He Provides Lavishly

For days I have been meditating on God being mindful of every little need we have.  I read an old devotional that I came across - from "Our Daily Bread" in Jan. 1994.  I'm going to quote it:

"Pastor Roy S. Nicholson told of a time when he had no money to buy food.  Determined to trust God for his needs and not tell anyone, he and his wife presented their case to the Lord in prayer.

The next morning he set the table for breakfast, confident that the Lord would provide something to eat.  Just then a boy from their Sunday school came to the house with a sack of flour and some milk.  Tears welled up in the pastor's eyes.  No sooner had he left than "Granny" Turner appeared at the door carrying a large serving tray loaded with Virginia ham, eggs, grits and gravy, hot biscuits, butter, jelly, and coffee.  Nicholson was filled with praise to God."

I actually teared up when I read it.  God didn't just provide - He provided lavishly.  A beautiful feast!

It reminded me of a couple occasions in our lives.  I'm pretty sure I've shared them before, but I want to do so again.  I was blessed afresh as I thought back to these times of how God met our needs. 

We had spoken at an evening service at a church.  Everyone was gone, and we were sitting in our vehicle (a YWAM car) in an empty parking lot in the cold of winter.  We weren't sure what to do.  We had no money.  We were low on petrol, had nowhere to stay that night, and hadn't eaten dinner.  We were praying together, and discussing how we could sleep in the car.

Just then a car pulled up to the driver's side of the car, rolled down its window, and handed Floyd some money.  The man said he was sitting at home watching the news, when he felt the Lord told him to come back to the church parking lot and give us money.  The 3 of us wept at God's wonderful provision.

The other time that came back so clearly to my mind was in Afghanistan.  We had a house ministry reaching out to the hippies of that day.  At the time we had about 20-25 young people in the house.  I set the table for dinner.  We had some guests from the expat community joining us that evening.  I told Floyd that we were eating the last of the food we had.  I had no idea what we would do for breakfast.  We had a wonderful evening of sharing and fellowship.  We had a combination of non-believers and new believers in the house.  It was wonderful to share testimonies of God's goodness.

Afterwards, as I was clearing the table, I found some money under the plate of one of our guests.  I had tears as I told Floyd we would be able to buy food for breakfast!

Honestly, I could go on and on sharing wonderful examples like these of how God has provided over and over and over, in so many different ways, in our lives.  He is a wonderful, generous, caring Father.  He knows every detail of our lives - and He provides in detail.  He is so good!!  He longs for us to share our hearts, our needs, our struggles with Him.  He is always listening, and always working to help us.  And always providing!!

"Abraham said, 'My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb.' "  Genesis 22:8

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  Hebrews 13:5

"Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  Matthew 6:33

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Philippians 4:6

"My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19

"Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."  Psalm 34:10

"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."  Psalm 37:25

Amen, amen!!  We can bring every need, every care, every problem, every burden to Him.  He cares.  Even as I've been writing this, something came up and I needed to stop and talk to the Lord.  I'm so grateful that I can take every detail to Him.  What a wonderful God He is!

He Encamps Around Us

In the midst of an emergency last week, I thought "I bet some people are praying for me."  We had a very close call with a fire.  It started in a field just down the road, and with the very high winds we had it spread incredibly fast.  

It was at the edge of our village in minutes - and continuing to spread.  The firemen evacuated some of those on the edge.  I began throwing things into bags - with the smoke getting really thick inside the house.

I left to go be at a friend's house who was out of the smoke field.  My son, who was helping me, went back to water our roof and help the firemen who were pulling hoses through our property onto the mountain.  The fire was halfway down the mountain by then.

Thankfully, it was still daylight and the water bombing helicopters arrived soon.  They're amazing!  They beat back the fire before they had to leave as it got dark.  I returned home shortly after - very, very grateful that I had a home to return to!!

There were flareups during the night, but there were lots of firemen on the mountain taking care of them. 

Whew!  So much adrenaline!  I'm so, so thankful to be safe - no homes lost - no injuries. 

