Cancer and Joy - God's Compensations

NO ONE WANTS CANCER! But after the initial shock of discovering I have cancer, I concluded that God was with me in this journey. Consequently, I could expect God to reveal Himself to me every step of the way, in small and great ways. Cancer is something that all of us fear – dread – don’t want – think will never happen to us, especially if we’ve been good about check ups, doctor’s appointments, etc. Which I always had been! But, it can happen to any of us - as I’ve just found out. There are no guarantees in life – young, old, in between, there are things we all go through. There are days when I still think this is a bad dream, and I’m going to wake up. It’s still a challenge to say the words – “I have cancer.”

I’ve found in my life that I go through seasons, good seasons, hard seasons, seasons I wish I didn’t have to go through. I’m in that third category now: cancer and chemo-therapy.

I have moments of courage in facing this season, and I have moments of weakness in thinking, ‘How in the world am I going to get through this?’

It’s not at all the season I was planning. My husband and I live in South Africa. We were in the midst of planning an extended visit to the U.S. to see family and friends, especially looking forward to time with the grandkids! We hadn’t been back for a visit like this for 2 years.

Then suddenly, cancer.

As much as I wish I wasn’t in this season, I have to say I’m finding small joys along the way.

That includes friends praying for me. I feel very “carried” by them. And I feel enveloped in peace and comfort from the Lord.

I guess the thing that has been most surprising to me is the moments of joy I’ve experienced. I’m calling them my “unexpected joys.” Even though God has given me wonderful gifts of joy all through life, I needed to open my eyes and heart to receive that in this difficult season. Once I did that – wow! I’ve had lots of it. I see and experience joy daily. Joy didn’t disappear because I have cancer. In fact, I think I’m more aware of it because it’s such a contrast to the heaviness of cancer.

God is the wonderful, gracious giver of joy in every season we walk through. There are moments I actually don’t want joy. I just want to curl up and sleep, hoping when I wake up that it has all gone away. But there it is, intervening, waking my soul to His goodness.

I learned many years ago that even in the hardest circumstances in life, I can look for the little things God brings to show His goodness. They are what I call “God’s compensations.” In so many ways He reminds me that He is “just in all His ways and kind in all His doings.” I’m finding His compensations of joy all around me in this season of cancer. They stare me in the face every day.

I’ll be sharing my “unexpected joys” on this blog. Being able to do that brought an immediate, unexpected anticipation: what will God do next that I can share with you? In the midst of it all, the pain, the nausea, the sleepless nights, there is a small stream of hope flowing through this hard season, breathing life into me.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”   Psalm 30:5

Cancer and Joy - The Wrap-Around Presence

One thing I certainly never thought about doing in life is the day I would walk into the chemo-therapy room - and I would be the patient. I had no idea what to expect or what would be happening to me. I had several surprises in store for me on this day that felt overwhelming.  When I was leaving home that morning, a friend met me at our gate and handed me a huge gift bag with the label “Sally’s hospital boredom gift bag.”  It contained all kinds of little items to help me get through the day. What a joy! I was so touched by her love and thoughtfulness…and it really helped: a devotional book, sweet lozenges, puzzle books to relieve the boredom, and more goodies.

When we arrived at the hospital, I quickly realized I was being treated in a world-class chemo program. Everything was very organized, very professional.

Then there was my delightful nurse, Lulu.  She patiently walked me through everything that happened to me. I’ve experienced some not so patient and not so kind nurses in my life, so Lulu was a true joy! She made me feel secure and cared for.

The steps in chemo-treatment may be mundane but they all have their place:

First. antihistamine in my bum – the right place for that!

Then a long list of IV drips, one after the other for about 6 hours:- Steroid

- Something to line the tummy - Anti-nausea - 1st chemo/2 bags – 3 hours - Saline - 2nd chemo - More saline

The chemo immediately felt “heavy” entering my body. I could feel the effect of it all the way into my legs. I had questions  because of things I was experiencing, and Lulu answered every question. She was so kind, and caring.  What a gift she was.

