Contentment Does Not Mean Happiness

A friend of mine is going through a hard time. She asked if I had any thoughts to share about contentment......so it got me thinking. The Bible exhorts us to be content in whatever situation we're in. (Philippians 4:11) I asked myself what that meant for me right now......am I "content" with cancer? Can we as believers be content about something so awful? I realized I can be content without being happy about the cancer!! Contentment has to do with peace. I have felt completely surrounded with peace from the Lord in these months that I've been battling cancer......right from the first moment the doctor told me I had a large tumor. The Bible talks about the peace "that passes understanding" that can only come from God. It's not a human emotion, feeling, experience.....it's a gift and blessing from Him. I know no one could be happy about having cancer, but I'm at peace. I am content but praying for healing. Contentment is a spiritual weapon right up there with faith.

The pain, injustices, and hardships of life are only for a little while. Perfect health, fairness, and lack of difficulties will be ours to enjoy in heaven forever. God has my times and seasons on this earth in His control. Contentment in my situation is a spiritual weapon against the enemy and any of his plans. I'm not happy I have cancer, but, thanks to God's help, I think I am content in Christ. I'm grateful for that. It's definitely a gift from Him.

Update After Round Four

Dear Faithful Intercessors and Friends, When I went in last week for chemo, they said my blood work showed my numbers were too low to do the treatment. They wanted to do the blood work again that morning. I sat waiting for a couple hours and finally "passed." My neutrophils were a bit below minimum, my white cells just above.....so they let me have the treatment. The chemo has been moving along successfully, so I was hoping not to break the rhythm!

I also got some good news from the doctor! I had done a CT scan the day before. It showed a slight improvement in the right kidney we've been praying for that wasn't functioning because the large tumor had blocked it. That is encouraging news! Please keep praying for a full miracle of restoration.

I've been through hard times physically before. I can even say now that I'm grateful for them because walking through them has given me "tools" for dealing with this hard time. But I have to say that cancer is a different beast.......in a league of its own! It affects every part of the body. It impacts the mind and emotions. It touches on the heart - the spiritual realm because it's dealing with life and death. It impacts relationships - some people have a hard time dealing with it themselves so they don't know how to relate to me. It is so all consuming!

Because of the impact on every part of my life, I've sometimes felt like I'm broken into lots of pieces......and I'm just trying to keep it all together. A friend sent me the photo and definition that I've attached to this update. Kintsukuroi pottery......more beautiful and very costly for having been broken and repaired with gold or silver. As I pondered and prayed over this photo my friend sent, I heard the sweet voice of the Lord saying I would come out of this season more beautiful than before. In fact, that's what God wants to do in all our lives when we go through the difficult seasons. The hard time is not the end! God is using the difficulty to make us more like Him with His gold repair work in our lives. The piece of pottery is beautiful....more so for the gold worked into it!!

As you know, Floyd is away for 10 days. I was quite concerned about how I'd do without him. I have become so dependent on him. We're half way thru his time away. His trip has been good - we'll share news when he returns.

One day while Floyd's been away I was thanking the Lord for the sweetness of His presence. I felt I could almost touch Him - He felt so close. In that moment, I realized that "aloneness" is an illusion that the enemy tries to burden us with. I can't see the Lord, but I'm not alone. He is so with me!!! And because of Him, every moment of my life is good and meaningful.....even these chemo ones that I don't like.

AND - I've done well this round while Floyd has been away. :) Your prayers have been carrying me.....and have been answered. Thank you!

With our love & gratitude, Sally & Floyd

Cancer and Joy - Carried Over the Wall

When I was told that I had an ovarian tumor, a large almost 8 pound one, and then, subsequently, that it was malignant – my first thought was how am I going to get through the surgery and chemo treatment? It seemed like a huge, giant wall in front of me that I had no idea of how to get through or over.

Right at this time, I received an email from a dear friend in Indonesia. She was praying for me and was impressed with a picture in her mind for me. She actually drew it out for me.

The thought that kept coming to me was that Jesus would help me with the “wall” I saw in front of me. My friend’s drawing, and what she shared, was that Jesus was carrying me over a wall in this season. All I needed to do was relax, trust, and let Him carry me.  

That has been a HUGE unexpected joy, maybe more than joy, but certainly it was hope. I don’t have to work, earn, worry, do anything on my own. He is with me…I can let Jesus carry me.

And He is doing that, day by day. When I don’t think I can make it, when I am discouraged, I remember the picture of Him carrying me - and it gives me words to pray, “Lord Jesus, please carry me now.” And He does.

“The beloved of the Lord rests in safety – the beloved rests between his shoulders.” Deut. 33:12

Cancer and Joy - God's Compensations

NO ONE WANTS CANCER! But after the initial shock of discovering I have cancer, I concluded that God was with me in this journey. Consequently, I could expect God to reveal Himself to me every step of the way, in small and great ways. Cancer is something that all of us fear – dread – don’t want – think will never happen to us, especially if we’ve been good about check ups, doctor’s appointments, etc. Which I always had been! But, it can happen to any of us - as I’ve just found out. There are no guarantees in life – young, old, in between, there are things we all go through. There are days when I still think this is a bad dream, and I’m going to wake up. It’s still a challenge to say the words – “I have cancer.”

I’ve found in my life that I go through seasons, good seasons, hard seasons, seasons I wish I didn’t have to go through. I’m in that third category now: cancer and chemo-therapy.

