Lessons Under My Belt

Recently on one of our cold, gray, rainy winter days I decided to sort through some files and papers.  My energy was lagging, so I needed to do something that didn't require a lot of energy.

I came across the file of all the messages I received when Floyd passed away.  I had read them all at the time, but, of course, it was a very busy time so I had read them rather quickly.  I decided to read them all again - slowly this time.

As might be expected, there were lots of tears.  But there was also much joy and gratitude for all that was expressed.  There were stories of Floyd's impact in different ways in people's lives that I didn't know about.  The outpouring of love and appreciation impacted my heart deeply - it was like a fresh wave of healing to my heart as I read all the consoling messages.

I'm so grateful for all those messages from when Floyd passed away!  And it reminded me again of all the wonderful people the Lord has allowed us to cross paths with.  I again "savored" each one - as I wrote about in my last post. 

I have missed Floyd so much during this last treatment and post treatment side effects.  It has been a rough time.  My mind went back to how loving and supportive he was during my very first diagnosis and treatment of cancer.  I wish he could have been with me in this recent time.  But - because he wasn't, it pushed me in closer to the Father's heart of love and care again.  And that is a precious gift.  I'm so grateful I'm never alone.  The Lord is with me 24/7!  In this difficult time I have sensed His tender love and care. 

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust."  Psalm 103:13,14 

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."  James 4:8 

"May your unfailing love be my comfort." Psalm 119:76 

"In Him we live and move and have our being."  Acts 17:28

Wonderful people and a loving, faithful God - what more could I ask for?!!

Another beautiful encouragement I had was from, George Verwer,  founder of Operation Mobilization and dear friend.  He passed away recently.  He had often written encouraging messages to me during Floyd's illness.  He actually wrote me a letter a couple weeks before he passed away.  Mail is slow here (if we get it at all), and I only got his letter this past week.  It blessed me that he was thinking of me in his last days - and, as always, it was a letter of encouragement.

He enclosed a booklet entitled "Failure, the Back Door to Success." *  In it he shared very vulnerably of how some failures in his life taught him lessons that went on to lead to successes.  I could completely relate to what he shared.  I thought back to some difficult times in our lives, some "failures,"  and how God used them to shape our character and mature us in our leadership.  There were definitely successes that came in the years ahead from those painful lessons. 

In fact, I thought about how some lessons I learned during difficult times prepared me for the last 9 years.  I don't know if I'd have made it through this time if I hadn't learned those lessons.  I didn't particularly like it when I was going through the difficult times and learning the lessons - but I am so, so grateful that I had those lessons "under my belt" to help me in the challenges of these recent years.  God knew I would need those lessons and graciously took me through the hard times to learn them.

None of us like going through hard times!!  We feel the pain and disappointment of our "failures."  We want God to "fix" the problem, not teach us lessons.  But we don't see how God is using those hard times to stretch us, teach us, and build new foundations in our lives.  All these years later I am so grateful that God prepared me for what Floyd and I have gone through in these recent years.

I've mentioned it before, but Paul Billheimer's book "Don't Waste Your Sorrows" is a profound teaching on this topic.  It's a Godly perspective on going through difficulties.  I highly recommend it.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.  "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8,9

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:12,13

I don't like failures - whether it's when I'm cooking or in leadership.  Failure is disappointing and hard.  But I'm grateful that God can take the failures, teach us lessons, and use it to bring success in the future.  He has done that time and time again for us. 

* "Failure, the Back Door to Success" is taken from George Verwer's book "Drops from a Leaking Tap."  

Finding a Way Around

In recent years with all we've faced and gone through, I have seen so many answers to prayer.  It has been very special and encouraging.  I'm grateful for each answer!

But there have been many things I've prayed for where I didn't see answers.  I trust God.  I trust His wisdom to know what's best.  But sometimes I've wondered about the unanswered prayers - the obstacles I asked God to remove.....but they didn't budge.  They remained bright as day - huge and unmoving.

At some point I came across this quote - "If God doesn't remove an obstacle, He'll help you find a way around it."  And that's what happened.  He helped me deal with the obstacles.  He showed me how to overcome the problem that they caused.  He led me in directions where the obstacle wasn't on the path.

I guess I still have questions that I wonder about, but I'll have all of eternity to ask the Lord about them.  The thing that is foremost in my mind is that God helped me deal with the obstacle even when it wasn't removed.  How awesome is that?!

"When they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away."  Mark 16:4 

"We triumph even in our troubles, knowing that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope - a hope which never disappoints us, since God's love floods our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us."  Romans 5:3,5

"Know Him in all your paths, and He will keep your ways straight."  Proverbs 3:6

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But He said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:8-10 

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  Philippians 4:6

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."  Exodus 14:14

I know there will continue to be obstacles on my journey, but I also know God will remove them or help me find a way around them.  That gives me such a sense of peace on the journey.  How faithful and good He is!

Through the years we have been blessed to work with some wonderful people - to be part of some inspiring groups - and live in interesting places.  One of the things we've learned is to "savor" each one of those.  You never know when things will change, people move on, or even God moving us on.

We lived in Holland for 18 years.  I thought we would continue living there for many, many years.  And suddenly! - everything changed and we were leaving.  We loved living there, loved the Dutch culture and people.  We felt very much at home and wanted to stay.  But God was leading a different way.  I'm so glad that we had "savored" every day there.  The years in Holland went with us in our hearts.