"For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."  Psalm 91:11

"The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and delivers them."  Psalm 34:7

I'm grateful for the angels that were watching over us and Iā€™m grateful for the prayers that are prayed for me.

Don't Let Disappointment Stick

A few days ago I had a disappointment.  It wasn't some earth-shattering thing.  It was actually quite small, but none-the-less it stuck in my heart.  A day or so later when I realized it was still impacting me, I knew I had to deal with it.  I've learned through the years that even the smallest disappointment, if un-dealt with, can cause big problems.

It's so important to give the disappointment to the Lord.  It frees Him to act, to intervene on our behalf.  It's when He can take lemons and make lemonade.  He can bring good out of a bad or difficult situation because of His creative ability.  We shouldn't pout, or bargain, or threaten.....we just simply turn over the disappointment to Him.

Once I've given my disappointment to the Lord, I know I have to put it behind me - sometimes easier said than done!  I haven't really given it to the Lord if I keep dwelling on it.  I have found that God uses my disappointments - small, medium sized, and large - to help me grow.  Simply put - our disappointments are God's appointments.  He'll use the disappointment for good in our lives.  And once I've given the disappointment to the Lord, I must choose to be content in the situation - even if nothing ever changes.  Again, not always easy!

If I've responded in a wrong way to my disappointment, I know I need to repent.  It frees me from hanging on to the disappointment.  We'll never be completely free of disappointments in life, but we can be free from the burden and weight of them as we respond right to them.  I've been learning all this afresh these last few days!!  Good lessons for me. 

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life."  Proverbs 13:12

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:11-13

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?  Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God."  Psalm 42:11

I guess I still wish the disappointment hadn't been there - that things had gone a different way, but I'm "free" of it.  It's not stuck in my heart!  I'm so very grateful that the Lord helps us with the disappointments in life.  He is good and faithful - in every little detail!

Not Getting Tangled

A few days ago I experienced something that is one of those "learning from life" type of things.  Two friends were helping me take down my Christmas tree.  We were taking the strands of lights off the tree.  The strands here are in large circles rather than one long strand, which makes it a bit more complicated to maneuver.  With just a couple quick, wrong moves - we had a tangled mess!!  It seemed to take forever to get everything untangled.  Oh my - it was frustrating.

As I thought about this experience, it made me think of how quickly we can make one or two quick wrong choices and end up with a "tangled" mess in our lives.  It's so important to ask God's help and guidance for even the simplest things we face each day.  I have been bringing my everyday activities to the Lord afresh and asking for His help and guidance.  It's too easy for me to make mistakes on my own.  I need God's wisdom!

I also have some bigger needs I'm bringing to the Lord too that I need His help with.  I find myself just "talking" to Him all through the day.  I'm so grateful that He listens. :)  It makes me feel secure to know that the One who holds the universe is also the One who is holding me.  He's right by my side, He's guiding me, protecting me, providing for me, strengthening me, helping me, and keeping me from getting tangled up!!

"Let not your heart be troubled."  John 14:1

"Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on."  Luke 12:22

"They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing, to declare that the Lord is upright."  Psalms 92:14-15

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust."  Psalm 103:13,14

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.  My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."  Psalm 130:5,6

In little things and big things - In youth and in old age - In the day and through the night - God is with us and helping us to face everything that is before us.....and He'll help us not to get in a big tangle!!  I am so grateful for His constant faithfulness. 

Confident Faith

The new year has started with some fresh challenges.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I would have preferred to have a less stressful beginning.  I saw a quote - "the presence of trouble does not mean the absence of God."  SO very true!  God is right here with me as He's been these last 9+ years on our unexpected journey.  I would be lost without Him.  My trust in Him has proven His faithfulness.

The "blessing" in Numbers 6 has always been so special to me.  I shared about it a couple months ago when I woke up with it running through my mind one morning.  Several friends have sent it to me during Christmas and New Year's.  I receive it afresh for 2024. 

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."  

I think the Lord wants to bless us more than we can ever imagine.  We just need to turn our hearts fully to Him. 