I have moments of courage in facing this season, and I have moments of weakness in thinking, ‘How in the world am I going to get through this?’

It’s not at all the season I was planning. My husband and I live in South Africa. We were in the midst of planning an extended visit to the U.S. to see family and friends, especially looking forward to time with the grandkids! We hadn’t been back for a visit like this for 2 years.

Then suddenly, cancer.

As much as I wish I wasn’t in this season, I have to say I’m finding small joys along the way.

That includes friends praying for me. I feel very “carried” by them. And I feel enveloped in peace and comfort from the Lord.

I guess the thing that has been most surprising to me is the moments of joy I’ve experienced. I’m calling them my “unexpected joys.” Even though God has given me wonderful gifts of joy all through life, I needed to open my eyes and heart to receive that in this difficult season. Once I did that – wow! I’ve had lots of it. I see and experience joy daily. Joy didn’t disappear because I have cancer. In fact, I think I’m more aware of it because it’s such a contrast to the heaviness of cancer.

God is the wonderful, gracious giver of joy in every season we walk through. There are moments I actually don’t want joy. I just want to curl up and sleep, hoping when I wake up that it has all gone away. But there it is, intervening, waking my soul to His goodness.

I learned many years ago that even in the hardest circumstances in life, I can look for the little things God brings to show His goodness. They are what I call “God’s compensations.” In so many ways He reminds me that He is “just in all His ways and kind in all His doings.” I’m finding His compensations of joy all around me in this season of cancer. They stare me in the face every day.

I’ll be sharing my “unexpected joys” on this blog. Being able to do that brought an immediate, unexpected anticipation: what will God do next that I can share with you? In the midst of it all, the pain, the nausea, the sleepless nights, there is a small stream of hope flowing through this hard season, breathing life into me.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”   Psalm 30:5

Cancer and Joy - The Wrap-Around Presence

One thing I certainly never thought about doing in life is the day I would walk into the chemo-therapy room - and I would be the patient. I had no idea what to expect or what would be happening to me. I had several surprises in store for me on this day that felt overwhelming.  When I was leaving home that morning, a friend met me at our gate and handed me a huge gift bag with the label “Sally’s hospital boredom gift bag.”  It contained all kinds of little items to help me get through the day. What a joy! I was so touched by her love and thoughtfulness…and it really helped: a devotional book, sweet lozenges, puzzle books to relieve the boredom, and more goodies.

When we arrived at the hospital, I quickly realized I was being treated in a world-class chemo program. Everything was very organized, very professional.

Then there was my delightful nurse, Lulu.  She patiently walked me through everything that happened to me. I’ve experienced some not so patient and not so kind nurses in my life, so Lulu was a true joy! She made me feel secure and cared for.

The steps in chemo-treatment may be mundane but they all have their place:

First. antihistamine in my bum – the right place for that!

Then a long list of IV drips, one after the other for about 6 hours:- Steroid

- Something to line the tummy - Anti-nausea - 1st chemo/2 bags – 3 hours - Saline - 2nd chemo - More saline

The chemo immediately felt “heavy” entering my body. I could feel the effect of it all the way into my legs. I had questions  because of things I was experiencing, and Lulu answered every question. She was so kind, and caring.  What a gift she was.

I was the 2nd person to arrive that day – and the last one to leave 6 hours later.

Most of the people in the chemo-treatment room were alone. That was a surprise to me. It was a comfort to have my husband, Floyd, with me. So many patients came in by themselves, looking frightened and desolate. Some of them looked like they were on death’s door already.

I read, talked with Floyd, napped a bit, snacked, pulled my IV to the bathroom. ☺ It all went by fairly quickly. Someone had sent me a verse from The Passion translation of the Bible that used the phrase “the wrap around presence” of the Lord. During the day I realized I felt that “wrap around” sweet sense of His closeness. A day I dreaded and didn’t know what to anticipate was actually okay. I wasn’t alone in it and He brought unexpected joys to me all along the way.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”        Deut. 31:8

News After Round 3

Hello all, Some moments have felt dark on this chemo/cancer journey I'm on. Strangely, I sense the Lord's care and peace with me continually, and yet there have been moments that feel dark because of the pain and suffering.

While praying and worshiping this morning, I realized that often the "darkness" is simply because I'm in HIS shadow!  I'm not alone, I'm not in a bad place, it's not a sinister darkness.......He's just covering me with His wings and protecting me, staying very close to me.  It gave me a whole new perspective!  I'm safe, I can relax in His shadow and trust in His care for me.  I love that!

I've been reminded that my oncologist told me each round of chemo would get harder, and I would get weaker and tireder.  I think I forgot that detail. :( Thank you for continuing to pray for me.  I definitely need it!  I'm a week past round 3 of chemo.  Round 2 was so much easier than round 1, that I think I expected (hoped?!) round 3 would be "easy" too. Not the case!  It's been rough.  Yesterday was a particularly bad day.  I was feeling low in every way.

I was encouraged with some good news I had when I went in for my chemo this time.  My cancer marker numbers are down, which means the chemo is working and doing its job!  My white cell count was slightly higher too, an answer to prayer.

In a recent update I asked you to pray with us about Floyd going to Jordan for a strategic conference with our International Leadership Team and young leaders gathering from around the world.  They will be ministering in the refugee camps among Syrians who have had to flee their country. And they will be seeking the Lord for how we're to respond and be involved in the needs in the Middle East.

