Grief is a Process

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends!  Our family always loved Thanksgiving.  There was none of the pressure of all the Christmas things - it was just family and good food.  I miss the yummy Thanksgiving food!  After the nice meal, my Texas family would play American football together in a park.  The McClung family often liked to go to a movie together.  Whatever we did - it was always a fun family day.

I love special days like Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.  But now - these special days bring a bit of sadness too.  I miss Floyd more on these days.  I realize that what brings me sadness and grief does so because it once brought me so much fun and joy.  I'm grateful for all the fun and joy during our 54 years of married life.

Grief is definitely a process.  It hurts a lot of the time - often when I least expect it.  I don't want to feel the grief and pain - but I try and keep it in perspective like I shared above.  It's because of the good that I hurt now.  Grief doesn't pay any mind to time.  It comes when it comes, and I have to navigate my way through it.  I've lost family members and friends before - but it's been a whole new journey in losing my partner, my best friend, my gentle giant.  I continue to learn through the grief.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  Matthew 5:4

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  Romans 12:15

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  Psalm 73:26

I'm so grateful for the Lord's comfort, grace, nearness, and healing of the loss.  He is faithful in every season.

He Names the Stars

The complications that I’ve been having from my cancer have gotten worse.  After consulting with the team of doctors that care for me, we have decided on a course of radiology therapy.  Obviously that is daunting for me, but… 

One evening recently, I went outside to watch the International Space Station fly overhead.  It was quite amazing.  It moved so fast, but was visible for 6 minutes.  I also loved seeing all the stars - millions of them shining so brightly.  The planet Jupiter was incredibly bright and seemed so close.

As I observed all this, I felt the Lord comforting my heart that heaven is so close by - He is so close by!  It was a beautiful reassurance of God's presence and closeness.

"Praise Him, sun and moon;  Praise Him, all stars of light!  Praise Him, highest heavens."  Psalm 148:3,4

"Look up into the heavens.  Who created all the stars?  He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name."  Isaiah 40:26

"He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them.  Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite."  Psalm 147:4,5

The One who knows the stars by name also knows every detail of our lives.  He is with us and He is for us.  He is always working for good in the things we face.  He is with us each and every day.  He is so faithful!