I was the 2nd person to arrive that day – and the last one to leave 6 hours later.

Most of the people in the chemo-treatment room were alone. That was a surprise to me. It was a comfort to have my husband, Floyd, with me. So many patients came in by themselves, looking frightened and desolate. Some of them looked like they were on death’s door already.

I read, talked with Floyd, napped a bit, snacked, pulled my IV to the bathroom. ☺ It all went by fairly quickly. Someone had sent me a verse from The Passion translation of the Bible that used the phrase “the wrap around presence” of the Lord. During the day I realized I felt that “wrap around” sweet sense of His closeness. A day I dreaded and didn’t know what to anticipate was actually okay. I wasn’t alone in it and He brought unexpected joys to me all along the way.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”        Deut. 31:8

Attention Distraction Disorder

There are many tasks a leader must do, but one stands out above the others. Leaders must focus the attention of their followers. To do that, he or she must focus their own attention. There is a constant battle for the energy and attention of leaders. If a leader does not master the challenge of “attention distraction disorder” they will not lead well. The problem is one of concentration. Christian leaders must be able to maintain focus on three things simultaneously: focusing on yourself and your relationship with God, focusing on the wider world – specifically that part of the world you are called to reach, and lastly, focusing on the “immediate” others in your life – those you serve with.

Focusing upward – maintains your emotional and spiritual well being

Focusing inward – maintains your connection relationally to your natural and spiritual family

Focusing outward – maintains your passion for those you are called to reach

Every leader needs to cultivate this “triad of awareness.” Failure to focus upward leaves you rudderless, failure to focus outward renders you lost in a haze of busyness, and failure to focus on others around you leaves you clueless relationally.

An unfocused leader will be blindsided. An unfocused leader who does not cultivate abundance and balance in the “focus triad” will run in circles, impressed with their own busyness and unaware that others are not truly following them. Or sadly, if their followers are following, they are being misled.

Seven skills and character qualities to overcome “attention distraction disorder”:

1. Determine three to five priorities in your life in order of ranking, and proportion your time for each one accordingly.

2. Set aside time each day for personal reflection and renewal. Cleanse yourself through prayer and confession of negative emotions and reactions to others.

3. Learn to say no. The more responsibility you have the more often you have to say no – so you can say yes to the main things. Do a time map for your week to evaluate how you use your time.

4. Cultivate people around you who are able to say no to you. Find ways to hear the voices of people who are not afraid to express disagreement or differing points of view. As leaders grow in position and power their ability to maintain diverse personal connections suffer – unless they have gathered people around them who will be honest with them.  A wise leader will recognize valuable counsel from people of every social rank within their community or organization. Without such deliberate shift of attention, the natural inclination of senior leaders is to listen only to other senior leaders in their inner circle.

5. Learn self-restraint. When confronted by problems, effective leaders are those who have cultivated inner “traffic lights.” They recognize red light, yellow light and green light signals. They calm themselves under pressure, take time to think about how to respond, and then do so with a clear plan. Leaders who learn the quality of self-restraint shift away from impulse driven behavior to deliberate purpose-driven behavior.

6. Practice creativity and innovation. Do some things differently. Think out of the box. If you want new results you will have to break away from old practices.

7. Turn off notifications on your devices. Put your phone on airplane mode during your personal reflection time. A wealth of information can create a poverty of attention.

Focused attention is the basis of the most essential of leadership skills – emotional, organizational and strategic intelligence. The constant barrage of information and the speed of decision making in today’s world makes it crucial for leaders to maintain attention and to direct the attention of those they lead.

* I am grateful for the the inspiration and many of the insights for this article to Daniel Goleman in an article he authored titled, The Focused Leader, from the Harvard Business Review, page 50, December, 2013

News After Round 3

Hello all, Some moments have felt dark on this chemo/cancer journey I'm on. Strangely, I sense the Lord's care and peace with me continually, and yet there have been moments that feel dark because of the pain and suffering.

