Trusting Jesus

This week Floyd has had good days and bad days as he continues to fight this chest infection.  Hopefully he is getting to the end of it now.  His therapists worked to custom make a splint for his immobile right wrist.  Without movement, it has been turning inward. This new splint will help correct that.  His new, specialized wheelchair arrived this week too, so he was able to be out of bed sitting up in a chair again.  I know that must feel so good to him.

"And I'll keep on carrying you when you're old.  I'll be there, bearing you when you're old and gray.  I've done it and will keep doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you."  Isaiah 46:4  The Message

Floyd has beautiful gray hair.  And he's getting old.  I'm grateful the Lord is with him, carrying him!  What a comfort to know He doesn't abandon us......never!

Floyd listened intently to things being shared by one of the carers this week and to the worship music.  He very purposely moved his left arm in a way he never has.  That was encouraging.  We celebrate every small improvement we see. :)

One friend encouraged me in perseverance.  "That's what it comes down to - our firm and unshakable resolve to keep interceding for Floyd until the answer comes.  Until those golden bowls of prayer are full and are poured out over Floyd.  Perseverance in the face of contrary indications, of doctors who don't see reasonable prospects, of those who are complacent, or in the drag of repetition/tiredness/unbelief!  We persevere like the old heroes of the faith - "not seeing the outcome, but welcoming it from a distance."  Hebrews 11:13

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial."  James 1:12

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12

Until the Lord brings things to a conclusion - we persevere in faith and prayer.  And we keep trusting Him!

On Thursday I was playing some worship for Floyd from a YWAM gathering in Kansas City last week.  Our "roots" are in YWAM. We went on our first outreach in 1965.  I joined full time in 1966, and we led our first team together just 3 days after we got married in 1967. We worked with YWAM in various parts of the world until the beginning of 2000.

YWAM will always be part of who we are.  We're so grateful for all we learned during those years.  Our hearts are forever linked.  So it was very special to me when there was prayer for Floyd at the gathering last week.  

As I played the worship music, I lifted my hand several times.  Because of his weakened condition, Floyd's left hand/arm has been very still and quiet recently.  His arm hadn't moved at all, but then he watched me raising my hand and started trying to move his arm.  I wish you could have seen him.  He worked so hard!  It wasn't easy.  His arm was shaking terribly from the effort.  And slowly, very slowly, he raised his arm into the air - then again and again.  It felt like a "sacrifice of praise."  I think the Lord would have been pleased.

As I watched Floyd respond, I kept thinking of the life we've had together serving the Lord.  Good times - hard times, but all of it such a wonderful treasure of walking through all these years together in serving Jesus.  We are so blessed and rich in Him.  It was a joy to worship the Lord with Floyd.  I've missed times like that.

"Worship the Lord your God; it is He who will deliver you."  2 Kings 17:39

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.  Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs.  Know that the Lord is God.  It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.  Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.  For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."  Psalm 100

How very good and faithful He is!  I'm so glad Floyd and I could worship Him together.

As time goes on, and my strength is less……..I find it hard when I face a new situation that seems overwhelming, or heavy, or sad, or just plain impossible.  I find the emotional impact on my heart is harder and harder as time goes on.

A few days ago I faced one of these situations.  My heart felt like lead.  The emotional impact of what happened felt like a storm battering my soul.  For a few minutes I just felt I was drowning in the weight of all this over these months.

I sat crying out to the Lord.  I so clearly heard Him speak to me – “Just trust me.  Speak out your trust in me.”

So I did – I sat quietly, with tears running down my face, and told the Lord I trusted Him.  I was honest.  I told Him I didn’t understand.  I told Him it was too big for me.  I told Him I loved Him and I trusted Him…….but I couldn’t make it if He didn’t intervene.

I can’t explain it, but as I sat there telling the Lord all this…….the heaviness and weight lifted.  He truly took it from my heart!  The situation didn’t change, but the weight in my spirit was gone. 

After talking with Him a little longer, I dried my tears, and continued on with what I needed to do.

I have continued to do this as various things have come up, and He lifts the burden each time.  I’ve done this before – I’ve told Him that I trust Him from day one of this journey, but something new has happened.  He has stepped in in an even greater way to carry the burden and help me keep going.  Maybe in the past I’ve waited for things to build up and get heavy…….now I just speak out my love and trust to Him continually.

"How enriched are they who find their strength in the Lord; within their hearts are the highways of holiness!  Even when their path winds through the dark valley of tears, they dig deep to find a pleasant pool where others only find pain.  He gives them pools of blessing filled from the rain of an outpouring.  They grow stronger and stronger with each step forward until they find their strength in You, and the God of all gods will appear before them in Zion." Psalm 84:5 – 7 The Passion Translation

He is helping me find strength in greater measures as my weariness grows.  He is bringing the refreshment I need from His deep wells.  I am grateful for the water of refreshment He is bringing to my soul.

Once again, He's shown Himself so very faithful!

Contentment Comes From Him

Floyd has had a rough week this week.  He has been battling with a chest infection, and it’s really made him feel miserable. He has done better as the week’s progressed.  By now he is looking better, stronger, his eyes are clearer, he is more alert, and he has much less coughing.  The antibiotics are clearing up the infection.  So happy about that.

One morning this week when I was praying for Floyd, I was thinking about his gift of communication.  I've always seen it as an anointing in his life from the Lord.  Even after all these years of hearing him speak, he's still one of my favorite preachers.  (I may be a little bit biased!)  It saddens me that he is now stuck in a silent world of not being able to communicate.  I pray for "release" for him!

A number of intercessors have been telling me that they feel there is still a spiritual battle being waged for Floyd's recovery and restoration.  I don't fully understand what this whole journey has been about, but I know God has been at work.  The worldwide wave of prayer that has been lifted up has had His hand upon it.  I am praying for fresh victories.

"Summon your power, God; show us your strength, our God, as you have done before." - Psalm 68:28

It is hard not to get tired and weary though.  It's been a long journey.  I’m so grateful for the many that have not given up praying for Floyd and God’s purposes.  I pray for fresh strength and perseverance for each of us.  Andrew Murray said "intercession is our highest calling."  May He help us fulfill that calling!

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." - Isaiah 40:29

We need that!  

Sitting with Floyd, being with him, praying for him is always hard on my heart.  I see the frailness of his current condition, and I remember the healthy, vibrant man he was just a few months ago.  My mind always drifts to wondering how this will all turn out.  I've been comforted by a couple verses the past few days.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord your God." - Isaiah 43:1-3

"No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame." - Psalm 25:3

I don't know the end of all this, but I know the God who holds it in His hands.  I can trust Him.

I shared with friends a few weeks ago that I was so unsettled - wishing I had understanding of what God is up to.  He spoke to me that peace doesn't come from understanding, but from spending time in His presence.  I've tried to do that, and, as I have, He has been speaking to me about contentment. 

Contentment has to do with that peace that comes from being with Him.  You can actually be content without being happy!  When I had cancer, I felt enveloped in a peace from the Lord.  I wasn't "happy" about the cancer, but I was at peace.  So I was content.

I think that's why the Bible talks about being content in all circumstances. We may not be happy about the circumstances, but we can be content, at peace.  It's a peace "that passes understanding" (Philippians 4:7) that can only come from God.  It's not a human emotion, feeling, experience......it's from Him.

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12: 9, 10

That's quite a list!  How in the world can one be content with all that?  I have to be honest and say that there have been many days on this journey when I've been upset, disturbed, concerned, anxious.  And I've felt very weak!

I guess what I heard the Lord saying to me is that He wants to teach me a new level of being content in spite of all these circumstances. I'm going to do my best to try and learn this lesson.  I don't like the circumstances, but I want to find my peace and contentment in Him.  I need that to make it through this time!

As the Lord has been speaking to me about contentment, I have remembered a time years ago when I was learning to be content in another season. I've learned through the years that God often takes a lesson He's taught me in a previous season - and takes it a notch deeper in the new season I'm walking through.  I think that's what's happening now.  He is taking the lesson much further down into my heart!

There are some basic choices/attitudes that the Lord has shown me that help in being content:

• I need to trust Him!! God is good. He's sovereign. He knows what's best for me. He can instantly change my/our situation. If He chooses not to, there must be higher plans or purposes that He has in mind. He has an eternal view of what is best for me, for Floyd. If I don't fully, 100% trust Him - I'll never be able to have peace and contentment as I walk through this season.