We both feel a peace about Floyd going.  He'll leave shortly after my 4th round of chemo.  We asked the Dr. if I could delay that round until his return, but she said that would not be wise. Because we're seeing good results, she didn't think we should interrupt the process that's taking place.  So we're setting up a system of care for me here while Floyd is away. Thank you for praying with us!  We're so grateful!  And please, would you cover me with your prayers Sept. 25 to Oct. 5, the days Floyd is gone?   Also, please continue to pray for my right kidney to recover and start functioning.

Next week here in Cape Town is our annual staff and leadership gathering for our workers we have sent out over the last 8 years. Please pray for God's purposes to be fulfilled for our time together as we thank Him for all that's been done in the past year, and seek Him for the year ahead.

I won't be able to participate, but Floyd will be part of these meetings. One of our biggest blessings in life are the wonderful people God has brought into All Nations to work with us. Such a gift. It's always special to have these times of gathering together.

I will be focusing my energy for rebuilding my strength to get ready for round 4.  It's nice to be half way through after round 3. :)

Blessings and love,

Sally &  Floyd

Letter From Sally

Hello, I was encouraged and inspired by a story a South African friend sent to me recently. It dates back to 1902 during a war here in South Africa. Some women were sitting in the dirt in a concentration camp - hungry, discouraged, praying for the war to end. One of the ladies glanced at her open Bible and looked at Matthew 29:31:

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."

The lady shares this verse with the other ladies, and as she does, a sparrow (called a mossie here in South Africa) came and sat on her shoulder. The ladies had their hope restored that night.

In May of that year, a peace treaty was signed to end the war. The same lady from that group of women sitting in the dirt approached the wife of the president and requested the Bible verse about the sparrows be reflected on the country's one cent coins.

From 1923 to 2002 two sparrows (mossies) were embossed on the one cent coin making South Africa the only country in the world with a Bible verse as an image on its coins.

During World War II, parents gave the one cent coin to their sons who went to war as soldiers to remind them of their value in the Lord's eyes - He knows every sparrow!

Years later, a South African lady went to the U.S. to help rehabilitate soldiers injured in the Vietnam war. She gave each soldier a one cent sparrow coin and told them the story, reminding them He cared about them and their injuries.

I've reflected often on this story during some of my hard moments. The God who knows every sparrow......and knows the numbers (or lack of them right now in my case) of every hair on my head.......is so mindful of every thing I'm walking through. I love how much He cares!!!

My next chemo is on Tues., Sept. 2. The chemo days seem to come up quickly. I find myself dreading going through it all again, and yet realizing I'll be half way through with this round. That's important for me to keep in mind.

I've had several "good" days this past week - so, so wonderful! I've tried to build up my energy and strength to get ready for the next round. I don't bounce back as quickly as I did when I was younger, and yet I feel the Lord strengthening me!

It'll be a wonderful day when I can speak of all this in the past tense. Until then, thank you for standing with Floyd and me, praying for us, encouraging us, believing with us. We are so grateful! I find myself thanking Him for caring about each sparrow......and caring for Sally. :)

With loving gratitude,

Sally & Floyd

Sally's Update

Dear Praying Friends, You've been praying.......there have been answers!!  My white blood cells went from dangerously low to almost normal in 2 weeks.  That was pretty amazing, and a wonderful answer to prayer!  I couldn't have continued my treatment without that.

With my 2nd chemo treatment, I'm now a third of the way through.  That seems much less daunting than thinking of how much is left. :)  The side effects from the 2nd round seemed easier......definitely an answer to prayer.  I can imagine the "shock" of all that chemo going in the first time must have been a jolt to the body.  They adjusted my anti-nausea and sleeping meds., which has been a big help.  I've had more pain this time, but less of other symptoms.

My lovely photo quilt that I mentioned in the last update (from our daughter, son-in-law and grandkids) was oohed and aahed over in the chemo room!  It was so special.  I felt surrounded by love. Lots of the patients and nurses were so touched by the thoughtfulness of it from family so far away.  I've attached a photo below of being "hugged" by family during my chemo treatment.

I also have a new look......the bald look.  It's been an adjustment.  I was prepared mentally, but the emotions really hit me when I kept looking in the mirror.  You can see my new look below too.  I waited a few days to share the look because I didn't want to get my computer wet while I was typing about it. :(  I'm not quite sure why some people choose this look - it feels so much more vulnerable!  But I have been told I have a nice shaped head!  :) I'd have never known!!

We've been having a mild winter with lots of sunny days.  I know it's not just for me, but it feels like a "gift."  I just seem to feel better when the sun shines!  A number of people have told me they've prayed for that.

Some new prayer points:

-  We're working with the airlines canceling all our tickets for our planned travel of the next few months. Please pray with us for favor for that.  Some are easier to work with than others!  Please pray that we won't lose too much on all the cancellation fees.

-  Please pray for the evenings for me.  They seem to be the hardest.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired and my energy is low, but that seems to be when some of the worst side effects hit.  I also feel vulnerable emotionally at night.

While I'm going through this personal story, the ministry side continues on.  We send a new team to Jordan this week to work with the refugees. We have an important leadership meeting coming up there in Sept. too. I'd love for Floyd to still go.  Please pray for wisdom in deciding about that.