I recently found a short article by David Wilkerson from many years ago.  I love this quote from him:

"I believe the greatest sign or wonder to the world these days is not a person who has been raised from the dead.  No, what truly makes an impact on the mind and spirit of the ungodly is the Christian who endures all trials, storms, pain and suffering with a confident faith.  Such a believer emerges from his troubles stronger in character, stronger in faith, stronger in Christ."

That's my prayer for every challenge I face this year!!  May God help my faith in Him to be confident in the face of everything that comes my way.

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him!"  Psalm 34:8

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30

The Bitter and the Sweet

Happy New Year to you!  My prayer is that it will be filled with God's goodness and closeness to you.  I look forward to what God has for us in this year.

As we came to the new year, I reflected on the year gone by.  Thinking through month by month, it was so clear that God was with me.  The first 7 months were pretty rough, and then I turned a corner and started gaining health and strength.  I have so much to be thankful for.

I saw a notice that said "a contented person has learned to accept the bitter with the sweet."  My prayer is that I will be "content" this year - whatever comes my way.  I'm trusting for God's help and grace day by day.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:12,13

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you."  Isaiah 43:2

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38,39

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  Psalm 143:8

God is so faithful to help us, to cover us, to protect us, to guide us, and to never/ever forsake us!  I have fresh hope and confidence as I enter this new year.

His Indescribable Gift

All through this Christmas season, I've been meditating on the fact that "Jesus came."  He didn't have to!  He didn't have to become human.  He didn't have to be followed and hunted.  He didn't have to be taunted and ridiculed.  He didn't have to constantly be on the move for His and the disciples safety.  He didn't have to suffer the horrible cruelty of the cross.  But HE DID!!!  

Jesus came and went through all those things for us.  2 Corinthians 9:15 calls it God's "indescribable gift."  It is certainly a gift that begs description and understanding.  Why would God love us so much to send His Son to go through all He did?  We are certainly not worthy!  And yet God sent Jesus - and Jesus came.  I am so very grateful.  Thank you Jesus for coming.  I honor and celebrate you in this Christmas season.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son."  John 3:16

I wish you all a very wonderful, Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.  I'm so grateful that Emmanuel is with us all!

Remembering My Gifts

In this season of giving gifts, I've been meditating on all the wonderful gifts I've been given by the Lord.  I read a devotional thought entitled "remember when."  The idea was to think of times when something special happened, when God answered a prayer, or when God directed us in important decisions.  I started making a list - and realized it could go on for pages and pages.  Oh my - so many wonderful gifts from the Lord!  If I boxed them up one by one to put under the tree - they would take up the whole room!!  God has been so good to me - way back to when I was a little girl.

There were so many "remember when" times that God met me during the years that Floyd was sick.  I could not have survived those years without God's love, grace, strength, wisdom, and encouragement.  I had so many decisions to make that were overwhelming.  And just going to the hospital to be with Floyd time after time for years was like climbing Mount Everest.  And yet, each and every time I needed help - God met me.  How wonderful He was to me.

And there have been at least two times, probably more, that God saved my life.  I was going through massive cancer treatment during the same years that I was overseeing Floyd's care.  Honestly - I don't know how I survived all that.  But God!!!  He carried me even when I wasn't aware of how much He was carrying me.  It was usually only later - long after the events - that I realized how much God had helped me.  The fact that I'm here to write about this is incredible.  God has been faithful beyond measure to me.

This Christmas I am celebrating all these "gifts."  There are so many "remember when" testimonies of God's marvelous help and grace.  I'm so grateful!

"The Lord is good.  A stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him."  Nahum 1:7

"The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him."  Psalm 32:10

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."  Psalm 126:3

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

In this season of gifts - I found it life giving to take a few minutes to remember and thank the Lord for His many, many gifts to me.  He's the ultimate giver.

Maybe you'd like to join me in taking time to "remember when" God has met you in special ways - with comfort, with wisdom and guidance, with provision, with healing, with sweet friendship, with encouragement - the list is endless.  I'm sure you have received many precious gifts from Him too  What a wonderful God He is!