While praying and worshiping this morning, I realized that often the "darkness" is simply because I'm in HIS shadow!  I'm not alone, I'm not in a bad place, it's not a sinister darkness.......He's just covering me with His wings and protecting me, staying very close to me.  It gave me a whole new perspective!  I'm safe, I can relax in His shadow and trust in His care for me.  I love that!

I've been reminded that my oncologist told me each round of chemo would get harder, and I would get weaker and tireder.  I think I forgot that detail. :( Thank you for continuing to pray for me.  I definitely need it!  I'm a week past round 3 of chemo.  Round 2 was so much easier than round 1, that I think I expected (hoped?!) round 3 would be "easy" too. Not the case!  It's been rough.  Yesterday was a particularly bad day.  I was feeling low in every way.

I was encouraged with some good news I had when I went in for my chemo this time.  My cancer marker numbers are down, which means the chemo is working and doing its job!  My white cell count was slightly higher too, an answer to prayer.

In a recent update I asked you to pray with us about Floyd going to Jordan for a strategic conference with our International Leadership Team and young leaders gathering from around the world.  They will be ministering in the refugee camps among Syrians who have had to flee their country. And they will be seeking the Lord for how we're to respond and be involved in the needs in the Middle East.

We both feel a peace about Floyd going.  He'll leave shortly after my 4th round of chemo.  We asked the Dr. if I could delay that round until his return, but she said that would not be wise. Because we're seeing good results, she didn't think we should interrupt the process that's taking place.  So we're setting up a system of care for me here while Floyd is away. Thank you for praying with us!  We're so grateful!  And please, would you cover me with your prayers Sept. 25 to Oct. 5, the days Floyd is gone?   Also, please continue to pray for my right kidney to recover and start functioning.

Next week here in Cape Town is our annual staff and leadership gathering for our workers we have sent out over the last 8 years. Please pray for God's purposes to be fulfilled for our time together as we thank Him for all that's been done in the past year, and seek Him for the year ahead.

I won't be able to participate, but Floyd will be part of these meetings. One of our biggest blessings in life are the wonderful people God has brought into All Nations to work with us. Such a gift. It's always special to have these times of gathering together.

I will be focusing my energy for rebuilding my strength to get ready for round 4.  It's nice to be half way through after round 3. :)

Blessings and love,

Sally &  Floyd

The Benefits of Being Part of an International Movement

Churches and missional communities that lack affiliation with an international network suffer as a result.  Some belong to networks, true, but often they are only national in scope.  This lack of association with leaders from other countries creates cultural, strategic, theological and organizational myopia. Lack of multi-cultural and multi-national association creates a silo affect:  members can see the strength of what they belong to “vertically” but don’t see the “horizontal” perspective, i.e., there are many other affective parts to God’s global work.  The result is they are in-grown.

Every church and missional community needs a tribe to belong to, and if they are wise, they choose a tribe with experience and exposure in the nations.  After all, the greatest growth of the church today is not the West but among the “rest.”

Many younger evangelical leaders frown on association with traditional denominations and older missionary organizations – they fear control and irrelevance.

However, it’s a different world today.  National entities in international movements are legally independent.  This allows them to raise funding, set strategies, and create fresh approaches to mission more effectively, while still benefitting from their wider tribal connection.

National affiliates in international movements don’t report directly to a centralized headquarters, but do have the advantage of being cross connected to members who work in the same areas of ministry located in different countries.  This helps local leaders spot new strategies from other nations and thus be able to seize opportunities that benefit them locally – without giving up local ownership and leadership.

Frequency Illusion - It's All In Your Mind

I learned a new term recently:  frequency illusion. Once we notice something that annoys, surprises or pleases us we tend to notice it more and more, even to the point of over weighting its frequency in everyday life.  The way we observe the world is through the lens of our biases, our "frequency illusions."

Trend journalism reinforces frequency illusion.  It is a form of intellectual trolling designed to create the illusion of "breaking news", as if trending is a moral reality.