Our years in Kabul, Afghanistan were very different.  It was not an easy place to live!  So many challenges.  And yet, I loved living there and "savored" all the rich experiences.  We were there when the king was overthrown - an important moment in the history of the country.  We were there when the Christian church (for foreigners) was torn down - a sad and historic day.  The government had heard there was an "underground church."  So they tore the building down and dug deep into the ground looking for that church.  I have a piece of the marble floor of the church.  Every time I look at it, it reminds me to pray for that country that is going through such hard times - especially the women and children. 

If I counted right, we have lived in 13 different places, and worked with hundreds and hundreds of wonderful people.  Not everything was easy and smooth going, but, none the less, we savored each place, each relationship, each person.  I feel so blessed to have had the life we've had......"savoring" each minute.  I thank the Lord for how He's led us all our years.

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:4

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."  1 Peter 4:10

"A friend loves at all times."  Proverbs 17:17 

"God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, so that we might live through Him.  In this is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His son to be the expiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."  1 John 4:8-11

"Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Our greatest wealth is not measured in terms of riches but relationships.  We've never had a lot of money, but we are exceedingly rich in the gift of people in our lives. 

One Cold Day at a Time

My heart sends warm greetings, but outside we are having freezing cold, wet winter days.  Definitely not my favorite thing!  I find the winter weather really hard to bear and discouraging.  I think one reason it's so hard is that I'm dealing with pain from my recent treatment.  The cold weather seems to accentuate the pain.  I was talking to the Lord about it - telling him I didn't know if I could cope with all the winter days ahead.  He lovingly reminded me that I am supposed to take it one day at a time......not days, weeks, or months at a time.  I know that, of course, but in the midst of these cold days it was easy to forget and focus on all that's ahead.

My part is to simply ask the Lord for grace and strength for one cold day at a time.  If I try to cope with all the days ahead, I would probably collapse under the load of discouragement that the cold days bring.  It was a good reminder of an important principle.

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:34

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."  Psalm 62:1,2

"The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him."  Psalm 32:10

"The Lord is good.  A stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him."  Nahum 1:7 

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear."  Psalm 46:1

"How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."  Psalm 36:7

When I'm struggling with the cold or the pain, I find it helpful to speak out all the things Jesus is to me.  It's a helpful and powerful reminder!  He is so faithful.

Praise Turns Burdens Into Blessings

I read an article recently about a father who had lost his teenage daughter in an accident.  He walked through tremendous grief.  He said one of the things he learned was that in the "rubble of disaster, there were gemstones."  I love that.  I think I experienced the same thing.  In the midst of the grief and suffering of what was happening to Floyd, there were sweet gifts.  God was very present day by day.  He faithfully ministered grace, healing, and comfort.

I mentioned recently that Floyd and I were very young when we got married.  We quickly learned that we had unrealistic expectations of each other.....and because of that, we needed to talk things through as they arose.  We talked a lot!  The wonderful thing was that it laid a foundation of communication in our marriage.  When differences arose, we learned to quickly talk about them and work them out.  If we let them just sit - the differences grew and became harder to resolve.

I'm so grateful for that foundation.  It helped us learn and grow together over the years.  One day in the hospital, standing by Floyd's bed and telling him about something - it hit me.  There was nothing left unsaid between us.  We had worked through every difficulty, talked about every misunderstanding, and our hearts were clear towards each other.  Everything that needed to be said had been said.  Oh - I would have loved to hear him tell me one more time that he loved me.....but there was nothing I wished I'd said or done.  It was a special "gemstone" to realize that.  We hadn't planned it this way, but what a gift it was in that season.

It's also given me an awareness of other relationships - to work things through, talk things through.....and not let things sit.  We never know when there won't be another opportunity.

"...bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."  Colossians 3:13,14

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."  1 Peter 4:8

"Encourage one another and build one another up."  1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."  Luke 6:31

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

There are so many verses about relationships and speech.  God has sought to guide us, but we have to do the actual work.  We have to take the initiative to talk things through when needed.

I've actually thought of a number of "gemstones" during the 5+ years Floyd was in the hospital, but the one I shared above is so special to me.  No regrets.  Nothing left unsaid.  It brought such rest and peace to realize that.  Thank you, Lord, for that!

I had my post treatment check up with my doctor this week.  Early indications are that the treatment has been successful.  How encouraging that was to hear!  The treatment will keep working for quite some time, so my prayer is that it will continue to be successful.   

This month is special to me because it marks 9 years since I was diagnosed with cancer.  The outlook at that time is that "maybe" I would survive 2 years.  I'm so grateful that God was in charge of that "maybe."  He had other plans.  I'm so grateful that He carried me and helped me survive during the years Floyd was sick.  We could never have imagined that Floyd's illness and my cancer battle would both be raging at the same time.  I have thanked the Lord over and over that He helped me through those hard years.

I have no idea what's ahead - but I know I'm in good hands.  I know that God still has plans for me for every day that I'm still alive.  I love walking hand in hand with Him, day by day, for whatever He has in store for me.  I feel safe and secure knowing God is in control.  What a wonderful place to be!