With Me in All Things

I've had a couple unusual things happen recently.  I had a "moment,"  truly just a moment, when I was hit smack dab in the face with grief!  It came out of nowhere and just consumed me.  I'm sure it's partially because of all the tender, sentimental things in this Christmas season that remind me of Floyd.  It honestly took my breath away when it hit my heart so hard.  I sat down and started praying - and so very sweetly - it washed away as quickly as it had come.  My prayer turned to worship as I thanked the Lord for lifting the sorrow from my heart.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  Matthew 5:4 

"Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows."  Isaiah 53:4 

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

On a different note, I woke up one morning excited about the day.  That's unusual for me.  I normally wake up and just do what has to be done that day.  But this particular morning I was truly excited as I began my day.  Nothing special was happening, but there was a distinct excitement and joy as I got out of bed.  I'm hoping that continues!  Sometimes I feel like I'm just plodding through my day - I like the excitement more. :)

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him."  Romans 15:13

"This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."  Psalm 118:24

I've read enough about the season I'm in to know that both experiences are "normal."  But they were different enough to catch my attention.  I'm so grateful that the Lord is with us in whatever we go through.  I try to glean the lessons He has for me as I walk through this time in my life.  He has been so faithful to me!

Gentle Whispers

The Christmas season when we celebrate the birth of Christ is such a special season!  But it can also be an incredibly busy season with all the Christmas festivities.  We need to be careful that we don't miss the "gentle whispers" of the Lord during the busy time.  I've found over the years that during this special season He loves to speak wonderful things into our hearts.  I'm trying to listen carefully.

"After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper."  1 Kings 19:12

When someone whispers to you, you have to be very close to hear.  We have to be close and stay in tune to God to hear His "gentle whispers."  He has some beautiful things He wants to whisper into our hearts.

I pray that you'll hear many "gentle whispers" during this Christmas season.  I'm so very thankful that Jesus came!

The Manger and The Cross

It seems that the Lord keeps speaking to me through songs.  I woke up one morning with the words to a song going through my head.  I hadn't heard the song in years, but it was very clearly on a repeat loop in my head.  I began to ask the Lord why He brought it to my mind.

I believe in a hill called Mount Calvary
I believe whatever the cost
And when time has surrendered
And earth is no more
I'll still cling to the old rugged cross.

I realized we are in a time of change.  There are wars and rumors of wars.  There are institutions that have stood for decades, some for a hundred years or more, that are crumbling.  Things we have counted on are no more.  Things that have made us feel safe and secure are falling away.

I live in a country that is changing at every level.  People are nervous about the future. 

But one thing is strong and as sure as it's ever been - that wonderful old rugged cross.  It wasn't something we'd call "pretty," but it is awesomely beautiful in what it stands for in our lives.  It is what gives us life because our dear Savior died on that cross.

In this season when we are celebrating the birth of Christ - and thinking of him being born in a stable and laid in a manger......it's important to remember how the story ends.  The baby grew up and died for our sins.  I'm so grateful that Jesus came - and even more grateful that He gave His life for me, for us.  Thank you Jesus.

"You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins."  Matthew 1:21

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son."  John 3:16

"The message of the cross is hidden in the message of the cradle."  anonymous

Thank you, Jesus, for the manger and the cross.  I worship you for both during this Christmas season.

When the Time Comes

This year has flown by!  We're into Dec., and Christmas is just around the corner.  I love Christmas.  It's always been my favorite time of the year, and I have so many special Christmas memories.  I especially love a beautiful Christmas tree.

During the years that Floyd was sick, I only did my tree once - the Christmas that my grandkids came to visit.  I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to do my tree this year.  It's a lot of work, and it's very tender.  But, I finally decided to do it.  