Many of you write to ask how I'm doing.  I'm so touched by that.  But please know, too, that I'm trying to not bombard you with too many emails. I know this is a long season!  I have months to go in treatment.  If you'd prefer not to receive emails, please let me know.  I understand!!!  I'm trying to send "breaking" news, but not over do it.

I have come to a new appreciation of the fellowship and prayers of the saints in these days.  Family, friends, prayer partners - more precious than gold!  Thank you for loving us and standing with us in this season. With love and gratitude, Sally & Floyd Ps. 18:18  "They confronted me in the day of my calamity; but the Lord was my support.  He brought me out into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me."

I'm looking forward to that "broad place" He has for us in the future.  He's so faithful to bring good from hard times!

One Down - Five to Go

Dear Praying Friends,

1 down and 5 to go. :) My first day of chemo treatment went as well as I could have hoped for. I felt enveloped in God's peace and care all through the day. On the way there, I told Floyd that my body was a little nervous, but my heart was at peace. I felt carried by the prayers of friends.

There were little unexpected joys through the day. As we left our house, a friend was waiting at our gate with a gift bag of "survival" items for my day. It was so loving and thoughtful. Both Floyd and I were blessed as we opened the gifts all through the day.

The staff at the chemo center were very kind, but just the explanations of stuff they tell you scares you to death! It was a 6 hour treatment day. I was the 2nd to arrive, and the last to leave. Future days will be longer. They prepared me that this was my "easiest" chemo day - it will get harder. They were caring, positive, encouraging, but very realistic. The health care here in South Africa has been excellent. They gave me a good balance of encouragement and reality. I want to know what to expect so I can prepare myself for it.

The long day of treatment passed by quickly, and soon we were headed home. I was exhausted, but was glad to have one treatment finished. Thankfully, there was NO nausea - my biggest prayer request. I think I can handle all the other stuff more easily if I'm not nauseated. The drip they gave me for nausea will wear off today, so please continue to pray that there will be no nausea.

I've had lots of side effects in the last 48 hours, but I'm doing well. I've had ongoing knife like pain in my abdomen. I'm trusting that means there's lots of "killing" of cancer cells going on! That's what needs to happen.

One big prayer request - they told me the treatment can affect the kidneys. They will be testing to monitor that. I now have only the 1 functioning kidney. Please pray for protection for it......and continue to pray for a kidney miracle of the other one starting to function again.

The day before my treatment I went to our All Nations family staff meeting where everyone prayed for me. Very precious! I continually think of how grateful I am for all the prayer support.

One joy for me in the day is that Floyd is with me. It was very sad seeing all the people at the chemo center who were alone. Many of them. Lots of "stories" I'm sure. One young man looked like he was barely alive. I am so thankful to be surrounded by the love of family and friends. Thank you for being part of that.

Another unexpected joy was Lulu, the nurse who assisted me throughout my treatment. She was professional, caring and attentive.

Thank you for caring for Floyd and me during this time. We are so touched by your messages and your love.

Blessings,

Sally & Floyd

News From Sally

HOME!  There's truly nothing like it. :)  I'm very grateful for hospitals and the care we can receive, but I'm also really glad to leave them!  And I am once again so very thankful that the Lord had organized our circumstances to be moved into a one level home (instead of our previous three levels) when this happened!  I can't believe how perfect His timing was!  I literally thank Him every day!!! 

With a little pressure from my side :), I was able to return home 2 days ago.  Having more control over my diet and environment has been a boost to my recovery.  Nurse Floyd is on duty and doing a good job.  We "celebrated" our 45th anniversary while I was in the hospital.  Not my choice of how to celebrate all those wonderful years, but Floyd made it special for us. :)

I am so very grateful for the love and prayers I've received.  There were so, so many times in the hospital when I sensed I was being "carried" by the prayers of others.  Thank you!  One of my favorite verses during this time has been Deut. 33:12 - "God surrounds him all day long.....and rests between his shoulders."  I have been aware of His presence with me continually.  At the beginning of the year, the Lord gave me a word for the year - "rest."  It's not taken quite the turn I'd thought, but I'm getting some rest.

With Floyd's 2 cataract surgeries this year, and my knee replacement, we feel we're getting replacement parts to keep serving Him.  :)

I would ask for your on-going prayers.  Here are a few specifics:

·      I have heard of people "sailing" thru their knee replacement surgeries.  That is not the case for me.  I am having a hard time bouncing back.  Maybe because I started from such a "low" point beforehand with the painful months I've had, I may just be catching up now......but I still feel quite low.

·      I am needing fresh strength and courage for the physical therapy/rehab weeks.  I am told that if you don't gain good mobility in the first 2 weeks (in terms of bending the knee), that you won't regain it.  My knee is still very stiff, and I'm having a hard time getting the muscles and tendons to co-operate.  Floyd is helping me with my exercises, and I have a therapist coming to the house twice a week starting today.

·      My body is not normalizing as quickly as I'd like.  In particular, I battle almost constant nausea in spite of medication.  That one thing seems to under-mind everything else I'm doing.

While in the hospital, I met 2 ladies who were returning home alone after their surgeries and some time in step down care.  Their situations felt so alone.  It made me thankful again for our "family" around the world and our All Nations family here in Cape Town who love us, pray for us, and stand with us in these situations.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!  A foretaste of heaven indeed!!