I read about a lady who was bed-ridden for 16 years and only had use of one thumb.  With a fork and stick attached to that thumb, she learned to do many things - put on her glasses, feed herself, sip tea through a tube, turn the pages of her Bible, and other chores.  She told a friend she had so much to be thankful for.

Contentment to our life circumstances isn't learned in a few hours,  but if we're thankful for whatever blessings we have - we can have a rich life of thankfulness.  Praising God turns our burdens and trials into blessings.

I've gone through a lot these last years, but God has been with me and blessed me.  I'm so grateful for His faithfulness and help day by day.  He is so good! 

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints."  Ephesians 1:18

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground."  Psalm 143:10 

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  Psalm 143:8

"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love."  Lamentations 3:32

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63:8

In many cancer rooms/wards they have a bell that patients can ring when they are cancer free.  I've never rang that bell because I've not been "free" of my cancer.  But God has carried me "through" my cancer day by day.  In my mind I ring that bell and thank Him daily.  He has been so good to me. 

My Gentle Giant and My Wonderful Savior

This week had two very significant days for me.  It was the 2 year anniversary of Floyd's passing.  The missing him certainly doesn't go away, but the pain of grief is so much less.  Truly God brings healing and fresh grace to our wounded hearts.

I love special days.  And I love celebrating on those days.  In our busy life and with Floyd traveling a lot, that wasn't always possible.

But we tried.  Often we had to celebrate on an alternate day, but we always celebrated!  God loves celebrations.  You see that all through the Word.  He's a God of celebration!

So, even though I'm alone today without dear Floyd, I'm celebrating that we started our journey in marriage together 56 years ago today.  Oh my - we had no idea what was in store for us!!!

All this week so many memories have come flooding back about our beginning.  I want to share one of them with you.  I was 18 - Floyd was 21.  We were "young" in so many ways.  We did a lot of growing up and maturing together after we got married.  We were so idealistic, and out to conquer the world for Jesus!  Our plan was to leave 3 days after our wedding to lead teams in outreach in the Caribbean islands.  I have to admit that it wasn't the wisest plan - I wouldn't recommend it to other newly wed couples.  :)

As was so often the case through our years together, we were trusting the Lord for finances for that outreach....sometimes we were trusting  right up to the deadline of departure.  We were getting organized to leave when a dear lady turned up at the door.  She attended Floyd's dad's church, and knew we were leaving on a missions venture.  She walked in and handed us a shoebox.  She explained that she worked as a waitress and she put all her tips in that box.  It was mostly coins with a few dollar bills here and there.

She went on to explain how she had always wanted to be a missionary, but that wasn't how things had gone for her life.  She wanted to give us her shoebox of tips as an investment in the Kingdom for the outreach we were going on.  I can tell you that many tears flowed as she shared all this.  It was so humbling.  It was actually really hard to accept. 

Many times through the years as we've served the Lord in various ways, I've thought of that dear lady.  She has been part of everything we've done.  God treasured her investment, and someday she'll reap an eternal reward!!  It was a special beginning to our life together - something we never forgot!!  We often prayed for her to be rewarded in ways only God could do.

I hope this story blesses you.  It reminds me of the story in the Bible of the widow who gave two small copper coins.  Jesus told the disciples that she gave more than the rich, because it was all she had!  

I've been thinking recently how sometimes it's easier to trust God for the big things rather than the little things.  I'm not sure why that is.  Maybe it's because the big things are so much more noticeable.  The little things can sneak in without our being aware of them.

Recently I've been facing both - big and little things.  It caught me off guard, but, when I noticed it, I immediately heard the Lord speaking sweetly to my heart that He could handle both at the same time.  He is so awesome, capable, and faithful.  And He wants us to bring everything to Him - big things, and even tiny almost unnoticeable things.  I've been doing that, and have been receiving His grace for both.

I've also had some pretty rough days this week and I’m so grateful for His wonderful help and grace. 

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.  Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."  Psalm 63:1-5 

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze...Since you are precious in My sight...and I love you."  Isaiah 43:2-4

I'm without Floyd now, but I continue on the journey the Lord started us on on our wedding day.  I'm so grateful for the years we had together.

On good days and on hard days - I lift my voice and hands in praise to our wonderful God!!

Under His Wings

It’s been a while since I posted anything.  I have had a rough time of weakness and no energy during and after my radiation treatment.  I’m still recovering but grateful that I am beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm praying that that light keeps shining brightly!!

During these long days, there were 3 thoughts that stayed firmly and clearly in my heart and mind.  The first is "carrying."  I don't know how to describe it - but I was so aware that I was being carried by the Lord.  I could almost feel His presence, with me - knowing I was being carried.

"I have made you and I will carry you.  I will sustain you and I will rescue you."  Isaiah 46:4

The second thought was being sheltered by the wings of the Lord.  About 4 1/2 years ago I shared a photo of a momma bird sheltering her 2 young ones under her wings.  This picture came back into my mind one night in the hospital.  I vividly sensed the shelter of the Lord's wings!  I have used the photo again above.

"I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.  He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge, His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."  Psalm 91:2-4

The 3rd word was "peace."  In the midst of a lot of chaos, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.  A peace that nothing/no one can give but the Lord.  A peace that passes understanding.  A peace that closed off the world around me, and tucked me into those protective wings of love and care.