One of my friends said she thought that was an indication that my heart is healing.  I think she's right.  I took my time, and found that with many of the ornaments it brought back sweet, special memories.  It wasn't hard.  It wasn't painful.  It was lovely.  I actually put my tree up a couple weeks ago so I could enjoy it longer.  Sitting beside it with all the twinkly lights has been so special.  And my heart IS healing!  There were so many painful things from the years that Floyd was sick, but the Spirit is slowly, gently cleansing them from my heart and mind.

There was a dear friend who was so helpful during the years Floyd was sick.  He and his wife visited Floyd 2-3 times a week for all those years - spending quality time with him and praying for him.  He also helped me with lots of problems I faced during those hard times.  After Floyd passed away I gave him a devotional book by Max Lucado that Floyd used all the time.  It was a favorite of his.

In the WHOLE book, there is only one page that had some things underlined.  It's called "when the time comes."  It says things you think you can't face - then says you can "when the time comes."  It says "the key is this:  Meet today's problems with today's strength.  Don't start tackling tomorrow's problems until tomorrow.  You do not have tomorrow's strength yet.  You simply have enough for today."

Oh how I wish I knew what that meant to him.  I often prayed for him that God would give him sufficient strength and grace for all he was going through.  I know God's goodness and faithfulness, so I believe "when the time came" God met him and helped him.  And finding that one page underlined in the book spoke to our friend and to me that God would help us "when the time comes" for everything we face!

"God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."  Matthew 6:34 The Message

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9

God has met me time and time again - when the time came!  I am so grateful.  And I'm enjoying my beautiful Christmas tree with memories of our 54 years together.

With Me in the Dark of Night

I haven't slept well the last few nights, but something interesting happened.  Every time I woke up, the words to the "blessing" in Numbers 6:24-26 were going through my mind.

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."

There's a song with these words - and it was actually the song going through my mind.  What was striking was that it was immediately in my mind each time I woke up.  It gave me a sweet sense of comfort that the Lord was right with me in the dark of night when I kept waking up, and He was blessing me.  It's a bit hard to describe, but it was very precious and meaningful.

It reminded me of something I read recently.  A young couple were going through a difficult time financially.  In fact, they had to move out of their home in the new year.  But they didn't want their circumstances to spoil the joy of Christmas, so they decided to throw a party and invite all their friends.

When their guests arrived they saw a tree decorated with small rolled-up pieces of paper tied to the limbs with ribbon.  The couple explained that in the midst of their difficulty they wanted to thank the Lord for all the blessings in their lives - so they decided to do a "blessing tree."  Such a great idea.  I may do it sometime. 

Whatever I'm facing, I think of the "blessing" from the book of Numbers.....and all the blessings He has given me.  I'm so grateful! 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."  James 1:17

"I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul."  3 John 1:2

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

"May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed."  Psalm 20:4

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans."  Proverbs 16:3

Whatever comes my way, I am blessed!  The middle of the night reassurances of that have been so special!

Joy Unspeakable

I've had a few rough days recently.  I never know what's ahead, so when it's a hard day I have to be careful to protect my heart and live above the circumstances.  It's so important not to let my health challenges drag me down emotionally and spiritually.

A friend recently learned of some big health issues.  She said "I didn't sign up for a character building course, but I'm enrolled anyway."  I chuckled, and thought how I could so relate.

I continually ask the Lord to fill me with His joy, and to protect my mind from negative thoughts. If I find my mind drifting to doom and gloom because of my situation....I stop myself and begin to speak out God's goodness and faithfulness.  It shifts my focus immediately, and gets my thoughts and my emotions back to the place of having the "joy of the Lord" in my heart.

Besides our own individual situations, there are so many difficult and discouraging things happening in our world.  It's easy to come under the heaviness of these things and become despairing.  But if we become hopeless and defeated, the enemy wins.  We have to keep our eyes on Jesus, pray for the difficult situations, speak out God's goodness and faithfulness, and keep hope alive in our hearts for all God wants to do.  He rules over all!