How Do I Protect My Heart With So Many People Coming and Going in My Life?

Many years ago I was talking to the Lord about getting close to people.......only to have them leave and go somewhere else.  The Lord spoke so clearly to my heart and told me if I'd be faithful to love people and give myself to them, He would give me more friendships than I could handle.  That has certainly happened!  One of my biggest frustrations in life is that I can't keep up the level of sharing and communication with all my friends in the way I'd like because I have too many!!!  A wonderful problem.  Our grumpy next door neighbor accuses us of running a BnB without legal permission because he can't believe we have so many friends that come visit. :)  If he only knew.....the ones who have come are just a drop in the bucket!

Some years later I was at another turning point.  My life was so full (wife, mother, friends, leadership responsibilities, traveling/speaking, writing) that I felt I couldn't keep up with everything.  I wondered what should stay/what should go/how did I decide.  Derek Prince was with us.  He made a statement that answered my questions.  He said that we live in a world that presents so many challenges and opportunities.  One question everyone had was "what do I invest in?"  (with our time, our resources, our money)  He said the answer is easy - always invest in people!  That's what God does.  Everything else fades, but investing in people lasts for eternity.  So simple.

Once these foundations are in place.....then the hard part comes. :)  Working with and relating to people!!  Unfortunately criticism and disappointment will always be there in some way or at some level.  If we want to accomplish something, then we'll be the object of criticism at some point.  If we don't want to be criticized, then we can do nothing.  We probably should expect it and be ready......easier said than done.  Even Jesus himself couldn't please everyone!!  A big key is finding our security in our walk with the Lord - not in whether people are happy with us or not.

I've been taught and have learned to "hear" the criticisms and ask God if there is any conviction from Him in them.  If I'm wrong, I need to make it right (often easier said than done too because the criticisms tend to have a hurtful "barb" in them).  But many times there is an element of truth - that's why we have to take them to the Lord. If it's unjust criticism (often from someone's pain or insecurity), then we need to try and "shake it off."

Of course we have to forgive!!  One more thing that's easier said than done.  But it's an act of will and by doing it, it will bring healing to our hearts.  We need to be careful not to attack back, when those who leave are offended by us.  We need to be on guard that bitterness doesn't enter in.  Again I was taught to think of the needs of the person who is criticizing - why would they say this?  What does it reflect in them?

We can only be hurt to the extent and depth that we love.  If we love deeply, we can be hurt deeply.  It's a risk - but a good one to take. :)

If we've been disappointed and hurt, it's important to respond in the opposite spirit.  Easier said than done, but that is the clear goal to work toward. Forgive the person, pray for the person, look for ways to encourage and bless the person, ask God to see them as he sees them.  This brings healing to our hearts and allows us to move on without carrying the offense with us.

More important than what people say is what God knows about us!  Very few have been more criticized in the Bible than Noah.  God said of him in Gen. 7:1 - "I have found you righteous in this generation."  Quite a commendation.

Well......all this kinda poured out of me in response to a recent email from a friend, and Floyd suggested I post it here in case it would be a blessing to you as well.  I don't know if any of it is helpful, but I decided to go ahead and share it.  It was a good reminder to me as well!!!

Why Christmas is So Special to Me

I love Christmas - the decorations, the tree, the gifts, the baking, the special meals, the surprises for people, the caroles - I love it all. It's truly my favorite time of the year. I even loved the cold weather......and the snow when we had it. In fact, that's one of the things I miss about the Christmas season now that I live in South Africa and Christmas is in summer. After several years, I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around that. I've just had too many years of winter Christmases. I have friends that don't really like Christmas all that much. I mean, sure they like it because we are celebrating Christ's birth, but they don't like all the other things that I so love. It got me thinking about why I love everything about the Christmas season.

I know it has its roots in my growing up years. Every year my dad and I would go shopping together for the Christmas tree. We always wanted to find the perfect one, and we came close! We had a beautiful fir tree every year. We'd come home and join with my mom (Memaw) and decorate it. Of course she always had special baked/cooked treats to eat while we did that. Then on another day, my dad and I would put up outside lights. We had a two story house, and we got ladders out so we could decorate both levels. It wasn't anything fancy, but those bright, colored lights were so beautiful to me because my dad and I had put them up. I treasure the memories of us doing these things together every Christmas.

Every year my Dad said he couldn't afford any gifts. And every year, just a few days before Christmas, he'd ask me to take him shopping. He had been tucking money away and would buy my mom and me and some other family members special gifts. Of course by the time he got around to doing his shopping things would be really picked over! I learned as I grew up to ask some shop keepers to hold things until I brought my Dad in! Seeing his true generous heart was such a treasure.

My Dad was a product of his generation - one that had a hard time showing emotion and expressing feelings. As a child I often wished he would do that more. I think Christmas is when I really saw my Dad's heart and came to know who he was inside. I treasured that!

Close to Christmas we usually had a family dinner when other members of my family that lived nearby would come over - my sister and her family, one of my brothers and his family......and sometimes others who lived further away would come in. I often joke and say my family talked a lot but didn't say much. We talked about everything, but rarely was it "heart" stuff. Except at Christmas......and then it seemed that people opened up more and shared their hearts. This was another treasure for me.