• I need to be grateful.....even in the midst of a very hard season. "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - That's a big challenge! Gratitude/thankfulness will keep my spirit sweet and tender towards Him in the midst of the hard season. It changes my focus from the situation to God. When I keep my focus on Him, it releases grace to handle the hard things.

• I need to work with God in this hard season, not against the trial or against Him. I need to do what I'm trying to do now - ask God what He's wanting to teach me on this journey. He won't "waste" this sorrow! My inner growth (my walk with Him) is more important than the outward hard situation.

God has our times and seasons in His control.  He sees the big view.  Learning contentment in the difficult situation is a spiritual weapon against the enemy!  He has no leverage to try and use the trial for his plans.

"There is great gain in godliness with contentment." - 1 Timothy 6:6

When my heart is content - when I'm at peace because of spending time in His presence - then I can face what each new day brings, with His help!  I can trust Him.  I can be grateful even though it's hard.  I can work with Him in the difficult time.

Finding Blessing In The Hard Places

Last week we met with Floyd's doctor and in the course of our discussion, I mentioned some of the miracles Floyd saw during his time at the first hospital.  He had 2 very dramatic ones:

1. an MRI had shown multiple pockets of pus and necrosis in his legs. He was rushed into emergency surgery that they didn't think he would even survive. Once in surgery, they couldn't find anything that was shown on the MRI. It was all gone.

2. 2 scans had shown that Floyd had a brain stem stroke. They did an MRI to get more information. There was no sign of the stroke on the MRI, and they said he had a normal brain for a 71 year old man with no brain damage.

The doctors were stunned both times.  They called it "inexplicable."  They said it left them stuttering and speechless.

I have to say "thank you" again to the Lord for these miracles! 

God has been so good to us, to Floyd.  We're grateful for these miracles, and we dare to ask for more!  We ask Him to completely heal and restore Floyd.

Floyd has been sleeping a lot this week.  I've been concerned as to what this means, but the Dr. assured me that his body is recovering from the emergency surgery that he had a couple weeks ago and all that it entailed.  She said the sleep is bringing renewed strength and healing.  I was very glad to hear this.  Since this conversation Floyd has been gaining strength and being awake more and more. He was in his wheelchair for a good amount of time yesterday and held his head up by himself for a while.  It's nice to see that strength in his neck.

As we have been talking to Floyd’s doctors again about the brain/body alignment that Floyd still needs, the reconnecting of brain and body after the stroke disappeared, we continue to keep praying and trusting for that.

And we want to keep praying for that for the Body of Christ worldwide - to be realigned to God's plans and purposes in our world today!

Someone sent me an encouragement this week about waiting in Him - being patient, being aware that He's doing things I can't see, trusting in His timing/not mine, and continuing to keep my focus on Him.  One phrase really caught my attention - "Never judge My works by what your eyes see, but by the promises I have made to you."  I choose afresh each day to keep my eyes on Him and trust Him.

"Lord, I have always trusted in your kindness, so answer me.  I will yet celebrate with passion and joy when your salvation lifts me up.  I will sing my song of joy to you, the Most High, for in all of this you have strengthened my soul.  My enemies say that I have no Savior, but I know that I have one in you!"   Psalm 13:5, 6  (The Passion Translation)

I also read recently that "difficulties are often blessings in disguise."  I've certainly seen that to be the case through the years, so it's made me ponder our current season of "difficulty."  Has the last 6 months been a blessing in disguise?

I don't know if I'd say it quite like that, but I sure see a lot of blessings:

• The incredible outpouring of love, support, and encouragement has blown me away!

• The massive amount of prayer being lifted up is hard to comprehend. A friend of ours said he's never seen so much prayer for one person. I'm sure God intends for much good to come from all these prayers.

• The sweet closeness of the Lord as I've walked this journey has been more than I could have asked for.

• The undergirding grace of the Lord to survive this time amazes me every day.

• The generosity of friends, and those we don't even know, has helped to cover Floyd's ongoing care.

• The answers to prayer for Floyd already has humbled us and amazed the doctors.

The list could go on and on.  I'm thankful, so very thankful, for the blessings He has brought our way in the midst of difficulty.  Maybe the whole journey will end up being a "blessing in disguise."  God can certainly do things like that!  He's an expert at bringing good out of bad.

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."   Jeremiah 29:11

He "gives beauty for ashes."   Isaiah 61:3 

Covered In Prayer

Floyd is becoming more attentive when awake.  We are seeing more and more cognitive things happening with him.  They're all small, but good.  He seems to be aware of things, make a conscious choice, and then do something.  In fact, he is actually becoming quite feisty!  The nurses keep telling me that it's good - that he needs that for recovery.  I hope that's true!  He managed to pull all his blankets and pillows off the bed, and he continually tries to sit up.  I'm amazed he's not exhausted.  He's wearing the care team out!

After so many months of weakness and lethargy, it is wonderful to see him have all this energy.  

A sweet thing happened this week.  The carer was playing worship music and holding Floyd's active hand.  At one point in a particularly worshipful song, Floyd let go of his hand and lifted his hand up very peacefully into the air for about 10 seconds.  I can't help but think that Floyd was expressing worship to the Lord.

I’m very grateful to the Lord for the facility that is Floyd’s ‘home’.  The atmosphere is very warm and inviting - not the typical hospital feel. The staff are awesome!  I walked in once and found a nurse praying for him, another time one was singing to him, and all of them treating Floyd so kindly, warmly, and lovingly.  The care and treatment has been wonderful.  They are professional, and very caring!

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul."  Psalm 23:1-3

I’m so grateful our Shepherd is taking care of Floyd and my needs.

I know we couldn't have gotten through this season without the prayers of so many people from around the world!  They have been so faithful and diligent in sticking with us on this long journey, and lifting us to the Father in prayer.  Many times when I'm tired or overwhelmed, I feel the sweet reminder of the Spirit that someone, somewhere is lifting me to the throne of grace.  What a support and comfort that is!

I've mentioned several times that I think God is "up to something" through this season of concentrated prayer from the 4 corners of the globe - from individuals, to prayer groups, to whole churches interceding.  The prayers are crossing over so many denominational lines, and so many countries are represented.  What an awesome picture of our spiritual "family" it has been.  I know God is doing something much greater than just praying for Floyd.  I have a feeling that in years to come we'll look back on this season, and be amazed at what God was doing.

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."  James 5:16

We See A Mess, He Sees Beauty

This week Floyd has been working so hard on trying to pull himself up into a seated position.  He is so determined.  The cognitive ability this is requiring on his part is so encouraging to see!

I was with him for his therapy and tilt table sessions one morning this week.  I was so impressed with what a good job the therapist is doing.  I am amazed at the level of mobility she is maintaining for him!  As he recovers more and more, this will be such an advantage.

Someone asked me recently, when I say Floyd is "alert" - what does that mean?  That's a good question!  When Floyd is awake (eyes open)......he is sometimes very distant.  His eyes are open, but he's not looking at us.......he's somewhere else.  Maybe with Jesus?  :)

Other times, he is awake......and he is looking right at us.  Following movements in the room.  Listening.  Sometimes responding with facial expressions or sounds to what we're saying. That's what I mean by "alert."

I’m so glad to be able to say that the “alert” times are increasing!

Forty two years ago, we were leading the busy ministry of "The Ark" in Amsterdam, Holland.  Matthew, our son, was a couple weeks old. I hadn't been sleeping well with a new baby and with all the noises of the city, and was very tired.  "Tante (Aunt) Corrie" (Corrie ten Boom) invited us to come spend a few days at her home in Haarlem to get some peace and quiet.  That was a wonderful blessing!

While we were there, my precocious daughter, Misha, spoke up at a mealtime and said "it's my mother's birthday!"  Tante Corrie smiled, and left the room for a few minutes.  When she returned, she gave me a little gift.  It was a two-sided embroidery piece - one that she often used as a sermon illustration when she spoke.

The embroidery is of a crown.  One side is a mess of threads - all tangled, knotted, and confused.  The other side is a beautiful crown.  She explained that as we go through life, we usually look at our lives like the messy side of the crown.  We see the problems, the mistakes, the questions, the confusion.......and we think our lives are a mess.  We are insecure, discouraged, and tend to have a low self image of who we are.