"The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Psalm 34:14

Again and again I've been encouraged by these words - been ministered to by God's love and care.  He is so faithful, and knows just what we need.

This coming week has two days that are special to me.  The first is Monday, May 29 - it marks 2 years from when Floyd went to be with Jesus.  It's a bittersweet day.  I'm so grateful that Floyd is no longer suffering, but I do continue to miss him - especially in times like my recent treatment.  I miss his love and support.  My family and friends were very supportive, but it's not the same as my dear gentle giant.

I’m so grateful that the Lord has been so faithful in bringing healing to my heart during these 2 years.  The grief isn't gone, but it's much "lighter" than it was in the beginning.  I know that's because of God's healing hand.

The second special day is Friday, June 2.  It would have been our 56th wedding anniversary.  The love in my heart for Floyd and for our special days didn't stop when he passed away.  If anything, these days are even more special to me.  I'm grateful for every year we had together - and my heart still celebrates as the years pass on by. 

"Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life.  Let your joy overflow!"  Philippians 4:4  TPT 

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."  Ecclesiastes 3:4

"This is the day which the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it."  Psalm 118:24

I'm grateful for these days coming up - joy and sadness mixed together......and God's goodness is the cherry on top!

The Rock of Ages

It's been a full week for me preparing for the radiation therapy I'll have in the coming weeks.  I’m at peace with the plans and I’m trusting for good results. 

As I’ve prepared there has been a quote that has resonated in my heart!  It’s from a new book called “Kissing the Waves” by Val Kadalie, a lovely Christian lady here in Cape Town.  She quotes Charles Spurgeon:    "I have learned to kiss the waves that struck me against the Rock of Ages."

Pretty much every day I thank the Lord for being my Rock.  I cling to that Rock in all that I go through.  I couldn't make it without Him.  The firm, sure Rock of the Lord Jesus has been my strength and security in every challenge I've faced.  When the waves of trial, sickness, and suffering have hit - I've held on for life to the Rock of Ages.

"I love you, Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my Rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my Rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved."  Psalm 18:1-3 

"He is the Rock, His work is perfect; for all His ways are justice, a God of truth and without injustice; righteous and upright is He." Deuteronomy 32:4

"The Lord is my Rock and my fortress and my deliverer."  2 Samuel 22:2

"The Lord lives!  Blessed be my Rock!  Let God be exalted, the Rock of my salvation."  2 Samuel 22:47 

"Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation.  He only is my Rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved."  Psalm 62:1,2

How grateful I am for the Lord Jesus, my Rock!

He Names the Stars

The complications that I’ve been having from my cancer have gotten worse.  After consulting with the team of doctors that care for me, we have decided on a course of radiology therapy.  Obviously that is daunting for me, but… 

One evening recently, I went outside to watch the International Space Station fly overhead.  It was quite amazing.  It moved so fast, but was visible for 6 minutes.  I also loved seeing all the stars - millions of them shining so brightly.  The planet Jupiter was incredibly bright and seemed so close.

As I observed all this, I felt the Lord comforting my heart that heaven is so close by - He is so close by!  It was a beautiful reassurance of God's presence and closeness.

"Praise Him, sun and moon;  Praise Him, all stars of light!  Praise Him, highest heavens."  Psalm 148:3,4

"Look up into the heavens.  Who created all the stars?  He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name."  Isaiah 40:26

"He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them.  Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite."  Psalm 147:4,5

The One who knows the stars by name also knows every detail of our lives.  He is with us and He is for us.  He is always working for good in the things we face.  He is with us each and every day.  He is so faithful!

Don't Give Anxiety a Minute!

This past week I experienced some difficult complications from the cancer I’m battling.  They came on suddenly, no warning, seemingly out of nowhere.  They were traumatic.  I've had them before, but it was still a shock when they hit my body.  Usually they are months apart.  This time I had 2 rounds of them just 3 days apart.  I was still trying to recover from the first round when the 2nd round hit.

All this has left me feeling anxious.  I don't know when I'll be "hit" again.  I've dealt with anxiety before in the last hard years, but this is anxiety at a new and deeper level.  I'm having to learn how to press deeper into the Lord, to cling to Him each time I feel anxious.

I've learned through the years that I will deal with something, learn from it and how to cope with it.  I then feel like I've "conquered" the lesson.....but it will come up again.  It's not that I've failed or haven't learned the lesson - it's just the Lord allowing me to learn it at a much deeper level.  I think that's what is happening now.  Fear, worry, and anxiety are not from the Lord!  Already I'm learning not to give the anxiety a minute's hold on my heart and mind.  I must take it immediately to the Lord to receive His peace and grace.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."  Psalm 34:4

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles."  Psalm 34:17

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."  Psalm 94:19 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6,7 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  2 Timothy 1:7

"Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7 

"Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:34 

These are a small sampling of dozens and dozens of verses about not being anxious.  When anxiety crops up in my heart and mind - I proclaim and pray these verses.  It helps me immediately.  I'm so grateful I don't have to walk alone through the trials of life.  The Lord has already provided promises and instruction for how to deal with them.

The Power of His Sacrifice

A blessed Easter weekend to you!  How grateful I am for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross - and how amazed I am at His awesome resurrection.  Sorrow and joy all rolled into 3 days.  We have much to be thankful for!

