The Bitter and the Sweet

Happy New Year to you!  My prayer is that it will be filled with God's goodness and closeness to you.  I look forward to what God has for us in this year.

As we came to the new year, I reflected on the year gone by.  Thinking through month by month, it was so clear that God was with me.  The first 7 months were pretty rough, and then I turned a corner and started gaining health and strength.  I have so much to be thankful for.

I saw a notice that said "a contented person has learned to accept the bitter with the sweet."  My prayer is that I will be "content" this year - whatever comes my way.  I'm trusting for God's help and grace day by day.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:12,13

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you."  Isaiah 43:2

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38,39

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  Psalm 143:8

God is so faithful to help us, to cover us, to protect us, to guide us, and to never/ever forsake us!  I have fresh hope and confidence as I enter this new year.

Remembering My Gifts

In this season of giving gifts, I've been meditating on all the wonderful gifts I've been given by the Lord.  I read a devotional thought entitled "remember when."  The idea was to think of times when something special happened, when God answered a prayer, or when God directed us in important decisions.  I started making a list - and realized it could go on for pages and pages.  Oh my - so many wonderful gifts from the Lord!  If I boxed them up one by one to put under the tree - they would take up the whole room!!  God has been so good to me - way back to when I was a little girl.

There were so many "remember when" times that God met me during the years that Floyd was sick.  I could not have survived those years without God's love, grace, strength, wisdom, and encouragement.  I had so many decisions to make that were overwhelming.  And just going to the hospital to be with Floyd time after time for years was like climbing Mount Everest.  And yet, each and every time I needed help - God met me.  How wonderful He was to me.

And there have been at least two times, probably more, that God saved my life.  I was going through massive cancer treatment during the same years that I was overseeing Floyd's care.  Honestly - I don't know how I survived all that.  But God!!!  He carried me even when I wasn't aware of how much He was carrying me.  It was usually only later - long after the events - that I realized how much God had helped me.  The fact that I'm here to write about this is incredible.  God has been faithful beyond measure to me.

This Christmas I am celebrating all these "gifts."  There are so many "remember when" testimonies of God's marvelous help and grace.  I'm so grateful!

"The Lord is good.  A stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him."  Nahum 1:7

"The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him."  Psalm 32:10

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."  Psalm 126:3

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

In this season of gifts - I found it life giving to take a few minutes to remember and thank the Lord for His many, many gifts to me.  He's the ultimate giver.

Maybe you'd like to join me in taking time to "remember when" God has met you in special ways - with comfort, with wisdom and guidance, with provision, with healing, with sweet friendship, with encouragement - the list is endless.  I'm sure you have received many precious gifts from Him too  What a wonderful God He is!

Walking in Joy and Hope

Overall, these days I am doing pretty well.  I'm grateful for that.  I still have up and down days energy wise.  I try to listen to my body, and adjust accordingly while still trying to keep going faithfully on the things I need to do.  But recently I realized that I have somewhat of a "plodding" attitude.  I'm missing the "joy" that I need.  I felt convicted of that, and I'm working on change.  I can't just plod - I need to walk in joy.

For me it begins with the time I spend with the Lord each morning.  Joy is rooted in who God is.  It's not based on how I feel or on my circumstances.  I need to receive His joy daily before I move on to the tasks.  When I'm careful to do that, the tasks become easier and I'm not "plodding."  It sounds so simple, and yet I've found I need to be purposeful in this!

"The joy of the Lord is my strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

"Everything seems to go wrong when you feel weak and depressed.  But when you choose to be cheerful, every day will bring you more and more joy and fullness."  Proverbs 15:15 TPT

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."  Romans 15:13

"Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."  John 16:24 

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."  Proverbs 17:22

Joy is a common theme all through the Bible.  It's clear that the Lord wants us to walk in joy no matter what we're facing.  I'm embracing that afresh!

A friend sent me a prayer this week.  It was written by George Matheson (1842-1906), a blind man who was a pastor and hymn writer.  It is incredibly powerful.  I wanted to share it with you.