"A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones."  Proverbs 17:22

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."  Romans 12:2

"Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Matthew 6:10

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you."  Ephesians 1:18 

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."  Psalm 112:7

Through the past challenging years when I have walked through some of the hardest things, I've found that it is possible to have "joy unspeakable" as I allow the Holy Spirit to fill my heart and mind.  I couldn't have survived if I had come under the cloud of all that was happening.  But His power, grace, and strength helped me rise above those things and walk in His light and presence.  He is so incredibly good!

Thanksgiving

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name."  Psalm 100:4

This Thursday is the Thanksgiving holiday in the U.S.  It was always one of my favorite holidays - especially as we shared what we were thankful for as we sat around the table.  I miss the turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie - but most of all I miss family and sharing thankfulness. 

My mind has been reeling with all the things I'm thankful for.  The list is endless because God has been so good to me.  Even as I lift up current needs to Him, I can't help but think of all the answers to prayer in recent years.  I am thankful, thankful, thankful!!

"Give thanks in all circumstances."  1 Thessalonians 5:18 

"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."  Psalm 9:1

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.  His love endures forever."  Psalm 136:1 

"It is good to give thanks to the Lord.  Psalm 92:1a

"Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits."  Psalm 103:2

Someone said "Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind."  My heart is full to overflowing with gratitude!!

The Faithfulness of God

I've been working on a "project" to sort through one of Floyd's email accounts - to file, delete, archive, etc.  As I've been doing that, it's like going through our history for everything that has happened in our life for years and years.  It's been fascinating to "relive" all the events - many that I've forgotten about.  Through it all, there are two dominant thoughts running through my mind.

The first is - change.  Oh my goodness - sooo many things have changed.  In fact, almost everything in our lives has changed.  I definitely had forgotten some things.  As I sorted through the emails, my mind was flooded with memories of all that has happened and changed. 

The second thought is - God's faithfulness.  I'm sure that doesn't surprise you.  Over and over there was a need, a problem, something that had to be sorted out......and then the emails of God's provision and answers.  Sometimes the situation seemed impossible - and then the solutions came.  I found myself stopping to worship the Lord over and over again.  He has been so faithful!

I have to admit that I hadn't been excited about this project.  I kinda drug my feet in getting to work on it.  But now I look forward to each block of time I've set aside to work on it because I get to relive God's goodness and faithfulness!  It's never ending.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22,23

"Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds."  Psalm 36:5 

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful - for He cannot deny Himself."  2 Timothy 2:13

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Philippians 4:6

"For nothing is impossible with God."  Luke 1:37

It's clear that some things we experienced, some needs we had, seemed like "too much."  I wasn't sure how we'd get through it.  But God met us time and time again.  I'm humbled as I journey though these emails to see God's goodness and faithfulness.  All I can do is praise Him!

At the Top of My List

I am just naturally a detailed, organized person.  It's a "gift" I've had for as long as I can remember.  My brain just thinks that way.  Sometimes it drove my family crazy, but mostly they appreciated it. :)

Because of being that way, I always have a list.  But my list is usually longer than my day or my allotted time.  I tend to overestimate what I can get done.  There always seem to be delays and complications.

But, for me, one daily goal must always be accomplished - being in touch with Jesus.  Even if nothing gets done on the list, I absolutely must be in communication with Him.  

Staying in touch with Jesus has carried me through the years of Floyd's illness, his passing, and my ongoing battle with cancer.  Even if it was just whispered prayers as I went through a hard day, talking to the Lord carried me through the day.  As I spoke to Him continually, it allowed me to feel His presence with me - knowing I was never alone.  My walk with the Lord has always been a precious friendship - and that friendship has been my lifeline in these hard years.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."  Psalm 19:14

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him."  Psalm 145:18

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment."  Matthew 22:37,38

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  Micah 7:7

"He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord."  Psalm 112:7

"There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand."  Proverbs 19:21

"Come near to God and He will come near to you."  James 4:8

I've sometimes wished I could just walk in the garden with the Lord like Adam & Eve did before the fall.  It sounds so beautiful.  But as I've been writing this, scene after scene has come flashing through my mind - times when I whispered prayers and God met me.  In ICU with Floyd, many times by his beside, going through surgeries and chemo for my treatment, being home alone, being isolated during Covid.....the list/scenes go on.  I'm crying as I think of all the many wonderful times when God met me as I talked with Him.  He has been so faithful!

