Gazing At His Goodness

This past week Floyd has been peaceful and in a pleasant mood.  He seems to be interacting with the care team more, which is encouraging. His small steps of improvement seem to be consistent these past weeks.  It’s so good that he has been in a cheerful mood - lots of smiles......even a few "cheeky" ones.  He's tried to tease some of the carers a bit.

On my side, overall the after effects from round 2 of chemo have continued to be milder than round 1.  But there are days and nights that have been hard.  It's a comfort to know I'm being carried by many prayers.

"I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing the Lord's praise, for He has been good to me."  Psalm 13:5,6

In the hard moments, I keep my gaze on His goodness and unfailing love!  He is faithful.

"The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."   Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.  After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper."  1 Kings 19:11,12

There have been times in the last year when the Lord has spoken loudly and clearly to me - almost as through a megaphone......definitely getting my attention.

In recent weeks, it seems like He's speaking in gentle whispers to my heart.  It has been so gracious and tender.  It's the "strength" I can handle right now.

I've been very touched to see that God is mindful of our condition, what we need, and what we can cope with.  How wonderful and personal He is - so loving and caring.

"Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.  Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."  Psalm 25:4,5

On this unexpected journey that we've been on, one of the things that fills my heart with gratitude is how the Lord has so lovingly, faithfully, gently, and personally taught me His truth and ways.  I could never have navigated my way through this time without that.

My sleep is greatly impacted by the chemo.  I'm often awake in the night.  I'll lay quietly and talk to the Lord.  So I have to add to that verse that my hope is in Him, not only all day long, but also all night long.  During the night is probably when I'm having some of my sweetest conversations with Him.  I'm glad He doesn't "slumber or sleep" - He's on call 24/7!

As resurrection Sunday approaches, I can't help but pray for a resurrection touch for Floyd!!  My heart continues to trust in our wonderful Father, and in His plans for Floyd - even as I also feel freedom to ask for miracles.

Blessings to each of you as we enter this week of thanking Jesus for His death and resurrection for us!