But, she explained, God's looks down upon us as His beloved child.  He sees beauty.  He sees who He has created us to be.  He sees the lovely creation He is forming us to be - in His image.  He knows we'll get beyond the "mess" with His help, and we'll become all that He destined for us.

She gently explained that I was going through some of life's "rough spots," but God loved me and was pleased with me.  He saw that I was His beautiful daughter.

It was such a special, timely, encouraging gift - that I have treasured all these 42 years since.  I had it framed so that you can see both sides.  It has had a place of honor and focus in our home, wherever we've lived, all these years.  I have used a picture of it at the top of this post.

I've been very tired these past days.  I’ve been praying and asking God for fresh strength and grace.  I remembered a story I read in a church bulletin:

A 3-year-old was telling his mother about his Sunday School lesson.  It was about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo.  "They got put in the fire," he said, wide-eyed.  "Did God help them?" the mother prompted.  "No," the little boy said.  "He fell right in with them."

I couldn't help but smile, of course......and then thank the Lord that "He falls right in with us."  I'm so very grateful that He has been with me each step of this journey. 

Because He is with me each step,  I'm able to talk to Him about my heart and "explain" my tiredness… telling Him how hard it is to keep going with no end in sight.  Wanting to know if there is an "exit" sign coming up.  Asking if He can give me any understanding of what's ahead.

I've been reading some things in my quiet times that have helped me process these thoughts.  I've realized that understanding in itself doesn't give peace!  Being in His presence gives peace.  My peace comes from Him, trusting in Him - not in knowing what's ahead.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5, 6

Getting my thoughts refocused on Him has restored my peace!  And it has strengthened my hope and faith! 

Today I want to thank Him, not only for the peace He's put in our hearts in the recent days.......but to thank Him for the "peace that passes understanding" (Philippians 4:7) that He has given me all these months. Through all the trauma and roller coaster days of the last months, there has been a bedrock of peace from Him under it all.  On the hardest of days, I've had a sweet sense of peace from Him.  I praise Him - and say there is no other explanation except for the sweet ministry of peace from the Holy Spirit.  That peace from Him, His sweet presence - has carried me through!  Thank you Lord!

Walking Into The Fire

Floyd’s strength is increasing!  He is pulling himself up more and more each day, and he is also managing longer times on the tilt table.  He started at 30 seconds, and is up to 5 minutes now.  Good improvement!

On Wednesday it was Floyd's birthday!  I had a sweet morning with him.  The All Nations community had recorded singing happy birthday to him. When I played that, his face registered lots of emotion and he got teary.  Our daughter and son-in-law got up in the middle of the night to Face Time with us to bring wishes to him!  I also read a number of greetings and messages to Floyd from all over the world.  I kept telling him how loved and prayed for he is.

I'm grateful for that special morning with my gentle giant - my best friend for most of my life.  I'll keep praying for healing and restoration!

2 Cor. 4:17 - "This light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison."

I love the promise of that verse, but when you're in the middle of the affliction it is neither light nor momentary!  It seems just plain hard.  When someone sent me that verse as an encouragement, I wasn't sure if it was encouraging!  :)

There have been some very hard times in the last 5 months.  There have been times when I wondered if I'd survive.  I was praying with some friends one day, and I told them "I just don't know if I can make it!"  But He's helped me, and I have survived.  I don't know what's still ahead, but I'm trusting Him to keep helping me.  

A consistent theme from prayers all over the world at the moment is "restoration."  I am joining with those prayers, and trusting God for healing and full restoration for Floyd.

I find myself choosing daily to keep focusing my heart to work with God's purposes during this journey.  I don't want to draw back out of weariness. I've found there are several responses I can have during times like this:

-            I can try to "ignore" how hard it is.......but, if I do that, I will miss out on the support and help I need to make it through.  Honesty and openness is so important during a difficult season.  I've been so grateful I can share through the updates I write and have the support of so many people's prayers!  I know I can't make it alone, and the love and care I have received through this long journey has been incredible.  Some days I am so tired that I wonder if what I am sharing in the updates makes sense, but I have been graciously encouraged to keep writing them.

-            I can "grit my teeth" and force my way through the hard time.  But that will only last for a short period of time.  I could have never made it that way through this long journey.  And the stress from this kind of response only makes the hard time harder.  I know - I've tried it before.

-            I can choose to learn and grow and receive God's help.  That is what I have needed to do daily (often many times a day!) - and I am finding I need to keep doing in my tiredness.  Because the journey has been long, I just want to rest - not quit, but draw back.  I find the Lord saying to me to keep pressing in!

He's definitely encouraged me to take care of myself and get the rest I need - but that is different than drawing back on the learning and growing and pressing in for all He has during this time.  When I've had a hard day, I've felt Him encouraging me not to give up.  To not see a setback as irreversible.  To not see the difficulty as insurmountable.

Years ago I read a story about a family caught in a forest fire.  I went back and looked it up in my notes to refresh my memory.  They were in the path of a rapidly moving forest fire.  They jumped in their car to try and outrun it, but they quickly saw that it was impossible.  So they got out of their car and ran into the fire!  This way the fire would pass over them quickly.  They were burned, pretty badly, but they survived!  If they had kept running in front of the fire, they would have been killed.

I feel like I've needed to keep walking into the fire.  It's difficult - I feel like I have some scars from the burns......but it's not killing me.  With God's grace and help, I'm making it through the fire.  He is faithful!

Don't Rush The Process

Floyd is doing good this week.  His eyes have been clear, and he has been alert off and on.  His upper body strength is getting better too, and he tries to pull himself up quite a bit.  He still struggles with coughing up phlegm, and we continue to pray that it will ease up.

The doctor and therapists have said that they are seeing improvement, which is so encouraging! 

Two sweet friends came today and gave Floyd a haircut.  I'm so grateful for their kind service!  He was beginning to look like he was back in his hippie days. His hair was getting so long.  Now he looks dashing again! :)

In the early weeks of this unexpected journey we are on, my right thumb got caught in our security door.  I was opening the door and our dog, Sossy, was in a hurry to get through it.  She pushed on the door, and my thumb got caught in it.  It was quite painful, and my whole nail turned black.  

I'm a very "down to earth" person, and I find it's often the simple, little, every-day things in life that "speak" to me.  That has been the case with my injured thumb.  I know it can sound a little crazy, but I love how God speaks to me in simple, crazy kinds of ways. :)

It's about 4 months since my injury, and my nail is about half way grown out. Watching the slow growth, and seeing the blackness slowly disappear, has reminded me daily that healing sometimes takes time. You can't rush the process.  My nail has looked ugly - I often find people staring at it when I'm talking to them.  But there's nothing I can do about it.

I know my nail will heal.  It looks like it will take about 7 - 8 months.  And, in the meantime, it's not very pretty.  Floyd's healing isn't coming quickly, and the suffering he's going through isn't pleasant to watch.  But I'm trusting that the healing will come in God's perfect timing.  He knows how much time is needed for the process.

People keep asking me how I'm doing.  Some say they pray for me more than they pray for Floyd.  I hope not, but I'm very grateful for those prayers.  I must confess that some days I wake up wondering how I'll make it through the day.  This journey has been long, and I do get weary.  But I try to make it one-day-at-a-time, the grace has been there each day.  God has been very faithful in sustaining me.

I read a quote recently: "Sometimes, the happiest people have had the hardest lives, but they choose to be happy because they want to make a good life.  It takes a strong person to be joyful and to be kind." When this unexpected journey began, I told the Lord I wanted to keep my focus on Him - that, whatever happened, I didn't want to be angry, bitter, or motivated in a negative way by the pain.  I asked Him to help me!

In Nehemiah 8:10 it says: "the joy of the Lord is your strength."  I have certainly found that to be true!  But we sometimes miss, as one friend pointed out to me, the first part of that verse.  "Do not sorrow."  There are, of course, times for sorrow and sadness......but we can't stay there or it destroys us.  I have cried lots of tears, but then I've turned my eyes to Him for the inner joy that I need to make it through.  He has been my strength!!  His loving care has put a deep inner joy in my spirit.  How thankful I am for that joy from Him that is truly my strength each day.