I’ve shared recently in my updates about enduring and persevering.  I was taken aback by the responses I received - from all over the world, young and old, male and female.  It broke my heart as I thought of so many going through trials and sufferings.  What probably impacted me the most was that quite a few people said they had felt like quitting.  I'm not even sure what that would mean to each one, but it touched me deeply. 

My encouragement to each one is - don't quit!  Instead press in more deeply to Jesus.  Keep your eyes on Him.  Let Him carry you and lift your burdens.  He has done that for me over and over and over again.  I wouldn't still be standing except for His grace, strength, help, mercy, and love.  He has carried me through the storms.  He has given me His strength when I've been so very weak.  He has comforted my heart when I've been overwhelmed with sorrow.  He has been by my side when I've been lonely.  He has provided when I've had times of need.  And the wonderful thing is that He'll do the same for you!!! 

I've realized that when I focus on the problems rather than on Him, the problems seem to be bigger.  When I focus on Him, the problems lessen.  I've had to learn to pour out my heart to Him, even when I'm low and weak.  He is my refuge.  I can turn to Him with whatever I am facing.  When I'm wrapped up in my need - whatever it may be - it takes an effort of my will to turn instead to look at Him......but as I do it over and over, it becomes instinctive.  I don't have to think about it - my heart just immediately turns to Him.  And He is always there. 

As we celebrate His death and resurrection this weekend, may each one of us feel the power of what He's done for us. There is victory because of what Jesus went through and endured for us.  I'm humbled every time I think about it.

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."  Ephesians 3:17,18 

"Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."  Isaiah 40:30 NASB

"A bruised reed He will NOT break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out." Isaiah 42:3

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalms 63:8

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."  Psalm 37:5

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go."  Genesis 28:15

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6,7

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

I find these scriptures - and sooo many more - to be "lifelines" that I hold on to when I'm going through a difficult time.  I speak them out as statements of faith and promise.  I pray them and ask the Lord to apply them to my situation.  He who has promised is faithful, and He will help each of us persevere and endure!!!

I was talking with a friend about how some had felt like quitting because of the hard times they were going through.  It reminded me of something that happened many years ago.  We were going through a stretching time in our ministry.  It was intense and very stressful.  One day I decided I was going to leave.  I went to the closet and got my suitcase out.  Then I stood and looked at it, and realized I had nowhere to go......and no money to get me anywhere.  I started laughing at the foolishness of it.  I laughed and laughed so hard.....until I felt better, and then put my suitcase back in the closet.  That deep laughter relieved the stress build up.  I thanked the Lord for it. 

As I thought about this, I thought of how Jesus many times "withdrew from the crowds" to spend time with the Father.  He wasn't quitting.  He was just strengthening Himself in the Lord to keep going.  He knew He needed some peace and quiet.  He needed to pour out His heart to the Father.  He needed fresh strength and grace to continue. 

This reminded me of another time in my life.  We were in Kabul, Afghanistan leading a community of hippies - many new Christians, and others who were on their way to meeting Jesus.  It was a 24/7 type of "job."  Our little daughter was a few weeks old.  I was feeling overwhelmed by everything, and just needed some peace and quiet.  I asked a friend, a fellow missionary, if I could spend the day at her house.  I bundled up my little baby, took my Bible, and a notepad to write down my thoughts - and off we went.

Miraculously, my little one slept most of the day - absolutely unheard of.  She was usually wide awake ready to see the world around her.  As she slept, I poured out my heart to the Lord - my tiredness, my feeling like I just couldn't do everything, my concerns about bringing up our little one in such an unusual environment - the list was long.  It was one of two times in my life where I've felt like the Lord "dictated" answers to me - and poured His soothing balm over my weary heart.  I went home that evening with a carefree heart.  Every burden had been lifted from my heart, and fresh strength and grace had been ministered into my body and spirit.

Perhaps when we're overwhelmed and feel like quitting - what we need is to just get away and pour out our hearts to the Lord.  Maybe to a quiet park or beach - or like me, to a friend's peaceful house.  Like Jesus, we need to "withdraw from the crowds" and let the Father minister His peace.  The Bible says Jesus understands everything we go through because He went through the same things.  He understands when we feel overwhelmed and burdened.  He showed us how to handle that!

"Jesus understands every weakness of ours, because He was tempted in every way that we are.  But He did not sin!  So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God.  There we will be treated with undeserved grace, and we will find help.  Hebrews 4:15,16  CEV

"Jesus often withdrew to lonely place and prayed."  Luke 5:16

"After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray."  Matthew 14:23

"After bidding them farewell, He left for the mountain to pray."  Mark 6:46 

"Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray."  Luke 5:16

Jesus withdrew to prepare for what was ahead. (Forty days in the wilderness to prepare for His public ministry.)  He spent time alone to deal with grief.  (After John the Baptist was beheaded.)  He went away to recover from exhaustion after giving out to the crowds of people.  He spent time with the Father when facing a big decision. (Before choosing His 12 disciples.)  When facing distress and hard times, He withdrew. (Right before He was arrested, He spent time in prayer receiving strength for what was ahead.)  He spent time alone in prayer many times during ministering to the crowds.  He understood the need for solitude and time alone with His Father.

We have His wonderful example to follow when we get overwhelmed with the cares of life.  We don't need to quit - we just need to withdraw and spend time with Him.