That's why talking with the Lord is ALWAYS at the top of my list!!

There is Always Room

One day while praying and talking to the Lord, I had a picture in my mind of a long wooden table with wooden benches around it.  The table was set with pretty dishes.  Colorful flowers were arranged all the way down the middle of the table.  Every spot on the table was overflowing with bowls, platters, and baskets of food.  It all seemed to be outdoors in a small meadow set among beautiful trees. 

The table was full - people sitting tightly side by side on the benches.  They were chatting and laughing and getting ready to say grace before eating the bountiful meal spread before them. Then out of the trees ran another person apologizing for being late.  There didn't seem to be room for one more, but the man at the head of the table said "make room."  We always have room for one more.  And unbelievably, there was room.  The person squeezed in.

As the people prayed for the meal, the man at the head spoke again.  He said it's time to get back to the table.  We may be surrounded by enemies, but they are powerless.  Our strength is in being at the table together.  Whether we are alone or with family.  If we are strong, healthy, and happy - or if we are weak, sick, and sad - being at the table meets our needs and allows us to soak in the goodness and presence of the Lord.  There is always a place for us at the table, and there is "food" to help us in whatever we are facing.

In this mental picture, I sensed a fresh invitation to sit at the table!  There was room for me, and there was food to nourish me.  I have been choosing daily to sit at that table!  In Luke 14 Jesus shares the parable of the man who gave a lavish banquet, but everyone had an excuse for not attending.  I don't want to be like them.  I want to put everything else aside and sit at that table! 

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows."  Psalm 23:5

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love."  Song of Solomon 2:4

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him."  Psalm 34:8

The menu on the table the Lord has invited us to is love, grace, healing, peace, provision, comfort, and strength.  It's a rich meal filled with His blessing.  For whatever loss or grief we are feeling, He has healing oil to share with us.  He knows what nourishment we need, and He has prepared a banqueting table for us.  He invites us to come and dine with Him.  It's time to take our place at the table for whatever need we have. There's room for all of us.  And our faithful God has just the right food for us.

My Strong Tower

It amazes me how you can read from something for years - and suddenly find a verse you've never noticed.  I'm speaking of the Bible of course.  Someone shared a verse with me that I've never taken note of.  "The Lord tears down the house of the proud, but He protects the property of widows."  Proverbs 15:25

The Lord certainly protected me with the intruder recently.  And the verse has given me fresh confidence for the future.  I watched the Celebration of Life/memorial services of 2 friends recently.  Both left widows.  I'm glad that the Lord is watching over all of us and protecting us and our properties. 

Because Floyd was in the hospital for 5+ years before he passed away, I was used to being alone and on my own.  So it surprised me how much more alone I felt when he passed away.  I didn't expect that it would be such a big difference - but it was.  I leaned into the Lord in a new, deeper way in asking Him to be my husband.  He has been faithful to surround me with His comfort and presence.  And now I have this lovely verse from Proverbs about His protection!

I hope any widows reading this will be encouraged that God is watching over you too.

"The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him."  Psalm 34:7

"You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble."  Psalm 32:7 

"The Lord is faithful.  He will establish you and guard you."  2 Thessalonians 3:3

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe."  Proverbs 18:10

I particularly like that last verse.  Years ago we used to sing a song taken from that verse.  At times when I've felt vulnerable, I've pictured myself running into a strong tower and feeling safe with the army of the Lord protecting me and angels surrounding me.

Waiting

I had an alarming wakeup on Sunday morning - a little before 6 a.m.  I was soundly asleep when my security alarm went off.  As I woke up, I heard some noise - and a few minutes later my neighbor called me.  I had an intruder on my property!!!  It was quite an adrenaline rush.  Thankfully he wasn't targeting my property.  He was trying to escape the security men that were after him.  He hid one street over on someone's property for 3 hours, but then they found him.  He's a known criminal, so he's off to jail.  I had to go to the police station to file a report, so I've had time to think about all that happened. 