I long for this journey to come to an end, and for Floyd to be healed.  But I have trust and confidence that the Lord will help me, day by day, to keep going until His plans and purposes are accomplished.  He is faithful!

Often the joy comes as we rejoice and worship Him.......as we wait in His presence for His enabling grace......as we meditate on the truth of His word and His promises to us.  Choosing to rejoice and walk in His joy before we see the breakthroughs we trust Him for takes faith.  I'm asking the Lord for that kind of faith!

I was thanking the Lord today for all the lessons He's teaching me on this unexpected journey.  The tender lessons have made this a rich time in spite of the pain.  Only God can bring sweet goodness out of bitter pain. How awesome He is!

Someone has encouraged me to bury my anxieties in His "mighty bear hug of assurance."  I thought of that today amidst all my concerns for Floyd.  I'm glad He has broad shoulders that I can lean on!

"Pile your troubles on God's shoulders - He'll carry your load, and He'll help you out.  He'll never let good people topple into ruin."  Psalm 55:22  -  The Message

May Our Valleys Be A Blessing

My journey with Floyd's illness continues to be a constant learning experience.  I've gone through seasons in my life when I've asked the Lord to expand my capacity - spiritually, emotionally, the ability to handle stress, even physically.  I remember as a young wife, being married to Floyd (who is such a visionary!), and thinking to myself - "I can't keep up with him!"  I asked the Lord to stretch me, to help me grow.  I didn't want to just trail along behind him.  I wanted to be by his side, a true "helpmate," to see those visions become a reality.

The Lord has answered that prayer many times through the years.  He has expanded my capacity.  There were times when I could almost physically feel it happening.  There were also times when I thought I was crazy to have prayed that prayer!!

But through it all, God has been faithful to answer my prayer.  The things I now live with as the "norm" would have probably "wiped out" the young, 18 year old woman I was when we married.  I didn't even know I could be stretched so much!  But God has done it.

I don't remember praying that prayer asking the Lord to stretch me recently :) But He's sure doing that on this journey!  There have been days when I've felt like a puddle on the floor from the weights, the sadness, the tears I've cried.  And then I feel the Lord picking me up, putting His strengthening hand on my back, and saying "you'll make it."  

And He's right - with His help, I'm making it.  This past Tuesday marks 21 weeks on this journey!  God has helped me day by day, moment by moment.  He's my rock!  He has been so faithful.

Someone said to me - "what we go through is to bless others."  That got me thinking.  It's hard to imagine a time like this blessing others, but God, in His goodness, can do that.  I immediately think of all the prayers being prayed - what an unleashing of blessing that is into the world!!  God is linking our hearts together through all the prayers.  God is doing something in aligning His Body with the purposes on His heart.  God is stretching our capacity to trust Him for more!  He is bringing blessing through this season!

Maybe that should be one of our prayers:  "God help us to bless others through what we are walking through."  May the prayers being lifted up pour out blessings of His love, saving grace, healing, compassion, and goodness into the hearts and lives of those around us.

God is doing something in all our hearts through the prayers being lifted up for Floyd.  He's stretching us, and He is wanting us to "bless others."  May He help us do that!

"I will bless you......and you will be a blessing."  Genesis 12:2

This week Floyd has been a little more alert each day but on Wednesday we had a very different day!  His eyes were the clearest, most focused I've seen them since this all started.  He was very engaged, listening carefully, hearing, understanding, and taking in every sound.  He was very tender, some tears in his eyes. 

He tried repeatedly to pull himself up with great effort.  I supported his back, but didn't help him.  He was quite strong, and lifted himself farther than he has before.  He finally wore himself out and went to sleep.  I was very encouraged, and had renewed hope seeing him this way! 

I’ve felt all through these months of prayer that God is wanting to do something more than just heal Floyd.  I’ve asked for prayer for the Body to come into alignment with God’s heart and purposes.  I’m sure there are other things happening in the spiritual realm that I don’t even know about.  But – we can’t stop praying for all the things God is doing through this season of focused prayer.

We’ve fought quite a few battles in prayer in the last few months.  I think we’ve done everything we know to do in spiritual warfare.  In Ephesians 6:13 it tells us “having done all else, stand.”  Through our prayers, we are “standing” on His promises, goodness, and faithfulness as we continue to lift our petitions to Him on Floyd’s behalf and for all of God’s purposes to be fulfilled.

When I am resting I have to keep my mind occupied otherwise I just go over and over all that has happened.  So I try to immerse myself in a good book!  I've been reading a novel about a coffee house in Kabul, Afghanistan.  It's been fun because I recognize every place that is mentioned (Chicken Street!), and so many of the words and phrases are familiar.  It's brought back lots of good memories of our years there......so long ago!  It's also made me think how grateful I am for the wonderful life we've had in serving the Lord!  I never dreamed when I told Floyd on our wedding day that "I'd go where he went" that he would take me all over the world!  :) God has given us a wonderful life.

Only He knows what is still ahead!  I trust Him, and I know He will continue to faithfully be with us.

Praising Him In Our Pain

In the whirlwind of the last few months of Floyd’s illness, I have not had it on my mind to post anything on our website.  Then our website was down for a while being changed and revamped.  Now that it is back up, I thought I would try to post some news about our journey once a week.

This past week Floyd has gone through days of being really awake and busy with his active left arm, and then days of being really distant and sleepy.  He has struggled with horrible phlegm off and on which is something that we are really praying will clear.

The therapists have him up in his wheelchair several days a week, and they have started putting him on the tilt table on the days when he is strong enough.  He can only manage that for very short periods as his body is not used to being vertical after all the months in bed.

There are times when Floyd seems really frustrated with his situation. With him not being able to communicate, it is very difficult to know what he is thinking and feeling.  We continue to pray that the Lord would comfort him, and give him the grace that he needs to endure this.

This week a friend told of hearing a man preach after his mother, a very godly woman, passed away.  He was thinking of the joy she must be having in heaven as she worshipped Jesus with all the saints and angels.  The Lord spoke to his heart - "you know there is praise that you can give that they can't give in heaven.  It's the praise that you offer in the midst of pain, darkness, confusion - when you can't see all that the Father is doing."

I have been offering up that kind of praise this week.  A bit hard - but He's worthy!  And I trust Him completely.  

Someone also said to me that God "has Floyd in His grasp."  I loved that visual image.  I could just see God's big hand holding my gentle giant in the palm of His hand......holding him firmly, but not too tightly - never letting him go.  I know Floyd is in good hands!!

And while he's holding Floyd in His palm - I am grateful that He is holding my hand and guiding me along.

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you."  Isaiah 41:13

I absolutely could not have made it through these months without Him holding my hand.  I've told friends that I don't know how people could go through something like this without the Lord.  And then I had the strangest thought - "I help people even when they don't ask."  And, you know, I think God does that!

When we forget to ask.  When we think we don't need to ask.  When we don't think God cares.  When we get too busy to ask.  When we're distanced from Him and think we don't have a right to ask.  When we don't even know Him.  I think He's still there holding our hand.  He loves us in all these situations.  He loves us even when we aren't close to Him.

I thought of how many families I talked to while Floyd was in ICU - many of them didn't have a relationship with God.  And a number of them told me they felt God "with" them in the time of crisis.  How big and awesome is His heart that He reaches out to us in our need even when we sometimes don't reach out to Him.  I remember thinking how great His heart was to do that.  And I prayed for these dear ones to come to know Him personally during their trial!  I was even able to pray with some of them.

I love a God who is so big hearted.  It means there will always be room for me!  And He'll never let me go!  He'll always be there holding my "right hand."  I miss holding hands with Floyd, but I'm so grateful God is there holding my hand.  What immense comfort that brings.

In my quiet times the last few days, the Lord has been focusing my thoughts on thinking and thanking.

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise - think about these things." Philippians 4:8

It's so easy to let my thoughts wander to things that aren't on the above list - especially when I'm tired.  When I see Floyd's suffering, I can worry. When I think about the unknown future, I can be distressed.  When I try to face all the problems at once, I can be overwhelmed.  If I'm not careful, I can accept the worry/distress/thoughts of being overwhelmed as "normal" or acceptable in this journey we're on.

But God is saying I can control those reactions by focusing my thoughts on what is true, just, pure, things worthy of praise.  I have the power to rise above these things with my thoughts!  I just need to make use of that power God has given me.

