Grieve Well

My last post I wrote on the 5th anniversary of Floyd going to be with Jesus. I figured it would be a tender day, and it was.  A few days later marked 59 years since Floyd and I got married.  I looked at photos and thought back to that special day.  When we make the commitment "for better, for worse - in sickness and in health" we have no idea how that will be played out over the years!

Going through these 2 special days has made me think again about grief.  I get asked frequently how I've faced it and what I've learned.  I thought I'd take this opportunity to share a bit.

Grief is a strange thing.  It's out of our control.  I can remember Floyd often saying that we must "grieve well.  We have to grieve the old, to make way for the new."  It's a simple, but profound statement.  Grief doesn't disappear if we ignore it.  We have to grieve when there is a loss of any kind in our lives.  Loss is disorienting, and being able to grieve helps bring healing.

One thing about grief that is consistent - there is no time frame for the grief.  It's as individual as we are.  Some are "done and dusted" with their grief in a few months or a year.  Others grieve for many years.  There's no rule, no measurement for grief.  It's a personal journey to walk through.

Grief leaves an emptiness, a hollow ache deep in our hearts.  It's like a wound that doesn't close right away.  We may become accustomed to carrying the weight of grief, but it doesn't go away.  You don't move on - you just live on with the loss.  You learn to live with both love and loss.

There's no timeline or right way to grieve.  It's not something to be hidden.  It's not a weakness.  It's not something to be ashamed of.  And how much or how long we grieve is not a measure of how much we loved.

I find that I can go for months without the heaviness of grief - and then, out of the blue, it's hits me again.  Over time the pain subsides.  Memories take over - it's lovely to savor them.  And when the grief comes again, I let my heart process it.

I think I've "grieved well" as Floyd spoke about.  I've grieved the old, and I look forward to all that God has for me in the future.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  Matthew 5:4

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me: your rod and your staff they comfort me."  Psalm 23:4

"You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book."  Psalm 56:8

Whatever loss you may be facing, take time to grieve well.  Grieving the old will make way for the new that God has for you.  He cares, He comforts, and He is so faithful!