The predominant thought I've had is that the Lord protected me.  No harm to me or my property, nothing taken, my neighbor was watching out for me, it's all captured on camera.....the only thing was the massive adrenaline rush.  It took a while for my body to calm down! 

This episode has reminded me of how wonderfully good and faithful the Lord has been to me.  I often speak/pray out all the ways He's helped me.

He is my Rock.

He's definitely my Protector.

He's my Strength day by day.

He's my Companion, my husband.

He's my Comfort, especially on lonely days.

He's my Provider, of my every need.

He's my Counselor, my source of wisdom.

He gives me sufficient Grace for each day.

He's my Healer.

He is the Refuge I seek.

He is the Strong Tower I run to.

He is continually Near to me.

He's my Help for everything I face.

He is my Joy, which brings strength.

He is my Hope, for each new day.

He is the Power I need in my weakness.

And the list goes on and on and on!  It's truly endless in His provision for me/us.

Since Floyd became ill, and then when he passed away - I think I rely more on the Lord than I ever did before.  I don't have a husband anymore to help me through things.  That presses me into the Lord much more powerfully.  And He has been more than enough for everything I've faced.  I am so very grateful for His goodness and faithfulness.  I don't feel alone.  I feel surrounded by God's loving care in whatever I need.

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."  Psalm 62:8

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."  Proverbs 29:25

"Your Maker is your husband.  The Lord of hosts is His name."  Isaiah 54:5

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

"My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19 

"I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  Micah 7:7

I have faced many difficult things in these past years - and even now.  But I lack for nothing because God has been faithfully with me each step of the way.  I don't have sufficient words to say how very, very grateful I am.  He is so good and faithful.

Waiting.  It's one of the hardest things in life to do.  From the smallest, most mundane things to the biggest life changing things - waiting is hard.  We can make all the right choices and responses, but it doesn't make waiting any easier.  It doesn't speed up the process.  It doesn't relieve the pressure.  Waiting is simply that - waiting.  And it isn't easy.

I've done a lot of waiting in the last 9+ years.  In fact, it seems like that's all I've done.  Wait for one thing after another.  Wait for answers.  Wait for change.  Wait for understanding.  I've gotten tired of waiting.  I've gotten frustrated with waiting.  I've battled to keep hope alive while waiting.  But - I've waited!  And waited!

Waiting involves patience.  Without it you can't keep waiting.  You have to take a deep breath, even sigh a little bit, and be patient.  You can't fight the waiting - it is what it is, so you must be patient. 

Waiting also involves trust.  Without trust there's no basis for the waiting - and the hope.  Trust has to be the foundation for our waiting.  Trust that God sees our situation, that He is at work in it, and that He has answers.  Trust that He has a plan.  Trust that He will help us wait.  Trust that He won't give us more than we can bear.  Trust that He will be faithful to us while we wait.  And continuing to trust if the answer comes and it wasn't what we thought it would be!

In this world of instant everything - waiting almost seems like it should be a thing of the past.  But God doesn't see it that way.  He has plans and purposes for our waiting.  The prayers we have prayed hundreds of times.  The promises we hold close to our hearts wondering when they will be fulfilled.  He has heard every prayer, and His promises are sure and true.  But we usually have to wait for the answers.  Waiting is one of the ways God works in our lives.  He doesn't see it as wasted time.  He uses it to draw us close to Him. 

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.  Wait, I say, on the Lord!  Psalm 27:14

"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him."  Lamentations 3:25 

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you.  For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him."  Isaiah 30:18

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope."  Psalm 130:5 

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him."  Psalm 62:5

"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation.  My God will hear me."  Micah 7:7

While I don't like the waiting, I do my best to wait patiently.  And I tell the Lord daily that I trust Him.  I also ask Him to help me to wait and not create answers that are mine and not His.  He is good and faithful.  In His timing, the waiting will be over.