Trust Him With the Whys

I imagine that most of us have at some time asked the "why?" question.  Why haven't I been healed?  Why was my prayer not answered?  Jesus himself asked the Father "why have you forsaken me?"  I asked the "why" question several times while Floyd was sick.  The answer I got every time was to trust Him - that Floyd was not forgotten.  That He had a plan.  Someday I'll fully understand that plan.

I love "The Chosen" series.  I'm just watching all three seasons over again.  They minister to me each time.  There is a scene in Season 3, Episode 2 entitled "Two by Two."  Jesus has just told the disciples that He is sending them out in pairs to preach the Gospel and do signs and wonders.  It is a surprise to them, and they are processing what it means.

Little James goes to ask Jesus a question.  He wonders how he can heal others when he himself hasn't been healed - and he asks Jesus why He hasn't healed him.  It's a poignant scene - and one that spoke directly to me!

Jesus explains that He hasn't healed him because He trusts him.  God has a plan for him, but it's a bit of a mystery.  God will use him "in spite" of not being healed.  And He asks Little James to, in turn, trust Him.

I so identify with that conversation!  I pray for healing - but I also tell the Lord I trust Him.  I know that "His ways are higher than my ways."  I know that He gives me daily strength and grace in spite of not being healed.  I read this quote - "One day you'll see why God made you wait."  That day may not be until heaven, but someday we'll understand all the "whys."

Jesus makes it clear that He uses us whether we're healed and get our answers or not.  He has a plan!  I trust His plan.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid."  Psalm 56:3,4

"The Lord is my strength and my shield.  My heart trusts Him."  Psalm 28:7

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs3:5,6

"He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord."  Psalm 112:7

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act."  Psalm 37:5

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."  Psalm 62:8

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."  Psalm 20:7

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.  Trust in the Lord, forever, for the Lord, the Lord Himself, is the ROCK eternal."  Isaiah 26:3,4

I'm so grateful that I can "pour out my heart" to Him.  He is my Refuge, my Rock!  I speak that out to Him pretty much daily.  I give my "why" questions to Him and trust Him because He is completely trustworthy.  And I'm grateful that He trusts me.

Last year a UK publisher reissued Floyd's book - "The Father Heart of God."  It's only the UK edition, not the US.  I love to read and have a continual stack of books that I'm working my way through.  The stack never gets finished as I keep adding to it.  I'm a bit old fashioned - I don't like reading online.  I like holding the book in my hands. :)

I just finished a book and was looking at what I'd read next - when my eye caught the new "Father Heart" book.  Floyd wrote the book long ago in 1985 - 38 years ago.  I'm amazed and grateful that it is still selling and ministering to people.

As I've read the book, I've been so blessed.   It's "fresh" - could have been written a few months ago rather than all those years ago.  God must certainly have had His hand on Floyd in writing it.  My heart has been captured afresh by the Father's love.  Page after page feels like it's speaking right to me.  I wish I could tell Floyd how much I'm loving reading it.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him."  Psalm 103:13

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are."  1 John 3:1

"Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!"  Matthew 7:11,12

" 'And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me,' says the Lord Almighty."  2 Corinthians 6:18

"We love, because He first loved us."  1 John 4:19

"For God loved the world in this way:  He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16

I have truly fallen in love with the Father all over again - and received His love for me in fresh ways.  I'm so grateful for Floyd's book!

Our Lifeguard Walks on Water

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with those who have suffered in the Turkey/Syria earthquake.  I can't begin to imagine the horror of it all.  Some stories have begun to come out, however, that are very encouraging.  Both  journalists and aid workers have said that many of those rescued reported having a "man in white" come to them with food and water.  Some said that he lifted the concrete off of them to protect them.  I worshipped and thanked the Lord when I read these reports. 

It made me think of all the instances when I knew the Lord was with me during these recent difficult years - especially when Floyd was in the hospital.  I never saw a "man in white," but I felt the Lord's presence with me time and time again.  There were a couple times when I felt His loving arms around me - supporting me, caring for me, strengthening me.  I couldn't have made it on my own.

I'll never forget the day early on when Floyd was in ICU and was going to have surgery.  The doctor said he probably wouldn't survive the surgery, but without it he would surely die.  I told the surgeon I was praying for a miracle.  Hours later - much longer than the surgery was supposed to be - the surgeon came out and told our family.  "You might have had your miracle!  When we went in to operate, the things that had been viewed on the scan and MRI were no longer there.  There was nothing for us to do."  They called in the radiologist and asked him if he could explain what had happened.  They thought he had messed up in taking the scans. 

That was just one of so many experiences of seeing God's hand at work.  On days when I'm asking for fresh answers to prayer, I find it helpful to remember what He's done in the past.  Hearing of the "man in white" from the earthquake rescues is also a wonderful reminder than God is with us in our difficulties and intervenes in impossible ways.  We're never alone!

"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job.  Instead, be glad that you are in the thick of what Christ experienced.  This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner."  1 Peter 4:12,13  The Message

Honestly, I have a hard time thinking of how my suffering relates to the suffering that Christ endured.  But I do know that I have a choice of how to go through my suffering - moaning, groaning and complaining......or keeping my eyes on Him and worshipping Him.  My choice makes all the difference! 