My mom never had a lot, but she shared everything she had - all the time, but especially at Christmas. She cooked and baked up a storm! She took platefuls of all her special treats (divinity candy, candied grapefruit rinds, Spanish kisses, and delicious pies to name a few) to just about everyone she knew. My friends loved to come to my house and sample it all! Even though I've tried, I still haven't mastered cooking some of her specialties. My family wasn't poor, but we didn't have a lot of extra either. My mother gave out of her gifts and talents because she had such a generous spirit. I treasure that memory so much.

As parents, we want to establish family traditions and make memories that our children can take with them all their lives. I have those special memories tucked away in my heart........and they help make Christmas so very special to me. I love it!

O come, O come Emmanuel...."God with us." Matt. 1:23

Our Awesome God

Several years ago, while we were still living in Kansas City, I felt a desire growing in my heart.  It was pretty simple and straight forward......a desire to live by the water.  I must say that I couldn't understand it!  Here we were, living in Kansas City in the middle of the U.S.  You couldn't be much further from the water!

I wondered if it was something going back to my childhood.  I grew up in Galveston, Texas - an island.  The Gulf of Mexico was about a mile from my home.

I tried to forget about this desire, ignore it, think it would go away.......but it got stronger.  I really didn't know what to do about it, except to pray and give it back to the Lord.  As I did this, I became increasingly convinced that it was of Him, but I just didn't understand it.

If you are reading this you will know that we now live in Cape Town, South Africa - an ocean city.  When we moved here and began looking/searching/praying for where we would live, I kept thinking of that desire that had been in my heart.  It could be that God was preparing me for our move to Cape Town, but I wondered if there was more to it.  The end result is that we have ended up in a neighborhood that's on the Atlantic side of the Cape Peninsula.......looking out at the ocean about a mile away.  It's still hard for me to believe how specifically the Lord prepared my heart for the change that was to come in our lives.

One of my delights is looking out at our ever-changing view of the water and mountains.......and thinking about how what I'm seeing reflects different aspects of God and His character.  Beautiful, peaceful, calm, stormy, awesome colors, majestic, ever-changing yet solid and firm, cloudy, sunny, rainy, windy.  Every time I look out the window, I feel like my soul is touched and blessed.  God always ministers special things to my heart.

If my heart is troubled, if I'm concerned for our safety and security, if I'm tired, if I'm discouraged, if I'm missing friends and family........being by the water and thinking of how it reflects my Father constantly speaks to me.

I would have never known I needed this - or what it would mean to me in this season, but God did!  He prepared my heart by the desire He put there.....and He carried me through all the changes to where we are now.  He also, very literally, fulfilled that desire He put in my heart.  I am in awe!  What a great God He is.  He knows and understands us better than we know ourselves!

"A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul."  Prov. 13:19

Growing Older

One of my "heroes" is a lady named Lura Garrido.  She was Floyd's secretary in Amsterdam many years ago.  Lura speaks Spanish and was very concerned for the Spanish speaking prostitutes in the Red Light District where we worked.  She asked Floyd for half a day a week to minister to those ladies.  Then she needed a day a week, then 2 days, then.......she went full-time working with them.  She eventually planted a church among the converts.  That church has grown to become quite large and is thriving.  She went on to plant churches in other cities as she led more women to the Lord.  Lura is now 89 years old, still living in Amsterdam, still pastoring/mentoring, still vibrant, still going strong.  She's such a wonderful example.  She's truly a hero for me!  What a wonderful, Godly lady.  Someone said, "what we weave in time, we wear in eternity."  Lura is going to have some beautiful "garments" in heaven!!

I recently turned 60 - the big Six-O!  I told Floyd he's married to an old woman now.  :}  A friend told me that 50 is the new 30, so I guess 60 is only 40 - so actually I'm not very old yet!  The amazing thing is my mind still tells me I'm about 25!  I'm not sure how all that works.  I guess whatever season of life we're in, attitude makes all the difference!  I want to still do so much.  It's just some days my body can't keep up with my head!

I actually don't mind becoming older.  I've found that as the years add up, God's faithfulness multiplies!  I love thinking of His goodness, His faithfulness, His provision, all the answers to prayer.  What an absolutely wonderful, fantastic God we serve.

I've decided to enjoy my age.  With great glee I got my first "senior discount" this past week!  I always love a bargain!  I couldn't wait to tell Floyd about it.  One of my friends encouraged me that I'm now in a season when your kids and grandkids begin to tell you you were "right" about things.  I look forward to that!  :}

Birthdays, especially the big ones, are a wonderful time to reflect.  I've been thinking that growing older isn't a time to coast, but to climb.  I want to keep moving into all that God has for me.......which, hopefully, will include many more years here to serve Him.  I trust my best years are still to come.  I want to die young at an advanced age someday.

"They shall bring forth fruit in old age....."  Psalms 92:14

We Take So Much For Granted

I've been reflecting lately on how many things we know and learn in life that we just take for granted.  They don't seem like a 'big deal.'  For instance:

• knowing how to plan/organize

• knowing how to study

• having/managing a bank account

• knowing how to use an ATM machine

• having a budget

• how to mail a letter

• learning how to drive

As we grow up, we learn so many of these life skills so easily.  The opportunities are there to learn them.  We don't really stop to think about them, we just learn and do them.