Courageous leaders with well thought through biblical core values, see through the haze of frequency illusion that social media and "the news" creates in people's minds.  These leaders rather call their followers to the true realities of the kingdom of God.

Things You Shouldn't Say to Cancer Patients

My wife, Sally, has cancer.  Actually, I should say, she is overcoming cancer... and doing a great job of it too.  She is finding joy on her cancer journey.  She looks for joy.  She chooses joy.  And she gives joy to others.  She has bad days and is honest about them when they come, but, her focus is on the good things that God does for her in the midst of her journey. She and I both pray for a miracle but we also keep our focus on the goodness of God. Sally and I are grateful for the support of loving friends.  We have a very caring family (though a long way from where we live in Cape Town – they are in the United States).  We are loved and cared for by an incredible spiritual family too.  Friends, family and co-workers have made the emotional load of cancer much lighter to carry.

I have learned that there is an emotional weight for both the cancer survivor, and the spouse/care giver.

Some people understand that weight, and help lighten the load, while others say or do dumb things to make the load a little heavier.  Fortunately for Sally and I, we have had very little of the latter,  but friends have told us stories... I thought you would enjoy these all too real faux pas.

What not to say...

1.  “My___ (sister, nephew, auntie, etc.) has cancer".  Having someone else in your life with Cancer doesn’t help to comfort this person nor does it help you connect emotionally with them... especially if your person didn’t survive!

My advice:  Don’t mention others you know who have cancer.

2.  “I had cancer and I found this amazing herbal remedy that helped so much.  I think it cured me!  It only cost $150 a bottle.” Vitamins, supplements and proven helps are a blessing if they are a gift.  But ask if you can give them.  Don’t promote or propose weird solutions or remedies that you or somebody else you know used.

My advice:  Don’t give medical advice.

3.  “Did you know that cancer is caused by a root of bitterness?  Is there anybody you need to forgive?  Forgiveness releases healing from cancer.”  At this point it would be hard not to feel bitterness toward you!

My advice:  Ask them to leave.

4.  “God will heal you if you have more faith.”  Enough said.

My advice:  Ask them to leave.

5.  “Wow, you lost your hair.” Duh.  If someone says something awkward about losing your hair they normally accompany the statement with rude staring.

My advice:  Be gracious and change the subject.

6.  “Did you know cancer is caused by eating processed foods?”

My response:  “Then bring me a steak from free-range beef.”

7.  “I brought you a gift.  I just love jig-saw puzzles.  I think you will love this 5000 piece puzzle of a herd of 500 Zebras!  I think it will be so relaxing for you and take your mind off...well, just enjoy it.”

My advice:  Don’t give gifts you are not sure will be helpful or wanted.  Especially Zebra puzzles!

8.  “God told me you don’t have cancer!”

My advice:  Don’t say that.  Pray for that, but don’t say it.

9.  “Drink five glasses a day of wild-grass smoothies mixed with Mongolian mushrooms.  Tastes great and it works wonders.  It does give you gas and bad constipation and stomach cramps, but it works.”

My response:  “Wild what?!!!”

Good to know:   Don’t hug a person on chemo or allow anyone to visit them who has a cold, flu, etc., or who has a family member who is sick. Chemo treatment weakens the immune system and makes a person more vulnerable.  A cold or flu can throw off the chemo treatment schedule and put a person at greater risk for the chemo not to have its intended impact of killing off cancer cells.

What to say...

Below are some things our friends have said or done for us that are a huge blessing.  Just this morning my friend Archie told me his daughter Kaylee prays for Sally every day!  Here’s a few suggestions...

1. Tell the person you care for them and you love them.  It nourishes one’s heart.

2. Say you are praying – if you are.  It always encourages us to hear that.

3. Ask how they are doing.  There are stories to tell!

4. If the person has lost their hair, compliment them on how cute they look, and move on to another topic.

5. Listen a lot.

6. Talk about life.  Laugh.  Catch up on family, and be yourself.  Talk about movies you’ve seen, books you have read, people you know in common.  Talk about everyday life.

