Living Day-by-Day

In the days ahead, it's the 11th anniversary from my diagnosis of ovarian cancer.  I'm amazed, and very grateful, that I'm still alive!  My oncologist says that most of her patients are gone in 6 months to 2 years.  She says that my optimism, my faith, and my pro-active involvement in my care are the key things that have helped me.  I don't disagree, but I tell her it's definitely an answer to prayer that I'm still alive.  She does call me a "miracle."  :)

I was scrolling through the photos on my phone.  It hit me how many of our friends and family have gone to be with Jesus in recent years - a lot of them!  There were some who came to visit Floyd when he was sick and even spoke at the memorial services for him, and now they've joined him in heaven.

It reminds me afresh that our times are in God's hands.  There have been a few times when I've been worried about the cancer I have.....worried for the future, for our family, etc.  Every time that happens, the Lord reminds me to keep my eyes on Him - not on my cancer.  He exhorts me to live day-by-day and not project into the future.  He brings to my mind ways that He has helped me all my life, and especially during these 11 years......and tells me He is faithful to keep helping me.  I definitely trust in His faithfulness.

Without a miracle, I'll never be cured of my cancer.  I've had 8 surgeries and 4 courses of chemo.  The tumor is currently inoperable because of it's location and attachment to vital organs.  But the Lord has helped me in "living with cancer."  It's been challenging at times, but He has helped me along the way.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' " Lamentations 3:22-24

"Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; and...that He may have mercy on you.  For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him."  Isaiah 30:18

I "wait" for all the Lord has for me - hour by hour, day by day, month by month.  I know He is good, trustworthy, and faithful.  I'm in good hands.  And my heart is at peace.

Don't Be Anxious

Last week I wrote about the verse "Be still and know that I am God."  I included a chart that breaks down the verse.  I really try to live by that verse and all that it means.

BUT sometimes I worry.  I don't want to worry.  It takes so much energy, and distracts me from my focus on the Lord.  But I do catch myself worrying.  The other night I couldn't sleep.  In the midst of being wide awake, I started worrying about a pain I had.  In no time at all that worry was spiraling out of control.  I had to very consciously rein in my thoughts, and focus on the Lord.  I needed to be still and remember that God is with me!!  If I'm focusing on the Lord, there's no room for worry!

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?''  Luke 12:25,26

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:34

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You."  Psalm 56:3

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."  Psalm 23:4

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  Philippians 4:6

I  don't want to be a "worry wart" like we sometimes called people when I was growing up.  I want my focus always and continually to be on our wonderful Lord!

I'm Grateful

There's a question that I've often been asked.  I imagine you've had it too.  Someone will say "how are you?"  The standard answer is "I'm fine."  But many times that wasn't the case.  I wasn't fine.  I may have been sick in some way - or discouraged - or overwhelmed.  But people don't want to hear a litany of those things.  They're usually just being polite in asking the question.

Recently someone shared on the FaceBook prayer page something her pastor had taught.  When someone asks "how are you?" - a good answer is "I'm grateful."  I love that!!!  And it's true.  Even in hard times, my heart is grateful.  It's the perfect answer to that question.

Some things I'm grateful for today:

• Sunshine!!  The last few days have been sooo cold.  The sun today warms my heart and my body.

• Grocery delivery!  One good thing that the pandemic brought is delivery service.  I can order just about anything and have it delivered.

• Friends!  A friend came over today to help me with something.  I so appreciated it.

• Strength!  I had a long list of things to accomplish, and the Lord gave me strength to make it through the list.

• The internet!  It allows me to communicate with all of you from right here in my home.  I'm old enough to remember when we had to communicate with letters.  It took days to get a message to someone.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."  Proverbs 17:22

My heart is cheerful - filled with gratitude.

When I face challenging situations (I’ve had a few this week) - I face a big temptation!  To worry!  My mind for details thinks through everything about the projects.  If I'm not careful, I can get bogged down in the pit of worry.  I have to continually give things to the Lord.  Even in the midst of a stressful project I had this week, I had to walk away, sit down, and give everything to the Lord.  One time wasn't enough!  I had to keep giving things to the Lord and ask Him to carry the burden for me.

Continually communicating with the Lord is our protection from being weighed down by the burdens we face - both large and small.  The key is the constant communication!  The Lord doesn't get tired of our bringing the situation to Him.  He is always available, always listening, always ready to help.  As I gave the burden to Him repeatedly, I could feel His help and strength to make it through.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"  Luke 12:25,26

"In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help.  From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears."  Psalm 18:6 

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."  Proverbs 12:25

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6,7

I had a friend speaking kind words - and was surrounded by the peace of the Lord.  It was a good week. :) 

Worry is a Powerful Thing

I've been feeling "poorly" (as we used to say when I was growing up in Texas).  I've been too weak to get much of anything done.  And then I tend to worry about all the things I'm not getting done.

Worry is a powerful thing.  We tend to worry about the next week, the next month, even the next year.  God wants us to focus on just one day at a time.  Worry means we're carrying a burden God never intended for us to bear.  We're to cast our burdens onto His big shoulders.

I am trying my best to do that.  Some days I succeed.  Some days I don't.  Being weak actually helps as I don't have the energy to worry. 

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:34

In the midst of being weak, feeling poorly, I've sensed the Lord's presence with me.  I'm so thankful that in the midst of the hard times, He doesn't disappear.  In fact, if anything, He makes His presence more clear and obvious because He wants us to know we're not alone.  That means so much to me!  I'm so grateful for His faithfulness.