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you."  1 Thessalonians 5:18

There is also wonderful power in giving praise and worship to Him in every situation and circumstance - thanking Him. 

I'm trying to be careful to think and thank by His guidelines!  I know it will make my load lighter.

Floyd

Some of you may be wondering why Floyd has been so 'quiet' for the past while, some of you may have heard...Floyd has been in ICU fighting for his life since 23 February. It was a terrible oversight for me not to have posted anything about it, but with all that has been going on I just didn't think about it - please forgive me. Floyd has been ill with a very serious bactrerial infection which led to him going into septic shock. It has been a very hectic time with many challenges for the doctors to deal with but the Lord has been faithful and has kept His hand on Floyd and he is now stable.

There is still a long road of recovery ahead but we trust and believe that God will perform miracles of healing for Floyd. Sally spends everyday at the hospital with him and there are many, many people all over the world standing with Sally and praying for him - the Lord is building a wonderful testimony for both of them out of this difficult time.

Julie (Floyd's Personal Assistant)

Finding Meaning in Times of Crisis

"Leadership is proven through dark and stormy times. Extraordinary leaders find meaning in times of crisis. Such times are opportunities to become stronger, more confident leaders. These transformative events are not always caused by God, but He uses them to shape us. Dark and stormy times are leadership crucibles that give us opportunity for deep self-reflection about our values, our leadership philosophy, and our purpose.

Here are the skills Jesus modeled when His disciples were facing the storm:

• Engage people to discover meaning in the storm. Jesus and His disciples were “in the same boat,” as the saying goes. It was a time for them to learn from each other. To the degree that leaders can constructively and sensitively engage others, they can help them find meaning from a crisis. This means listening, comforting, and looking to God together.

• Discover and use a compelling voice. Jesus spoke compellingly to His disciples. Those who speak with confidence, openness, peace, and wisdom in the midst of a storm, learn and grow from the experience and encourage others to do the same.

• Act with integrity of purpose. Jesus was not impressed with the power of the storm. Leaders rise above fear, above pain, and lean hard into God and His Word to act with integrity of purpose. Dark and stormy times are not times to use religious clichés (“God knows,” “It’s all in the Lord’s hands,” etc.). Jesus saw meaning in the storm. It was that meaning that guided Him, not the storm itself or the reaction of His disciples to the storm.

• Cultivate “adaptive capacity.” This is the most crucial skill a leader can possess to lead others through a crisis. It is the ability to grasp context, to see the big picture, to learn from the storm itself, and to step back and gain perspective. Effective leaders learn to adapt - some gain perspective from prayer, others from asking good questions, still others draw on past experiences. Like Jesus, 
strong leaders are not emotionally reactive. Rather than getting lost in subjective personal responses, they increase their capacity to connect with others through difficult circumstances. These leaders remain hardy and hopeful despite disaster and difficulty.

I was pastoring in the United States when the 9/11 terrorist attack took place in New York City. I quickly consulted with a close friend, then called the congregation together for prayer. We agreed that a national time of tragedy was not a time to reason things through intellectually, cast blame on the enemy, look for “sin in the camp,” or simplify such a complex issue as a spiritual attack. I led the congregation to respond from the heart. We responded through prayer and scriptural reflection to acknowledge our feelings. Through that posture of honesty, we looked to God for comfort and to guide our attitudes and actions.

As a result, some members of the congregation decided to reach out to their Muslim neighbors and co-workers to assure them of their love and the love of Jesus. Others visited Muslim schools and community centers to take food accompanied by notes of friend- ship. We also ran an advertisement in the local newspaper to share our love as followers of Jesus with the Muslim community.

God used our responses to touch the hearts of many Muslims, open up deeply meaningful conversations, and be an example of how a city should respond in one of our nation’s darkest and stormiest times.

List a few stormy times you have walked through, or walked others through. Using the four skills Jesus modeled, assess your responses. Spend some time in prayer, asking God to help you remember and use these skills when tough times happen. Also keep in mind the four things we should not do in stormy times.

Four Stormy-time Dos

1. Engage people to discover meaning in the storm.

2. Discover and use a compelling voice.

3. Act with integrity of purpose.

4. Cultivate adaptive capacity.

Four Stormy-time Don’ts

1. Reason things through intellectually.

2. Cast blame on an enemy.

3. Look for sin in the camp.

4. Simplify a complex issue by calling it a spiritual attack.
"

If you would like to read the rest of this book please click here to find Leading Like Jesus on Amazon Kindle or here to find a paperback copy from YWAM Publishing.

When People Try Make You King

"In the inner depths of every leader, there is a desire to be needed, to be a hero, to fix things. It appeals to our ego to be important. But be warned - if we find our significance by being put on a pedestal, it is only a matter of time until the same people will pull down the pedestal, and we will come tumbling down with it. The same people that make us kings will depose us when it suits them. Some of the very people who sought to make Jesus king, later turned on Him and chanted, “Crucify Him.”

Rather than seeking significance, serve people because God calls you to serve them - not because it meets a need in you or in others.

There is a thin line between being compelled to meet people’s needs and being called by God to do so. A discerning leader will find that line and not step across it.

In 1 Samuel 8, the people of Israel demanded a king, wanting to be like the other countries around them. God gave them what they asked for, but in doing so was creating a test for the king (Saul) and a test for the Israelites as well. Saul failed his test and God removed him. The people failed their test and God punished them. May we learn from this lesson and not insist on a human king or elevate any leader to a God-like status. As leaders, may we resist any such acclaim thrust upon us. May we trust in God alone.

Jesus responded to the demands of the people who wanted to make Him king by withdrawing to be alone. Perhaps the best place to be when we are tempted to be a king to people is to be alone with God and find out what it is in us that is attracted to stardom or power.

As a younger leader, I found myself becoming political about my leadership role. I defended my position in the organization I served with at the time. I had an unhealthy need for the right title. I was offended when I was asked to change my title to one of “less stature.” 
I am ashamed of my behavior when I look back now on those days. There were some dysfunctions in the organization, but that is no excuse for my immaturity.

Thankfully, God used those experiences to refine my character. It was a season of ministry maturing and I learned valuable lessons during that season. I am thankful for the leaders over me and with me at the time who set an example by responding with greater maturity and patience.

What was it in me that fought over those things? God was exposing my insecurities and my selfish ambition. I am thankful He did so, although at the time, it was not easy to humble myself and acknowledge my sinfulness.

I recall one co-worker saying, “Wow, these things are really important to you. Why is that?”

It was that piercing question that helped me step back and question myself. Thank God for people who are not enamored with having a king over them, who simply speak the truth.

Do you receive the truth when spoken to you? Perhaps there are steps you can take to encourage others to tell you when they disagree with you.

What steps can you take to build accountability and transparency in the community or corporation you lead?"

To read the other 39 Chapters of Leading Like Jesus click here to get it on Amazon Kindle OR here to get a paperback copy from YWAM Publishing.

Don't Do Miracles By Yourself

“Notice that Jesus did not do the miracle of feeding the five thousand directly Himself, but by working through His disciples. He performed the miracle, but involved others in its completion. Even though their faith was low, He still used the disciples. He trusted them to play an important role in spite of their unbelief.Jesus gave the disciples the bread. They distributed it to the people and later gathered the leftovers. Surely Jesus could have performed this miracle easily, and more dramatically, without their help. But instead, He deliberately involved the disciples in a learning experience. As they participated, their eyes were opened to see the miracle taking place.

There are some key leadership lessons at work in this story: • Leaders are more effective when they involve others. • Disciples don’t need to be mature to be involved. • Self-discovery is more powerful than teaching discovery. • Disciples learn more by doing than by watching. • There are different learning styles for different people.

Jesus didn’t just want to perform a miracle; He wanted to train His followers to believe. He was developing men of faith, not running a feeding program. He wanted His leaders to have compassion fueled by faith, so He engaged them by having them participate in the miracle. He could have done it faster by Himself. He could have done it more efficiently by Himself. But He chose to trust an important responsibility to His men. Those who are prone to perfection find it very difficult to operate by this principle. These are the people who often say, “It’s easier just to do it myself.”

If you have a very strong predilection for neatness and excellence, allowing others to be involved who don’t share your standards will be a severe test for you. The goal of good leadership is not always getting people to do things the “right” way, but instead, training them through the process. Here is a challenge for those with high standards: there are times you may have to sacrifice getting things done your way in order to encourage more people to be involved.