7. Bring a meal – but ask what kind of food they like ahead of time.

8. Write encouraging notes, SMS’s/text messages, and send uplifting scriptures.

9. Give them flowers.  They fill a bedroom or house with beauty.

If you want to know more, here are three books that have been very helpful to us:

The Chemotherapy Survival Guide, by Judith McKay and Tamara Schacher.  This book was written by two oncology nurses and was immensely helpful and medically very informative.  Describes what chemotherapy is, preparing for treatment, preventing and coping with side affects, eating right for recovery, getting the support you need, relieving stress, preparing for and managing care, and living life after cancer treatment.

Caring for a Loved One With Cancer, by June Hunt.  Fifty very practical, 1-2 page chapters filled with ideas about how to care for a friend or family member with cancer.

Healed:  Strength for Care Givers and Cancer Fighters, by Angela Peterson.  More from the faith angle but without condemnation.  Uplifting.

Mindfulness

“When you’re mindful… rules, routines, and goals guide you - they don’t govern you.”  Ellen Langer (Harvard Business Review, March, 2014)

The skill of “observation” is a lost art for many leaders.  Observation, or “mindfulness”, is the art of actively learning new things from our daily experiences.

Mindfulness makes you more sensitive to context and culture.  Mindfulness is intentional, but not stressful or exhaustive.  It comes naturally once you develop the skill.

Why is mindfulness important?  You can’t solve today’s problems with yesterday’s solutions. The rules you have been given are the rules that worked for the person who created them. If someone says, “This is the way we do it, learn this until it is second nature”, bells should go off in your head.  If they are speaking about values, that is one thing, but if they are speaking about methods, that is another thing entirely.  Principles never change, but methods always do.

Benefits of mindfulness:

• You learn to observe what others are doing, how they are feeling, and what they are communicating non-verbally

• You pay attention more easily

• You ask better questions

• You learn by listening and observing

• You become more innovative

• You are more fully present

• You are able to take advantage of opportunities when they are available

• You become less judgmental about others

• Mindfulness alleviates boredom

Defining Priorities in Work and Life

Prospering in life comes as a result of the careful combining of work and home. This focus is important in order to ensure you don't lose yourself, your loved ones, and your foothold in life. Those leaders that effectively involve their families in work decisions and activities are healthier people. Those that don’t, face the danger of creating two distinct worlds that cause emotional and spiritual detachment from the ones they love most. Healthy and happy, older leaders are those men and women who have learned to vigilantly manage their own time and energy. Younger leaders don’t think they need balance because they have an abundance of ambition and energy, but the pace of life that is fueled by this youthful zeal, will eventually cause burn out. You can go hard for ten, twenty, even thirty years, but flesh energy will give out at some point. Then what do you have left?

90% of the time you need to say no, so you can say yes to the right people and the right things. Saying yes too often prevents you from having the time to saying yes when you really should.

Many senior leaders have sustained their momentum by staying connected to their families. Their stories and advice for younger leaders reflect their early life choices to build support networks at home and among friends.

Senior leaders who don’t have balance feel they can achieve this balance by constant “juggling,” which prevents them from engaging meaningfully at home or at work. Learn to make deliberate choices about which opportunities to pursue so you can be truly effective in both areas of your life. Leaders who carefully manage their human resource maintain a higher degree of satisfaction in life and are more effective in what they do in service to others.

Adopt or Plant?

Movements of churches tend to emphasize adoptions or new church plants, but rarely can you do both on a significant scale and be successful.  Here is the challenge: whatever existing churches you adopt under your brand, you need to manage. It’s a matter of alignment. If the churches you adopt do not have the same leadership style, ministry philosophy, core values and vision, there will be dilution or conflict, or both.   One pastor here in South Africa confided in me, “Our movement adopted a large network of churches in Kenya. I deeply regret doing so. We inherited a lot of leadership problems that have cost us huge amounts of time and finances. We met some wonderful people in the process, but it has shaped who we are as a movement in ways we did not want.”   Know what you are called to do, and do that well, but don’t try to mix the two approaches. Those who are called to birth and build apostolic movements should be super-cautious about adopting existing churches they did not plant. Every adopted church brings with it a set of expectations, needs, and values that may be incompatible with your calling to focus on “building on no other mans foundation.”

