Grief is Personal

My friend of 40+ years, Rita Pretorius, went to be with Jesus a few days ago.  She was a sweet support to me during the years that Floyd was sick.  Her prayers, encouragement, and recruiting others to pray meant so much to me.  She even came to visit me during that time.  She's a "queen of hospitality" in YWAM and will be greatly missed.  I'm glad she's at peace after the last few months of suffering.

I've realized that I'm in a season of life, probably because of my being older, that many friends and relatives are going to be with Jesus.  My heart feels the loss with each one.  I've been learning a lot about grief, and thought I'd share just a few of the things I've learned.

-  Grief is personal.  My grief is not like someone else's.  It's unique to me.  I shouldn't compare my grief to how someone else processes their grief.  I just need to walk out my own journey.

-  There's no set timetable for grief.  It usually takes time - and that's okay.  Sometimes I think it's over, and then it hits again.  Often times a special day or a memory will bring the grief alive in my heart once more.

-  Grief isn't bad.  It isn't something we need to rush through.  Grieving is part of the healing we need.  If we allow our hearts to grieve, it becomes a balm to the loss.

-  There's no right or wrong way to grieve.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.  Grieving doesn't mean we're weak.  It's normal.

There are countless articles and books written about grief.  I've read quite a few.  But the important thing for me has been that I just need to "do grief" my own personal way.....walking with God along the path.  His comfort, His presence, and His counsel has gotten me through.

"Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows."  Isaiah 53:4

"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart."  Psalm 27:14

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  Matthew 5:4

We don't grieve like those "who have no hope."  It'll be a grand reunion someday when we join together before the throne and worship the Lord!

Don't Give Up

I'm so grateful for all the faithful prayers being lifted up for me around the world.  At times when I'm facing something difficult - or I'm feeling discouraged - or I'm not doing good physically - it makes me feel so encouraged to know that others are praying for me!  It's such a comfort.

Last week I had an answer to some of those prayers!  I had my checkups to see what happened from my radiation therapy.  It was good news!  The tumor has shrunk, and the cancer hasn't spread.  We wished the tumor had shrunk more - or even disappeared - but I'm so grateful that it shrunk!!  Will keep praying for further results.

Someone recently told me that I shouldn't keep asking for prayer for healing.  God has clearly said "no" since I'm not healed.  I should accept that, and just learn the lessons He has for me.  I thought about it, and realized I don't agree with that perspective.

I have tried to learn every lesson the Lord has had for me on this long unexpected journey.  But I've also felt to keep asking for healing.  I think we're given that freedom to ask, and ask repeatedly, in the Word.  I think of the parable of the persistent widow who kept asking the judge for her request.  She didn't give up.  She kept asking.  

In this parable I think Jesus was teaching His disciples, and us, to never give up!  He teaches them the importance and power of persistence and resilience.  We will all face hard things - disappointment, illness, loss, suffering - but we shouldn't give up or lose hope.

In persisting and enduring, God will never give us more than we can bear.  We may sometimes feel it's "too much," but God is with us and knows how much we can endure.  The trials strengthen us, even as we pray for deliverance.  We need to keep our eyes on Him and trust Him.  He will help us endure.  I’ve said before, when God says "no" there is a better "yes" to come.  But I don't see anywhere that He tells us to stop praying and asking for deliverance to whatever our situation is.  He can change our situation in an instant.  In the meantime, our response is to trust Him.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." 1 Corinthians 10:13

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."  Psalm 23:4

"God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord."  Psalm 27:14

I'm grateful for the results from my check up.  And I'm thankful for all the wonderful things the Lord has taught me these last 9+ years.  And I'll keep asking for His healing touch throughout my body.  I love Him and trust Him.  God is so good!

The last few days have been a bit rocky.  I think I'm impacted by the cold, wet weather (everyone is - winter just won't go away!) and by some pain I've had.  I think I was recovering from the stress of all my checkups too. 

I was talking to the Lord about all this, and was reminded to be thankful in all circumstances.  As you know, that's not always the easiest thing to do.  I realized I can keep it simple - just saying "thank you Jesus" in the midst of whatever is happening.  The more I said it, the better I felt.  I could feel joy coming in the midst of the hard things.  The simple expression of gratitude helped to brighten my situation.  I've just kept thanking the Lord day by day.  It has given me strength to keep going in spite of things dragging me down.

And - I have soooo much to be thankful for.  At one point this week, I just started speaking out all the things I have to thank the Lord for.  It took quite a while as God has been so good to me.  And, again, as I did that it helped lift the heavy things from my heart.  Gratitude is a powerful thing!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good."  Psalm 107:1

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9

"Trust in Him at all times - pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."  Psalm 62:8

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Joy, strength, comfort, help, healing, and grace come as we simply thank Him!  I've known this, but this week I learned it again.  I'm so grateful for His help with every single thing I walk through.  He is so faithful!