Jesus didn’t preach a message of “excellence,” but He did speak often about the need for more workers. Multiplication of workers for the harvest is not incompatible with high standards. But leaders create cultures, and a culture of control for the sake of excellence can be a huge hindrance to mobilizing workers for the harvest. Control can be an underlying issue if a leader is reluctant to involve others in important tasks. If you are a prisoner of your personality, you will insist on doing things your way, no matter how it affects others. Take time to do some honest assessment. Ask yourself and others who work with you: • Am I a controlling leader? • Am I proficient at involving others? • Do I get great satisfaction from seeing others learn by doing?"

To read the other 39 chapters of my new book 'Leading Like Jesus' get it from Amazon Kindle here. Or order a paperback copy from YWAM Publishing here.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross - Quote...

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Leadership Tests: No One Likes Them and We All Go Through Them

"God tests leaders. In the scene from Jesus’ ministry to the multitudes in John 6:4-6, Jesus asks a seemingly innocuous question to test Philip.Later in the Gospels, we learn that Philip was most likely an accountant, a man who dealt in exact numbers and precise records. When Jesus tested Philip, if we listen carefully, we can hear an unwarranted response from Philip to Jesus: “We don’t have enough money to do this...we only have two hundred denarii and besides, this is not in our budget.” What Philip did not say is, “I trust you, Master.”

A leadership test is a crucible that, by its nature, is intended by God to be a transforming experience. God does not initiate every human situation that tests us, but He uses them all.

As a 21-year-old leader, I asked God one morning to teach me “His ways.” Earlier that morning, I had read these words from Psalm 103:7: “He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel.” I realized I knew little of God’s ways, especially His ways in developing leaders.

I have since discovered that there are indeed certain “ways” God works in and through leaders’ lives. To discern His ways is to ease the path of our service to God. Neglecting to discern His ways is to wander through life blindfolded, unable to see the path ahead. A leadership test is a crisis, big or small, that God uses to teach us to depend more deeply on Him. Testing is one of the least understood aspects of God’s ways. We often ignore God’s testing in our lives, to our great detriment. As leaders pass through tests, they discover God’s goodness in new dimensions. They gain confidence that He can and will meet them in the crisis experiences of life.

In his crucial leadership book, The Making of a Leader, Robert Clinton says, “Not only does God meet the leader in the situation, but He does so with a solution that is tailor-made for the leader. The overall effect is a more confident leader.” God-orchestrated tests in leaders’ lives usually produce one of two results: drawing them closer to God, or pushing them further from God. Identifying the nature and purpose of the tests can help us move toward God, instead of away from Him. But that is a choice we must make for ourselves - God will not force us to trust Him.

One way to view the Bible is as a collection of leadership biographies that narrate the various kinds of tests God takes leaders through. By identifying and naming the tests we go through, we recognize that we are not alone in our experience and that God has good reasons for allowing us to go through tests. Most importantly, it gives us perspective. In 2 Corinthians 1:8-10, Paul describes the lessons he learned from the difficult tests he passed through: “We don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally - not a bad idea since He’s the God who raises the dead!” (The Message)

Below are the components of unique tests we go through as individuals and the common tests most leaders go through at some point.

Components Of God-Appointed Tests: • Difficult Circumstances (A Crisis) – If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a test. • Desired Response – God wants us to seek Him. • Delight – God delights in our growth as we develop deeper dependence on Him. This is the reward He gives us for passing the test.

Common Test For Leaders: • Rejection – Dismissal by friends, family, or trusted co-workers • Isolation – A wilderness time of loneliness or confusion • God’s Silence – When God does not speak • Integrity – To be true to our convictions no matter how hard • Hearing God’s Voice – Knowing it is God speaking • Obedience – Doing what God says, no matter the cost • Laying Down Our Rights – Not insisting on having our way • Word Test – Obeying God’s direction to us • Faith Test – Believing God in spite of overwhelming odds

All leaders are tested, but not all recognize the test and its importance for their development as wise and faithful leaders. It is hard enough to go through the test, but even more difficult to go through it and not have an understanding of what the test is.

At one point in my life, I went through an isolation test. I lived in a beautiful part of the United States, the Rocky Mountains, and was surrounded by close friends, yet it was a test of isolation nonetheless. I didn’t know what the test was at the time, but I sensed God was up to something. I often cried out to Him for understanding about the nature of my test. I knew about leadership testing, I understood God’s ways, but I lacked a personal, Holy Spirit revelation about the nature of my test. Many times I prayed: “Please Lord, just show me what the test is, Lord, and with your help, I will pass it.” Th
en one day a friend visited my wife and me. “I wondered what’s happening in your life, why you are stuck out here in the mountains, and now I know,” he stated emphatically. “You are isolated. God has isolated you!” In that moment it was like a light was turned on in my soul. I was going through an isolation test. I loved living in the mountains, but it was still a “wilderness” for me spiritually. I began to study the people in the Bible who experienced significant periods of isolation. I got perspective from the Bible as to why God tested leaders with the isolation test.

An isolation test occurs when a leader is separated from normal involvement with people, work, or ministry - often for extended periods of time - but life carries on. On a physical level, isolation can result from sickness, conflict with others, depression, or ministry or moral failure. Isolation can be a way of God cutting a person off from normal outlets of activity to put pressure on their soul. God uses periods of isolation to create new levels of dependency on Him. For some of us, we can continue in our normal place of service, but still experience a profound sense of isolation. Some periods of isolation are a result of God withdrawing His grace, and as a result, deep levels of frustration are experienced. God uses the “holy frustration” caused by isolation to draw us to Him. At times, He uses the frustration to prepare us for changes He wants to bring about in our lives. Some of those changes are internal in our character or identity, and in some instances, the change can be a career or geographical move.

We learn an imperative lesson from Jesus about passing our tests. No one has ever been tested to the degree Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane. He is our supreme example of passing tests by being in total dependence on the Father. He prayed in the garden, “Father, let this cup pass from me, but nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.” Are you prepared to pray this same prayer of surrender that Jesus prayed in the garden?

What major tests has God taken you through in your life? Take time to make a list of those tests. Put names on them, such as “isolation” test, or “rejection” test, “forgiveness” test, etc., and then write the significant life lessons you learned (or did not learn) as a result of the tests. 
I suggest you read the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis as another example of a leader who was tested and what God accomplished in his life as a result."

To read the other 39 Chapters of my book, Leading Like Jesus, please click here to find it on Amazon Kindle or, to get a paperback copy from YWAM Publishing, click here

Imperative People

"Another way to describe the religious leaders of Jesus’ day would be “imperative.” Imperative people must be in control. The Pharisees who confronted the lame man who Jesus healed on the Sabbath are a prime example. Imperative people:

• Are uncomfortable with people whose ideas are different from their own

• Have an inborn craving for control

• Are driven by duty

• Hate to admit they are wrong

• Get irritated when people make “mistakes”

• Do important jobs themselves because someone else might not do them right

• Create dependency on themselves

• Act superior but feel inferior

The Jewish leaders who opposed the paralytic that Jesus healed were concerned with only two things: conformity and control. It didn’t matter to them that a lame man was healed. Their petty concern was that he was carrying his bed on the Sabbath.

It’s as if they were saying, “Shame on you, healed man. Wait until tomorrow to be excited. Don’t carry your bed now that you can walk...just lay there and be calm!”

Obviously, these imperative people were not focused on the right thing. They were more concerned with their petty religious traditions than the joy of a man whose lame legs were made whole. 
They followed the “letter of the law,” but disregarded the Spirit of Truth. They read God’s Word but had no understanding of its true meaning. The Scriptures were a pretext for them to control and manipulate others.

One of the greatest challenges you will face as a leader is imperative people who don’t want to yield their supremacy over a church, school, classroom, or work department. Imperative people feel strongly obligated to direct the behavior of other people - beyond their mandate. They have an inner need to command, to exhort, or direct the lives of others. Imperative people are a bane to leaders who want to get things done for God.

When Jesus healed the lame man, He modeled acting according to the motive behind all biblical truth - God’s love for us. 
The Pharisees, and many Evangelical Christians still today, fall 
into the trap of trying to follow the letter of truth; they try to obey the Bible without fathoming the love of the One who gave us the Bible. Perhaps worse yet, they issue judgment when others do not act in accordance with their personal interpretation of biblical truths.