Letter From Sally

Hello, I was encouraged and inspired by a story a South African friend sent to me recently. It dates back to 1902 during a war here in South Africa. Some women were sitting in the dirt in a concentration camp - hungry, discouraged, praying for the war to end. One of the ladies glanced at her open Bible and looked at Matthew 29:31:

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."

The lady shares this verse with the other ladies, and as she does, a sparrow (called a mossie here in South Africa) came and sat on her shoulder. The ladies had their hope restored that night.

In May of that year, a peace treaty was signed to end the war. The same lady from that group of women sitting in the dirt approached the wife of the president and requested the Bible verse about the sparrows be reflected on the country's one cent coins.

From 1923 to 2002 two sparrows (mossies) were embossed on the one cent coin making South Africa the only country in the world with a Bible verse as an image on its coins.

During World War II, parents gave the one cent coin to their sons who went to war as soldiers to remind them of their value in the Lord's eyes - He knows every sparrow!

Years later, a South African lady went to the U.S. to help rehabilitate soldiers injured in the Vietnam war. She gave each soldier a one cent sparrow coin and told them the story, reminding them He cared about them and their injuries.

I've reflected often on this story during some of my hard moments. The God who knows every sparrow......and knows the numbers (or lack of them right now in my case) of every hair on my head.......is so mindful of every thing I'm walking through. I love how much He cares!!!

My next chemo is on Tues., Sept. 2. The chemo days seem to come up quickly. I find myself dreading going through it all again, and yet realizing I'll be half way through with this round. That's important for me to keep in mind.

I've had several "good" days this past week - so, so wonderful! I've tried to build up my energy and strength to get ready for the next round. I don't bounce back as quickly as I did when I was younger, and yet I feel the Lord strengthening me!

It'll be a wonderful day when I can speak of all this in the past tense. Until then, thank you for standing with Floyd and me, praying for us, encouraging us, believing with us. We are so grateful! I find myself thanking Him for caring about each sparrow......and caring for Sally. :)

With loving gratitude,

Sally & Floyd

How to Build Longevity on Your Team

As a young leader I was impressed to learn that well-known evangelist Billy Graham was surrounded by a team of long serving friends and co-workers, most of whom had been with him since the beginning of his campaign career. The team began to be formed in the mid-1940’s, and stayed together for over half a century.

Team familiarity and trust influences how a team performs. The trend both in the church and corporate world is fast turnover and rapid advancement, which leaves little room for permanence on teams. Churches and businesses alike suffer because of this trend. But research is showing that longevity on teams pays rich dividends in more than one way.

My impression is that teams, like individuals, experience learning curves. They do better as members become familiar with one another. Roles may change within a team of secure individuals, but if egos are out of the way, the benefit of adjusting to one another’s strengths and limitations creates a learning culture.

A Harvard Business Review article on longevity on teams (December, 2013, page 28) suggests five factors are responsible for the effect long serving teams have on their organization:

1. Co-ordinated activities – team members that have learned to work together carry those relationships into future projects and activities

2. Learning where the knowledge lies – team members learn who has what strengths and rely on those strengths as they work together

3. Responding to change – team familiarity provides a stable environment and allows for change to happen in the least threatening manner possible

4. Integrating past knowledge with future innovation – creative solutions are usually the result of combinations of knowledge and experience from different people on the team

5. Capturing value – strong, united teams attract people and resources

Instead of focusing on solving conflict on teams, it is more helpful to focus on the life-giving strengths that hold teams together. Build on what gives life to your team, not what problems the team has to overcome to stay together. Life attracts life. Vision attracts vision. And healthy people attract healthy people.