"Dear Lord, You have made waiting beautiful and patience divine.  You have taught us that your will should be accepted, simply because it is your will.  You have revealed to us that a person may see nothing but sorrow in his cup yet still be willing to drink it because of a conviction that your eyes see farther than his own.  Father, give me Your divine power - the power of Gethsemane.  Give me the strength to wait for hope - to look through the window when there are no stars.  Even when my joy is gone, give me the strength to stand victoriously in the darkest night and say, 'To my heavenly Father, the sun still shines.'  I have reached the point of greatest strength once I have learned to wait for hope." 

I can't begin to imagine what this prayer meant to this dear man all those years ago, but it stirred my deepest heart as I read it.  Quite honestly, it's almost too much to pray all at once.  I've been praying it phrase by phrase - and will keep doing so.  There are a number of things I am waiting for in hope.  This prayer gives perspective to that wait.  It points out that waiting can be beautiful.  I don't usually see it that way! 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."  Romans 15:13 

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31

In our darkest time - whatever that might be - the sun of God's love and grace still shines.  There is hope!  There are answers to prayers coming.  There is abundant strength for what we are facing.  There is new joy when it seems we have been robbed of joy.  There are plans God has for us that we can't yet see.  He has a future for us that we may not have planned.  He is good and faithful - and He wants to birth hope afresh in our hearts.

Finding a Way Around

In recent years with all we've faced and gone through, I have seen so many answers to prayer.  It has been very special and encouraging.  I'm grateful for each answer!

But there have been many things I've prayed for where I didn't see answers.  I trust God.  I trust His wisdom to know what's best.  But sometimes I've wondered about the unanswered prayers - the obstacles I asked God to remove.....but they didn't budge.  They remained bright as day - huge and unmoving.

At some point I came across this quote - "If God doesn't remove an obstacle, He'll help you find a way around it."  And that's what happened.  He helped me deal with the obstacles.  He showed me how to overcome the problem that they caused.  He led me in directions where the obstacle wasn't on the path.

I guess I still have questions that I wonder about, but I'll have all of eternity to ask the Lord about them.  The thing that is foremost in my mind is that God helped me deal with the obstacle even when it wasn't removed.  How awesome is that?!

"When they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away."  Mark 16:4 

"We triumph even in our troubles, knowing that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope - a hope which never disappoints us, since God's love floods our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us."  Romans 5:3,5

"Know Him in all your paths, and He will keep your ways straight."  Proverbs 3:6

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But He said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:8-10 

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  Philippians 4:6

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."  Exodus 14:14

I know there will continue to be obstacles on my journey, but I also know God will remove them or help me find a way around them.  That gives me such a sense of peace on the journey.  How faithful and good He is!

Through the years we have been blessed to work with some wonderful people - to be part of some inspiring groups - and live in interesting places.  One of the things we've learned is to "savor" each one of those.  You never know when things will change, people move on, or even God moving us on.

We lived in Holland for 18 years.  I thought we would continue living there for many, many years.  And suddenly! - everything changed and we were leaving.  We loved living there, loved the Dutch culture and people.  We felt very much at home and wanted to stay.  But God was leading a different way.  I'm so glad that we had "savored" every day there.  The years in Holland went with us in our hearts.

Our years in Kabul, Afghanistan were very different.  It was not an easy place to live!  So many challenges.  And yet, I loved living there and "savored" all the rich experiences.  We were there when the king was overthrown - an important moment in the history of the country.  We were there when the Christian church (for foreigners) was torn down - a sad and historic day.  The government had heard there was an "underground church."  So they tore the building down and dug deep into the ground looking for that church.  I have a piece of the marble floor of the church.  Every time I look at it, it reminds me to pray for that country that is going through such hard times - especially the women and children. 

If I counted right, we have lived in 13 different places, and worked with hundreds and hundreds of wonderful people.  Not everything was easy and smooth going, but, none the less, we savored each place, each relationship, each person.  I feel so blessed to have had the life we've had......"savoring" each minute.  I thank the Lord for how He's led us all our years.