When more weight is given to literal interpretation of the words written to convey biblical truth than the intent of the One who gave us that truth, it ends up being more man-centered than God-centered. Obeying the letter of the law is a matter of physical action, but obeying the Spirit of Truth requires more than just outward action - it involves a loving attitude of the heart and mind.

To refrain from adultery is obedience to the letter of the law, but to exercise restraint in one’s thought life is obedience to the Spirit of Truth (e.g., not lusting in one’s heart for another man’s wife, or any woman or man for that matter).

Great leaders don’t try to monitor or control the behavior of their followers according to the letter of the law. Instead, they seek to motivate obedience from the heart by equipping people to act as independent adults, not dependent children. Healthy, independent adults can think for themselves; children need their parents to think for them.

The teachings of Jesus are revolutionary because He taught obedience to the Spirit of Truth. He didn’t annul the Ten Commandments, He expanded them, revealing their spiritual intent. He didn’t annul the law against murder, but taught us not to hate or judge others from the heart.

In the same Spirit as Jesus, mature spiritual leaders empower their people to look at problems from a biblical perspective, then spiritually discern the intended application of biblical truth for those specific circumstances. The best teacher in town is not a human being, but the Holy Spirit. As leaders, our followers have the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit within them, the Spirit of Truth, to teach and guide them as they apply biblical truths to their lives.

My father used to say to me, “Son, if you are going to get on your knees to pray through your conviction about something, stay there long enough to get that conviction for yourself and not everyone else!”

Though I grew up surrounded by imperative people in our conservative Evangelical church, I am so thankful my dad was mature enough to see through the superficial religious veneer of many of his peers.

Dad fought his way through the rubbish of imperative religion to find a deeply felt, but lovingly held, set of convictions. He was beloved as a pastor because he was not judgmental when parishioners came to him about an alcohol problem or confessed that their daughter was on drugs. Dad was deeply compassionate when a single mother was overwhelmed and depressed by the burdens of caring for two or three children alone. Dad had convictions, deeply held biblical convictions, but he held them with love. He gave others space to come to their own beliefs.

To apply these truths to my own life, I had to learn the difference between following the letter of the law versus the Spirit of Truth. It means being flexible rather than rigid; being a person of conviction, but not imposing your convictions on others. It means giving others freedom to apply biblical truth for themselves - with loving accountability.

Most of us have some imperative characteristics. It becomes a weakness when we allow them to disrupt our relationships with family, business associates, and friends. When that happens, we need to back off and learn how to keep a potential strength - leading with conviction - from becoming a damaging weakness.

To live in freedom, imperative people must yield to these truths:

• God is absolute, we are not. Give others space to come to their own convictions.

• We are not responsible for people, God is. Trust the Holy Spirit to correct, convict, and guide others.

• Cultivating relationships is more important than being right. Live from the inside out, not the outside in (i.e., from the heart, not the head).

Freedom is the key word here. Imperative people have to learn to allow others to be themselves, and - this is sometimes even more difficult - to allow themselves to relax and simply be themselves. 
Freedom from being an imperative leader means influencing others without controlling them. There is a time and place to clarify expectations and commitments, but there is a line between doing that and becoming the religious police. It means cultivating contentment in your heart about your convictions and allowing others the same freedom.

If you recognize imperative tendencies in yourself, here are some steps you can take toward freedom:

• Identify any controlling or judgmental inclinations you might harbor and humbly acknowledge them to others.

• Understand how the drive to control others has worked in your life to the detriment of others.

• Yield to God’s change in your life through repentance, confession, and forgiveness.

If you would like to read the other 39 Chapters of my new book, Leading Like Jesus, you can find it on Amazon here.  Or you can buy a paperback copy form YWAM Publishing here.

Leading Unlikelies

"Jesus loves terrorists. He loves Muslims. He loves rebels, critics, Democrats, liberals, gays, socialists, Communist comrades, Republicans, sassy teenagers, Goths, pot smokers, and ex-cons. Even worse, He wants them in His church. He even wants them on the front row of your church. In John 4, Jesus reached out to a crass, sleeping-around woman, and then went with her to the village to reach her friends as well. Jesus led a lot of “unlikelies.”

Jesus’ Lot of Unlikelies: • Zacchaeus – Jesus invited Himself to the home of a treacherous 
tax collector, not worrying about public opinion. • Woman Caught in Adultery – Jesus forgave an adulteress without first insisting that she confess her sins and make things right. • Peter, James and John – Jesus hung out with rough fishermen, synagogue rejects, violent terrorists, and soldiers of the occupational forces. • Simon the Zealot – Jesus called an urban terrorist to be on His team. The Zealots were an illegal political faction, committed to the violent overthrow of the Romans.

Jesus was born in Bethlehem but raised in Nazareth, a Galilean fishing village. He recruited a crew of fishermen - unlikely leaders among the young men of Galilee - as His first disciples, the future leaders of His movement. He didn’t start with graduates of the best Torah schools or followers of the most respected rabbis as His first disciples. He modeled the principle that it is better to raise up insiders than to import outsiders.

A pastor friend recently told me a story of welcoming a known prostitute to his church congregation. At a church function for young people, she stripped down to a bikini and jumped in the swimming pool with the rest of the youth swimming at the party. Watching some older parishioners in his church looking at her with wide eyes and hard stares, he decided to prevent the certain judgment they were going to visit on the woman. He took off his shoes and jumped in the pool with her...clothes and all!

There are unlikelies all around us who have dismissed the church but are fascinated with Jesus. The most secure and courageous leaders are willing to risk rejection from the religious to reach the unlikelies.

Consider your circle of relationships. Is there anyone you might have overlooked for leadership training and development? Make a list of the least-likely candidates for leadership mentoring. Ask the Lord if you have overlooked anyone on that list.

If you would like to read the other 39 Chapters in my new book 'Leading Like Jesus' please click here to find it on Amazon Kindle. Or you can order a paperback copy at YWAM Publishing here.

Connecting and Chemistry

“The lady who has become known as the “woman at the well” is a mystery to us. We don’t know her name. We only know she was of a snubbed gender and a despised race. Yet Jesus connected with her and something remarkable transpired. Through this story, we learn about the value of connecting with others - this ability is sometimes called emotional intelligence. People don’t connect easily with frowning, emotionally sensitive, intense, defensive leaders. We can only lead to the degree that we can emotionally connect with people. Leaders who are out of touch with how they come across, who lack emotional intelligence, are limited in their effectiveness.

There are four components to leadership “connectedness” we can draw from the story of the Samaritan woman at the well:

1. Self-Awareness – Jesus was secure in His identity, which gave Him the confidence to step over racial and religious barriers to connect with the woman at the well. He recognized and understood His own moods and emotions and did not allow them to hinder His ability to connect with people. Put simply, He was aware of His own actions, words, and feelings, but focused on others. 2. Self-Management – Jesus was able to recognize and control any negative emotions or presumptions that had been passed on to Him regarding Samaritans. He was in control of His moods and impulses. Jesus was prepared to challenge the accepted norms of racial and gender separation that dominated the Jewish religion. Healthy leaders can self-manage their lives. They are not dependent on public opinion (or even close friends) to do the right thing for others. 3. Healthy Empathy – Jesus had the ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people. He perceived the discomfort and guilt of the woman at the well. He had developed the character quality of relating to people according to their needs, rather than His own. 4. Social Skill – Jesus was proficient at building and maintaining relationships beyond the cadre of disciples. He enjoyed close relationship with the disciples, but was not dependent on them alone for friendship and company. He was accessible, non-exclusive, and truly cared about all people, not only His inner circle.

Why is the leadership lesson of connection and chemistry so important? Simply put, you cannot lead people you cannot relate to. Connection, when genuine, allows us to build bridges of trust and understanding to people who may be different from ourselves. We can provide emotional warmth, listen attentively, smile, offer encouragement and affirmation, show genuine interest, and display faith in people. It’s also important that we are not defensive and do not overreact in the face of adversity. By fostering the genuine desire to relate to others, we can develop chemistry with them, which makes them more willing to receive our leadership.