Take a few moments to reflect on what your team does well. Share your reflections with your team, and ask the others to contribute to the list. Brag on those who have helped build the team. Give some thought as to how you can cultivate your strengths as a team.

Speak and Lead from the Heart

Recently I listened to a well-known leader speaking on leadership.  It was passionless.  Flat.  Carrying no emotion.  Just information.  It made minimal impact on the audience.  Great content, but it left me wondering what he really believed. Skepticism will be transformed to belief when your listeners believe that YOU believe in what you are saying.  Delivering a deeply emotional talk will be powerful if the problem is clearly described and the solution you speak about is compelling.  Don’t hold back from imploring people to respond to a cause you are passionate about.

People will be willing to make difficult changes in their lives if you speak from your heart.

People follow passionate leaders, not positions of leadership.

Speaking from the heart allows you to lead from the heart and will inspire people to follow you.

“Your job as a leader is to tap into the power of higher purpose – and you can’t do that by retreating to the analytical.  If you want to lead, have the courage to do it from the heart.”   Gail McGovern, President and CEO, American Red Cross.

Sally's Update

Dear Praying Friends, You've been praying.......there have been answers!!  My white blood cells went from dangerously low to almost normal in 2 weeks.  That was pretty amazing, and a wonderful answer to prayer!  I couldn't have continued my treatment without that.

With my 2nd chemo treatment, I'm now a third of the way through.  That seems much less daunting than thinking of how much is left. :)  The side effects from the 2nd round seemed easier......definitely an answer to prayer.  I can imagine the "shock" of all that chemo going in the first time must have been a jolt to the body.  They adjusted my anti-nausea and sleeping meds., which has been a big help.  I've had more pain this time, but less of other symptoms.

My lovely photo quilt that I mentioned in the last update (from our daughter, son-in-law and grandkids) was oohed and aahed over in the chemo room!  It was so special.  I felt surrounded by love. Lots of the patients and nurses were so touched by the thoughtfulness of it from family so far away.  I've attached a photo below of being "hugged" by family during my chemo treatment.

I also have a new look......the bald look.  It's been an adjustment.  I was prepared mentally, but the emotions really hit me when I kept looking in the mirror.  You can see my new look below too.  I waited a few days to share the look because I didn't want to get my computer wet while I was typing about it. :(  I'm not quite sure why some people choose this look - it feels so much more vulnerable!  But I have been told I have a nice shaped head!  :) I'd have never known!!

We've been having a mild winter with lots of sunny days.  I know it's not just for me, but it feels like a "gift."  I just seem to feel better when the sun shines!  A number of people have told me they've prayed for that.

Some new prayer points:

-  We're working with the airlines canceling all our tickets for our planned travel of the next few months. Please pray with us for favor for that.  Some are easier to work with than others!  Please pray that we won't lose too much on all the cancellation fees.

-  Please pray for the evenings for me.  They seem to be the hardest.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired and my energy is low, but that seems to be when some of the worst side effects hit.  I also feel vulnerable emotionally at night.

While I'm going through this personal story, the ministry side continues on.  We send a new team to Jordan this week to work with the refugees. We have an important leadership meeting coming up there in Sept. too. I'd love for Floyd to still go.  Please pray for wisdom in deciding about that.

Many of you write to ask how I'm doing.  I'm so touched by that.  But please know, too, that I'm trying to not bombard you with too many emails. I know this is a long season!  I have months to go in treatment.  If you'd prefer not to receive emails, please let me know.  I understand!!!  I'm trying to send "breaking" news, but not over do it.

I have come to a new appreciation of the fellowship and prayers of the saints in these days.  Family, friends, prayer partners - more precious than gold!  Thank you for loving us and standing with us in this season. With love and gratitude, Sally & Floyd Ps. 18:18  "They confronted me in the day of my calamity; but the Lord was my support.  He brought me out into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me."