"What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?"  Romans 8:31

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63:8 

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8 

"We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed."  2 Corinthians 4:7-9

Not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed.  Yes, we go through hard times - trials, sickness, weakness, suffering.....but it's not a defeat.  God is always, always, always with us to help us through those times.  It's good to call to mind how He's helped us in the past!!

The last few days the words enduring and perseverance have been in my thoughts almost constantly.  I looked up their definitions.  Enduring is to last over a long period of time.  Perseverance is to continue in spite of difficulty or delay.  I guess I can relate to both!!  It's easy in a time of prayer or worship to commit to persevering - but the day-to-day reality of it is something very different. 

I'm coming up to 9 years of battling cancer.  And 20 months after I began that journey, Floyd was struck down and began his long silent journey.  I remember standing by his bed in ICU on day 3 praying with him just before the doctor was going to do a procedure to slow his heart that was beating much too fast.  We committed our lives and the future into God's hands.

The doctor told me that the treatment might affect Floyd in an unusual way for some hours.  He was right!  Floyd started talking about things that made no sense.  April, a dear ICU nurse, was with me at Floyd's bed while he explained that our 50th wedding anniversary was the next year.  To celebrate, we were going on a round-the-world trip to 50 countries!  That sounded like an absolute nightmare to me, but Floyd was very excited and continued to talk about it.  That was my last conversation with him.  I guess he was a visionary as long as he had a voice to speak.

A few hours later his heart stopped.  He was then in a coma - and then silent, never to speak again.  I then began a journey of enduring, persevering......through each day, sometimes through just the next hour.  It was intense as his organs began to shut down, and various things attacked his body.  I remember reading this quote - "When you feel like you're drowning in life, don't worry.  Your lifeguard walks on water."  I clung to that lifeguard minute by minute.  And have continued to do so as I cared for Floyd and continued my cancer battle.  There were definitely moments when I felt like I was drowning, but Jesus held my hand and kept me afloat.

I've never been a quitter.  When I start something, I always want to finish it - be it something big or small.  But enduring and persevering through these last years has seemed impossible at times.  But God!!  His Word has strengthened and encouraged me time and time again!  Oh how precious is the Word of God!

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him."  James 1:12

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12

"We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."  Romans 3:3-5

"Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus."  Hebrews 12:1,2

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James1:2-4 

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised."  Hebrews 10:36

"If we endure, we will also reign with Him."  2 Timothy 2:12

"We count as blessed those who have persevered.  You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.  The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."  James 5:11 

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:9

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I said to myself, 'the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' "  Lamentations 3:22-24

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.  Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways."  Proverbs 4:25,26 

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."  Isaiah 46:4

I've shared lots of scriptures because these are ones that have helped me endure and persevere.  There are many others!  There is strength to be found in reading His word - clinging to it - as we walk through a difficult time.  His word and His presence with us, holding our right hand, will get us through!

I read somewhere - "Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other."  I have faced countless short races, and I continue to do so.  God's grace, strength, love, wisdom, and help has gotten me through.  He has helped me to endure and persevere - and He will help you too!!!

Counting My Blessings

When we go through a difficult time (of which I've had quite a few in recent years), it's easy to become discouraged - even despairing.  The trials feel heavy, and we may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  The hard time, the suffering, the weights of what we're experiencing can be utterly overwhelming.

One important lesson I've learned is that I can choose victory - even while I'm crying out to the Lord for it.  I may not feel it.  The situation may not have changed.   The weights are still there.  But I can declare victory in Jesus name.  When I do that, something is released in me that gives me extra grace to walk through the trial.  And the Lord's strength and help begins to flow.  He has been so faithful to help me, to bring victory to me time and time again in the hard times.  I couldn't have made it otherwise.

"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?"  Hebrews 13:6

"You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great."  Psalm 18:35

"Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8

I am so grateful for how the Lord has been with me through each trial, each difficult thing.  I truly don't know how people make it without the Lord.  I'm glad I don't have to try that.  He is right by my side each day.

I had one day in particular that was difficult this week.  Thankfully it wasn't to do with my physical health!!  It had to do with something I was trying to get done that was challenging.  In the midst of it as I was asking the Lord to help me, He reminded me of two things.

The first was to "count my blessings."  When I took a few minutes to do that, it was amazing how my whole outlook shifted from the problem to all the good things in my day, in my life.  It brought perspective!  From big things to little things, I saw all the wonderful blessings in my life!!

The second thing was a reminder that "laughter is the best medicine."  Smiling, laughing brings joy and helps lift the burdens we are carrying.  I recently came across a video that makes me laugh every time I watch it.  In the video a little baby girl interacts with her father in tearing up their electricity bill - while she giggles continually.  I don't think anyone can watch it without at least smiling, and probably laughing.  I love it!  Something so simple - but so full of joy.  I share the link below.

So, needless to say, after counting my blessings and laughing.....the burden of what I was dealing with was much lighter!  I still had to plow my way through it, but it wasn't as overwhelming.  I love how God reminded me of these truths. 

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."  Zephaniah 13:5,6

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall."  Psalm 18:29

"Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things He does for me."  Psalm 103:2 NLT

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

I LOVE that last verse.  It covers it all.  When we think on those things, it puts anything else into the right perspective.  I have so very much to be thankful for!!!