But many of the poor and disadvantaged in the world don't have this opportunity.  In our almost 2 years here, I have found myself helping so many people fill in a bank account deposit slip - or showing them how to use the ATM machine.  The look of helplessness on their faces at facing these simple tasks and not knowing what to do is heart breaking.  One day I stood in line at the ATM for a long time behind a man.  I couldn't imagine what he was doing that was taking so long.  Finally he turned to me with a look of agony on his face, and said, "could you please help me?"  I was so glad I was there to do that.

A friend here told me of a recent experience she had.  She knew her husband was meeting a couple of young men from Masi, one of the townships nearby, at the bank to do something.  She went to the mall, and was surprised to see one of the young men just wandering around.  She asked him about the appointment with her husband, and he gave some vague explanation of why he wasn't there.  They talked for a few minutes, and it suddenly dawned on her.  He didn't know how to get in the double lock security door at the entrance of the bank!  You wait for a green light, open the first door and go in, let that door close, then wait for a green light to go in the second door to then enter the bank.  She went to the bank with him and helped him get in.

Such a simple thing - but if you don't know how to do it, it's a big thing!  In the culture many of us have grown up in, we would have looked at the door/system if we didn't understand it and thought "what's wrong with this door?!"  To those who haven't had the opportunities and training we've had, they look at the door and think "what's wrong with me?!"

It is so important as part of our "mission" here that we impart self-worth, security, and dignity!!  It's one way of spreading the "glory of God" when we let people know how valued they are in God's eyes because He created them.  When we have opportunities to teach and pass on simple life skills, it does so much to do that and to help a person feel good about themselves!

"God created man in his own image."  Genesis 1:27

The Importance of One

Recently I read the story below of the starfish.  It made an impact on me!

"Once a man was walking along a beach.  The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day.  Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and the beach.  Back and forth this person went.  As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.

The man was struck by the apparent futility of the task.  There were far too many starfish.  Many of them were sure to perish.  As he approached, the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.

As he came up to the person, he said, 'You must be crazy.  There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish.  You can't possibly make a difference.'  The person looked at the man.  He then stooped down and picked up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean.  He turned back to the man and said, 'It sure made a difference to that one.' "

I remind myself that this is the approach and attitude I must continually keep in my heart.  The needs are so overwhelming here in Africa.......impossible to meet them all, but I can daily look to make a difference in one person's life.  I think this is true for all of us whether we live in Africa, Asia, America, or anywhere.

Last year I noticed a man living in an empty lot on a busy corner by a traffic light.  He lived under a tree with some pieces of cardboard, a wooden box, and several dogs.  People would sometimes stop and give him money or food.  I often looked at the man, thought about him, wondered about him, prayed for him.......but I never stopped.  One day I noticed he was gone - and then I found out he had died.  I felt so convicted!  I had never once stopped to talk to him about Jesus, and now he had passed into eternity.  I don't know if I'd talked to him if it would have made any difference.......but it could have.  One person......a few minutes.......it could have been like the starfish.

It's made me more sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit to say something, do something when I feel that tugging on my heart.  I can't make a difference for the hundreds, but I may be able to make a difference for the one.

"Rejoice with me for I have found my (one!) sheep which was lost."   Luke 15:6

When Opportunity Knocks

When I was growing up, I often heard my mother say - "when opportunity knocks, answer the door."  My mother had sayings for just about everything - I only wish I had wrote them all down!  Common sense, fun, amusing phrases of wisdom!

In my mind, the word opportunity has always had a positive meaning or connotation to it.  It's an unexpected benefit or possibility......a chance for something because of some favorable circumstance.

The idea of "opportunity knocking" has taken on a different, and much less positive, meaning here in South Africa.  Crime has been rising, and some of the most common crimes are what they call "crimes of opportunity."  Someone may not be planning a specific crime (usually robbery), but when they see an opportunity, they go for it.  Usually there is an open door or window that is right there in front of them, so they reach in or walk in and grab what they can get quickly.  The most popular items seem to be lap top computers, cell phones, money........but anything is fair game.  I heard of one person who had a vase stolen that was sitting by the window, and another person lost a jar of peanut butter.  It doesn't seem to matter how valuable the item is.......it's just there ready to be taken.

A friend of mine has been trying to save her extra rand to buy bricks to pave her walkway.  Whenever she has a little extra, she buys a few bricks (R.7 - $1 each).  She was getting a nice sized pile of them and was ready to make her walkway.  Then one day she looked and the pile had almost entirely disappeared.  She found out people had been taking them 2, 3, 4 at a time from her yard and just walking away.

I would like to suggest that we pray for this trend to be reversed........that we ask for eyes to be blinded to these types of opportunity!  I think we should pray for a greater fear of the Lord in people's hearts.  Fear of the police or of being caught doesn't seem to be working!  I remember hearing testimonies of the revival that came to the Hebrides islands.  When revival came, most of the bars were closed because no one was going to them!  The move of the Spirit was so great, and the fear of the Lord was so strong in people's hearts, that they left the bars and knelt in the fields crying out to God in repentance.  I believe that type of move of God can happen again!  Would you join with me in praying for a miracle like that here in South Africa?  Let's believe for a revelation of God and His righteousness, a birthing of the fear of the Lord in people's hearts, that will begin to break the stronghold of crime.......all kinds of crime, including the ones of opportunity!

"The fear of the Lord is the hatred of evil."  Psalms 8:13

Home

The months seem to be flying by in a blur.  We've been here almost 19 months now.  For most of that time I've seemed to constantly be running around just to trying and keep my head above water.  To say it's been busy would be a gross understatement!