In the conversation between Jesus and the woman at the well, Jesus was able to make a connection by being willing to overcome barriers of gender, racial prejudice, immoral behavior, theological difference, and initial personal rejection. Let’s take a closer look at how Jesus fostered this connection: • He went out of His way to meet her (verse 4). • He initiated the conversation (verse 7). • 
He listened and allowed her to speak (verse 9). • He showed respect, regardless of her gender and status (verse 9). • He aroused spiritual interest in her by casting a vision for something greater than she had imagined (verses 10–15). • He entered into her world, that is, He built a bridge to her world (verses 13–24). • He did not try to control her or pressure her to join Him (verses 13–15). • He inspired her to go as far as she was willing to go in her spiritual journey (verses 15–18). • He accepted her where she was (verses 17–18). • 
He did not convey disappointment in her choices (verse 18). • He focused on key issues for her future (verses 20–24). • He communicated directly and simply to her, in language she could understand (verses 25–26).

Throughout my life, I have been mentored by some great “connectors.” One of the greatest was Loren Cunningham, founder of Youth With A Mission. As I watched him in action, I was struck again and again by how Loren connected with people. In big crowds or small, he would focus on one individual at a time, smile warmly, ask them questions, and listen to them attentively. Then he would challenge and encourage them to do something great for God. That is connecting.

Loren planted the seeds of greatness and great achievement in the hearts of many young leaders by challenging them to go beyond what they had dreamed or thought of doing before that time. Then he would give them an opportunity to do what he had just encouraged them to dream about. He didn’t just inspire and walk away, he invested in the relationship and took the connection a step further. That is chemistry.

Step one in connecting with people is reaching across any perceived or real barriers. Take a few moments to reflect on the people you lead who are different from yourself. Think wider about those God wants you to influence who have not yet come to faith in Jesus. Are you actively working at reaching across age, gender, class, and racial barriers to connect with them? Think deeper as well as wider. Do you react if people give you advice you don’t like? Do you send the message that you want to listen attentively, learn from what people say to you, and are prepared to engage in deeper conversation?

If you would like to read the other 39 Chapters in my new book, Leading Like Jesus please click here to find it on Amazon Kindle.  Or you can order a paperback copy at YWAM Publishing here.

Preferential Treatment

"In chapter two of John’s Gospel account, we read of Jesus driving unjust merchants and moneychangers from the temple. Directly following this, in chapter three, Jesus welcomes a member of the very class of people who allowed these injustices to take place. Jesus welcomed both poor and rich, those without rank in society and those who enjoyed privilege and power. It was not the status of the rich and powerful that offended Jesus, but the abuse of their power. He welcomed all those who demonstrated spiritual hunger.

I have had the privilege of meeting ambassadors and leaders of government, heads of major corporations, and mayors of cities and towns. What stands out to me about many of the leaders I have met is how approachable they are.

Truly great people are not impressed by their own positions or power. They make time for people. And they’re great conversationalists.

Everyone has a story. American Ambassador William Turner and his wife, Cynthia, always amazed me with their ability to engage people in conversation, no matter their rank in life. Whether speaking to prostitutes or priests, they impressed me over and over again at their ability to ask simple, heartfelt questions and then listen earnestly to the responses.

Insecure leaders want people to hear about them. But secure and effective leaders want to hear about others.

Do you give equal respect to both the wealthy and the marginalized of society? In some circles, it is popular to welcome the poor but the rich and powerful are looked upon with mistrust. Or vice versa. Jesus didn’t show preferences. He welcomed all who received Him, no matter their race, gender, or role."

To read the other 39 Chapters click here to buy Leading Like Jesus on Amazon Kindle or click here to buy a paperback copy from YWAM Publishers.

Salvation 'excludes no one'

This is an article by Jonathan Brenneman, from the Cape Times, 17 December 2015 issue. "During this time, Advent Christians around the world turn their attention toward Christmas and to that little town of Bethlehem, where Jesus Christ was born.  Bethlehem holds an extra special place in my heart because I know someone else who was born there, my mother.  My mother is a Christian Palestinian, as am I.  We are part of a Christian community that traces its origin back to the first followers of Jesus.

I am often amazed at the confusion that my identity as a Christian Palestinian causes for many of my fellow Christians.  In all their time learning about the Holy Land, both two thousand years ago and at present, they have never come to know their Chrisian brothers and sisters who inhabit the land.

This confusion is often caused by a specific kind of theology, that of Christian Zionism.  Christian Zionism divides the people of the region historically known as Palestine into two groups: Jews, whom God wants in the land and whom we should side with and non-Jews, who get in the way of God's plan and whom we as Christinas should oppose.

I grew up unsure of where we Christian Palestinians belong in this scheme.  What are we, the living remnant of the first Christians, to do? Are we all supposed to oppose ourselves, to deny our Christian identity, to convert to Judaism?  Or to leave homes that have been in our family for generations, to abandon the land where our Saviour was born, lived, preached the gospel, died and rose again?

Are we and our neighbours not loved by God?  Did the Redeemer of the universe not have a place for us in His redemption plan?  None of the Christian Zionist answers sounded like something the God I believe in would want.

As many Christians do when faced with such questions, I went to the Scriptures.  There I found something very different from the theology of Christian Zionism.  I learnt that God, through the Jewish people, had brought HIs son into the world to save it.  In Christ, salvation is no longer dependent on one's ethnic ties, but has been extended to all peoples in the world.  The wall of separation has been torn down.  This was made possible through Christ's death and resurrection, but also revealed by Christ's life and teachings.

Jesus did not exclude anyone from His teachings and miracles; He invited Roman centurions (Mt 8:5-13), tax collectors (Luke 19:1-10), Samaritans (Luke 10:25-37), "unclean" lepers (Mt 8, Luke 17:11-19), and "unclean" women (Mark 5:25-34, Mt 5:27-23, Luke 7:36-50) to follow Him.  These people did not fit into the socially acceptable categories of the day.

Jesus' life demonstrated, as Paul would later write, that there was neither Jew nor Gentile (Gal 3:28, Col 3:11), but all were welcome at the Lord's table.  This is not to say that God no longer loves the Jews, as some anti-Semitic theologians have said, but that God's love, through Jesus encompasses the whole world, not just one tribe.

When I brought up this new understanding with my Chrisian Zionist friends there were unconvinced.

They claimed that although God does love the whole world, His plan for the world has a specific, well defined ending, which includes Jews ruling the land of Palestine.  A Christian's duty is to support Jewish rule, regardless of what it entails.  This argument again raised questions, and again I went to the Scriptures.

This time I did not find clear-cut answers.  Instead, I found uncertainty about how and when the end would come about.  Jesus specifically said it was not for us to know (Acts 1:7), like how we do not know when a thief will arrive (Rev 16:15).  Paul reiterates this sayig that he sees through a glass dimly (1 Cor 13:12).  The Scriptures tell us not to base our actions on what we think will happen in the end because, regardless of our supposed certainty, we cannot know.

Instead, Scripture continually points to the life, teachings and example of Christ to show how we as His followers should live our lives.  Caring for those who society does not care for - outcasts without power - is central to biblical ethics.  This is not only demonstrated in Jesus' life, but can be found through the whole of God's redemption story in Scripture.

When the Jews are oppressed, God leads them on a long walk to freedom.  When Jews are the oppressors, God leads those they oppress to freedom.  The good news of the gospel is freedom for widows, for orphans, for strangers, for prisoners, for the "unclean", for the disenfranchised, for anyone without power.

In the land where Jesus was born, Jews were oppressed under Roman occupation.  Jesus challenged this oppression through love, while inviting both Jews and Romans to join Him.  Today, Christian Palestinians have sought to follow in His footsteps while living under Israeli occupation by inviting other Palestinians and Israelis to challenge the Israeli occupation's oppresssion with love.

In 2009 representatives from every Christian denomination in Palestine wrote the Kairos Palestine document - based on the South African Kairos document of 1985 - calling on Christians around the world to join their struggle against oppression with "faith, hope and love".  This Christmas season, I invite you to read the Kairos Palestine document and be challenged by the invitation to the church to "proclaim the Kingdom of God, a kingdom of justice, peace and dignity".  Only then will we come into the Kingdom foretold by the Scriptures, where the lion will lie down with the lamb, and where we will learn war no more.

• Brenneman is with the organisation called Open Shuhada Street