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:4

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."  1 Peter 4:10

"A friend loves at all times."  Proverbs 17:17 

"God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, so that we might live through Him.  In this is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His son to be the expiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."  1 John 4:8-11

"Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Our greatest wealth is not measured in terms of riches but relationships.  We've never had a lot of money, but we are exceedingly rich in the gift of people in our lives. 

Praise Turns Burdens Into Blessings

I read an article recently about a father who had lost his teenage daughter in an accident.  He walked through tremendous grief.  He said one of the things he learned was that in the "rubble of disaster, there were gemstones."  I love that.  I think I experienced the same thing.  In the midst of the grief and suffering of what was happening to Floyd, there were sweet gifts.  God was very present day by day.  He faithfully ministered grace, healing, and comfort.

I mentioned recently that Floyd and I were very young when we got married.  We quickly learned that we had unrealistic expectations of each other.....and because of that, we needed to talk things through as they arose.  We talked a lot!  The wonderful thing was that it laid a foundation of communication in our marriage.  When differences arose, we learned to quickly talk about them and work them out.  If we let them just sit - the differences grew and became harder to resolve.

I'm so grateful for that foundation.  It helped us learn and grow together over the years.  One day in the hospital, standing by Floyd's bed and telling him about something - it hit me.  There was nothing left unsaid between us.  We had worked through every difficulty, talked about every misunderstanding, and our hearts were clear towards each other.  Everything that needed to be said had been said.  Oh - I would have loved to hear him tell me one more time that he loved me.....but there was nothing I wished I'd said or done.  It was a special "gemstone" to realize that.  We hadn't planned it this way, but what a gift it was in that season.

It's also given me an awareness of other relationships - to work things through, talk things through.....and not let things sit.  We never know when there won't be another opportunity.

"...bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."  Colossians 3:13,14

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  1 Peter 4:8

"Encourage one another and build one another up."  1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."  Luke 6:31

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

There are so many verses about relationships and speech.  God has sought to guide us, but we have to do the actual work.  We have to take the initiative to talk things through when needed.

I've actually thought of a number of "gemstones" during the 5+ years Floyd was in the hospital, but the one I shared above is so special to me.  No regrets.  Nothing left unsaid.  It brought such rest and peace to realize that.  Thank you, Lord, for that!

I had my post treatment check up with my doctor this week.  Early indications are that the treatment has been successful.  How encouraging that was to hear!  The treatment will keep working for quite some time, so my prayer is that it will continue to be successful.   

This month is special to me because it marks 9 years since I was diagnosed with cancer.  The outlook at that time is that "maybe" I would survive 2 years.  I'm so grateful that God was in charge of that "maybe."  He had other plans.  I'm so grateful that He carried me and helped me survive during the years Floyd was sick.  We could never have imagined that Floyd's illness and my cancer battle would both be raging at the same time.  I have thanked the Lord over and over that He helped me through those hard years.

I have no idea what's ahead - but I know I'm in good hands.  I know that God still has plans for me for every day that I'm still alive.  I love walking hand in hand with Him, day by day, for whatever He has in store for me.  I feel safe and secure knowing God is in control.  What a wonderful place to be!

I read about a lady who was bed-ridden for 16 years and only had use of one thumb.  With a fork and stick attached to that thumb, she learned to do many things - put on her glasses, feed herself, sip tea through a tube, turn the pages of her Bible, and other chores.  She told a friend she had so much to be thankful for.

Contentment to our life circumstances isn't learned in a few hours,  but if we're thankful for whatever blessings we have - we can have a rich life of thankfulness.  Praising God turns our burdens and trials into blessings.

I've gone through a lot these last years, but God has been with me and blessed me.  I'm so grateful for His faithfulness and help day by day.  He is so good! 

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints."  Ephesians 1:18

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground."  Psalm 143:10 

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  Psalm 143:8

"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love."  Lamentations 3:32

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63:8

In many cancer rooms/wards they have a bell that patients can ring when they are cancer free.  I've never rang that bell because I've not been "free" of my cancer.  But God has carried me "through" my cancer day by day.  In my mind I ring that bell and thank Him daily.  He has been so good to me.