We've just had a week in the African bush.  It's been heavenly.  I feel as if I've finally been able to take a deep breath!  The warm, dry climate - the stillness - the wide open space - the gorgeous sunsets - all have been so refreshing.  Even Sossy, our dog, seems to have a new lease on life!

During the busyness of these past months, there has been so much I've wanted to write about.  I'm going to attempt to still do that.  There's never a dull moment, day, week, month here!

One of the things that's become very evident to me here, it that this has truly become "home" to us.  When you make such a big/major halfway-across-the-world move, well, you wonder if it will "work."

Almost immediately it "felt" like home.  When we moved into our own place and then unpacked our stuff, our memories - we were surrounded by home.  Now it feels like we've been here forever.

It is a wonderful testimony to us doing the possible (we moved), and God doing what seemed impossible (even away from family, friends, the familiar - it's home).  He is so faithful!

Home is where the heart is, and I guess my/our heart is here now.

"God gives.......a home."   Ps. 68:6

An All-too-Common Problem

When we were preparing to move here to South Africa, we talked about the problem of crime in the country. I wanted to work it through in my heart so that I was prepared for whatever we would face. If God was calling us here, I wanted to live in peace, not fear. I believe that everyone who follows Jesus should live where they live because they are called to be there. I believe we're all called "full time." Sadly, a lot of Jesus followers don't know that, or live that way. The sad result is they don't live like they are called, with a sense of destiny and passion. And of course, they don't have grace for what they do and where they live because they are doing it on their terms, not God's. I was determined to prepare my heart for our new location.

We talked about the fact that we would probably face a robbery or something worse someday. Unfortunately, it is all too common-place. It's rare to talk to anyone who hasn't been effected by crime in some way. Well, the anticipation is over. We've faced our first......and second experiences.

One of the crates containing some of the things we shipped over was broken into while in the locked customs warehouse, and boxes of our things were stolen. Very sad after making it half way around the world!

We also had a man attempt to break into the house where we were living with our friend. We were very suddenly woken up at 3 a.m. one night when a burglar was prying open a window and broke the glass on the window. Fortunately no one was hurt, and he ran away. After dealing with the police, etc. we were all awake for the rest of the night.....and slept lightly for many nights afterwards.

During the same few weeks, there was a shoot out at a grocery store nearby when some men tried to hold up an armored car picking up cash from the store. A coffee shop was held up the next night. A friend who had also just moved here had quite a few valuable items stolen by a workman in her home. It was not only a financial loss, but each piece was a symbol of a special time, season, place, event. Very sad for her!

Two guys on one of the visiting outreach teams were robbed at knife point and threatened one evening. They weren't hurt, but it was a frightening experience.

I'm sure all our guardian angels work overtime watching out for us here!!

The poorer people in the townships suffer even more. They face crime and risk to their lives daily. They live with the threat of danger and violence constantly.

It would be easy to become "accepting" of this problem - to see it as just a part of life here. I've instead been feeling the need to rally prayer support that the "stronghold" of this crime spirit would be broken and contained. And that faith for the country to be changed would invade the hearts of believers. I know we can't do that alone. We need hundreds, thousands! to do that. Would you join us in praying for this?

"One shall put a thousand to flight, and two put ten thousand to flight....." Deut. 32:30

Great Faith? Or Wishful Thinking?

When we moved to South Africa it seemed like a huge impossibility for us to buy a home. Many reasons - lack of funds, very high prices, not being able to get a mortgage (a "bond" in South Africa), etc. We looked at places to rent, but found that to be a very discouraging process. There were few places available, and the ones that were on the market were too small, too expensive, or too awful!

Through a series of God-ordained events, we found "our home." It's a house that had been on the market for quite a while, but because of it's different, not really South African style, had not sold. The owners had lowered the price considerably, but it was still too high for us.

At the counsel of a wonderful Christian realtor (the father of a young man in one of the All Nations house churches), we made a very low offer. Unbeknown to us, the owners had also received a full price offer, but they would have had to move out right away. They are retiring to England, and wanted a longer process for their move. We could continue house sitting/living with our friend Maureen, so that was fine with us to wait longer. They countered our offer with a price slightly higher than our low offer, and we had a deal. It was really quite remarkable. It all happened in 4 days.

Meanwhile, the dear realtor had investigated and found out we could get a mortgage on the type of visa we have, so things moved speedily ahead. The Lord wonderfully provided the down payment........and here we are now renovating and hoping to move in in a few weeks.

Early in the process, a missionary friend shared how the Lord had provided a home for her and her husband. They had been blessed in such a way that their home was paid for before they moved in! When I heard this, something stirred in my heart. I've felt an urgency to pray daily for a similar miracle for us - because that's what we would need......a "mighty miracle!"

There are days when I don't know if my heart is stirred with great faith or just wishful thinking - but I can't seem to get away from this impression in my spirit. I haven't been able to just shake it off.

So I'm wanting to ask if you would pray with me/us?! Maybe God has a "mighty miracle" to encourage us all! Whatever happens, we are so grateful for His guiding us, opening doors for us, providing for us in all the ways that have led us to this home in South Africa. As a 16 year old when I went on my first missions trip, I would never have dreamed of all that my life would have in store. God has been so good! How faithful He is!

"God gives.....a home to dwell in." Psalms 68:6