I'm looking forward to that "broad place" He has for us in the future.  He's so faithful to bring good from hard times!

First Impressions

Biased first impressions create hierarchy in groups.  They are driven by perceptions about age, race, gender and education.  True leaders counter biases and influence the group to see differently.

How do we re-set our first impressions?

• Rethink generalization of people

• Repent of negative first impressions of people

• Pray a simple prayer about your reactions to people:  “Father, let me see what you see about this person, and allow me to feel what you feel about them.”

• Rephrase negative or thoughtless statements about people

Words have power.

Rethink,   repent,   rephrase...  choose a more generous attitude toward others.

Urban Culture Transcends Borders

My urban journey has gone from Kabul to Amsterdam to Cape Town and as I lived in these very different places, I became fascinated with the rise of cities.  I was provoked to develop a theology of the city, which I have reflected in my book, 'Seeing the City With the Eyes of God'.

Here is what I learned about urban culture:

• Urban cultures are like mountain tops... everything flows down from there to smaller towns and rural areas regardless of national borders and language differences.

• Urban cultures are trend setters.   What happens in cities today happens in the rest of the world 5 and 10 years from now.

• Urban cultures are multi-ethnic.  When I moved to Amsterdam there were 114 languages spoken in the city.  Today, there are more than 180 languages spoken there.

• Vast segments of worldwide urban culture identify with American youth culture via TV, music and movies.

• This identification is producing a hostility and backlash in certain parts of the world, namely the Middle East and the Muslim world.

• Urban young adults are vastly different from their rural counterparts.

• Urban sub-cultures are like villages stacked on top of each other, connecting via ethnic similarity and language, not urban geography.

• Cities have personalities... some are financial centers, some are fashion and cultural trend setters, and still others are the center of gravity for spiritual appetite and curiosity.

The Focused Leader

I learned an essential leadership skill from a mentor.  The skill of giving undivided attention.

This man always looked people in the eye, smiled and listened attentively.  He did not allow others to interrupt.  He worked at remembering peoples names.

People were important to him -  and it showed.

Great leaders focus... inwardly... on others... on the world around them.

Leadership is not just a set of skills.  It starts with an attitude that says "you are important".

Most leadership programs focus on what a leader should know and do, but the true starting point is focusing on people.

Turn off your smart phone, blank out the activity around you and make the person in front of you feel important by giving them what is most valuable to you...  your time and your undivided attention.

Africa's Time is Now

African nations are beginning to take responsibility for Africa – instead of looking for handouts from the West. Africa’s economy is growing faster than that of any other continent.

However, there are 50-plus countries in Africa, so the growth needs to be looked at country by country to get an accurate understanding of what is happening in Africa.

African economies are synergistic. To look at Africa in a fractured light is to miss the dynamism of the whole. China certainly has not made that mistake. Presently, China has trade agreements with every country in Africa.

One example of the growth of the African economy is the explosion of mobile telephone usage across Africa. The Praekelt Foundation has focused on this phenomenon (www.praekeltfoundation.org ) and thus has become an incubator on mobile technology which improves the health and well-being of millions of African people living in poverty. There are now more than 450 million hand phones in use in Africa, almost one for every two people in Africa.

How to Prompt Trustworthiness in Others

When we feel and express gratitude towards others it fosters a sense of trustworthiness in them, which in turn, leads to trustworthy behaviour.  Even the most broken person has potential for greatness.  When we see that potential, we convey it in our attitude.

Be intentional about expressing belief and gratitude in people and you will inspire them to hope in themselves...even when hope has been destroyed in their past

Who Can You Trust?

God's trust in us is a gift based on His grace.  We should trust people for the same reason... His grace.  After all, everything outside of hell is grace.

Most people don't rise above the expectations of others unless there is someone who believes in them, who really thinks they are worth believing in.

Be a leader who believes in people and you will attract them to your cause and inspire them to grow.   Be a leader who sees the potential in others and draws them into their own personal greatness...