to him completely.  But now it's just me - I have to make those decisions, and deal with the workmen.

I've also faced some very stressful situations in recent months.  In the past I would have talked and prayed with Floyd about those things.  I would have loved to have his counsel and wisdom.

I'm grateful for family and friends - they're a help, but it's different.  Missing my other half is a unique kind of aloneness.  It's hard to describe, but I'm sure many of you reading this have experienced it and understand what I'm talking about.

There are times in my aloneness when I can almost reach out and touch the presence of the Lord.  It's so real!  But there are other times when I don't sense His nearness at all.  I've learned when I sense His closeness to express my gratitude.  When I don't sense Him with me, I speak out the truth in the Word of His nearness and stand on that.  I declare that I'm NOT alone!  I know God is with me and helping me whether I feel it or not.

"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord."  Psalm 112:7

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

"Behold, I am with you always."  Matthew 28:20

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."  Hebrews 13:5

"The joy of the Lord is your strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

I love how Alfred Lord Tennyson expressed it - "Closer is He than breathing and nearer than hands and feet."

This month marks 20 years that I've been in South Africa.  When Floyd and I prayed about moving here, we felt this would be our final home - that we'd live out our lives here.  I never dreamed I'd be doing that alone.  But, thankfully, I'm not alone! God is with me every day, every hour, every minute, every second.  "For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is His name."  Isaiah 54:5

Whatever aloneness you may feel - God is WITH you!  You are not alone.