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Don't Forget the Blessings

Last week I was feeling overwhelmed by some tasks I needed to accomplish.  With my limited strength, I never seem to get as much done as I'd like.  I was talking to the Lord about it and He reminded me of a story that encouraged me.

A little boy with a small shovel was trying to clear some deep snow in front of his house.  A man came by and asked how a little boy with such a small shovel could accomplish such as big task.  The little boy replied with great confidence, "Little by little."  And he kept working.

The Lord spoke that word to my heart.  He'll help me "little by little."  I just need to keep working and keep trusting in the Lord's help.  It's a simple word - and an obvious one in many ways - but it was just what I needed.

"Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased, and you inherit the land."  Exodus 23:30

I can imagine how the Israelites felt.  They were in their promised land, but they faced many challenges - many enemies they needed to conquer, many things they needed to do.  God gave them the same encouragement and direction that He gave me - "little by little." 

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."  Hebrews 4:16

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."  Psalm 37:5 

"With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."  Mark 10:27

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.....do not be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27

Little by little with His grace, strength, and peace - we can make it through anything! 

This week I've had a good week.  What joy it brings me to say that!!!  I'm feeling good, and my strength is steadily returning.  I've even been able to do one of the tasks on my list - little by little, until it was done.  That brings me joy too!  I'm sure all this is an answer to prayer and I’m so grateful!

A friend of mine told me something special that she did.  She has a friend who is battling stage 4 cancer.  I'm sure it's been hard for her.  To encourage her, my friend printed and cut out over a month's worth of encouraging scriptures - ones that I've shared in the updates.  She put them all in a "blessings" jar.  Her friend can pull out one each day to be reminded of God's goodness, faithfulness, and love for her.  I loved that idea!

In the midst of difficulty, it's easy to see the hard things - but we sometimes forget the blessings that God has for us.  During Floyd's illness, I kept a file of songs, scriptures, and thoughts that encouraged me.  I would go to that file often and let the Lord minister those things to me.  I guess it was my "blessings file."  It was such a help to me.

God is with us each step of the way when we go through trials, sickness, and hard times.  I'm so grateful I'm not alone.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.' "  Isaiah 41:13

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears."  Psalm 34:4 

"How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."  Psalm 36:7 

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope."  Psalm 130:5

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27 

In the midst of a hard time, the enemy wants us to focus on the difficulty.  He wants us to be weighed down and discouraged.  But the Lord wants us to keep our eyes on Him, and feast on the promises in His word.  When we do that, He will bear our burdens and bring encouragement to our hearts.  He protects us from falling into the despair that the enemy has for us.  I am so, so grateful for the Lord's loving care in each trial I've walked through the last 9 years.  How good God is!  A loving, faithful Father!

His Presence in the Tunnel

Last week I was at the hospital having a test done.  Because of our load shedding (loss of electricity), everything took longer than normal.  I ended up being at the hospital much longer than anticipated.  I thought I had prepared safety wise - wearing a mask and sanitizing my hands often......but I managed to pick up a "bug."  I woke up horribly ill last Friday morning.  It hit like a bolt of lightening.

While I was sick, I was reminded of a quote from Corrie ten Boom.  "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off.  You sit still and trust the engineer."

The unexpected sickness felt like going through a dark tunnel - BUT I sensed the Lord's presence all around me.  He is so faithful!

"Here's what I've learned through it all:  Don't give up; don't be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord.  Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope.  Yes, keep on waiting - for He will never disappoint you."  Psalm 27:14 TPT

I can't believe we're already in the 3rd month of this new year.  The days are flying by.  It seems like every day there is a new need, a new crisis, a new disaster.  You think there can't be any more tragedies - and then a new one comes.

The Lord has been reminding me of how important it is to keep my eyes on Him.  If I look around me or look around the world at all that is happening, I can easily get overwhelmed and discouraged.  My heart breaks for the suffering in Ukraine......and for the earthquake victims in Turkey and Syria. There has been great suffering in southeast Africa from a cyclone that hit.  Every direction you look around the world, there is suffering.

And there is suffering for many of us in our individual lives - loss of a loved one, financial worries, sickness.  We absolutely have to keep our focus on the Lord.  He doesn't intend for us to carry the burdens.  Recently some things happened that were unsettling to me.  They were distracting me.  I realized I was losing the peace that the Lord has so graciously given me through the years of cancer and Floyd's illness.

I had to give those unsettling things to the Lord.  In a world of so much uncertainty and suffering, I must constantly keep looking to Jesus.  As I gave each thing to Him, my peace returned.  What a sweet gift it is!

Corrie ten Boom said:  "If you look at the world, you'll be distressed.  If you look within, you'll be depressed.  But if you look at Christ, you'll be at rest."  Amen!!

Adversities in life will always be with us - but God is also with us, and He is greater than any adversity we face.  This little guideline is a good one to keep in mind…

Trust in His timing.

Rely on His promises.

Wait for His answers.

Believe in His miracles.

Rejoice in His goodness.

Relax in His presence. 

"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus."  Hebrews 12:1,2

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  Matthew 11:28,29

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

That blessed peace that only He can give.  How grateful I am for that!

Opportunities for Grace

I'm always amazed at all the different ways God speaks to me.....from so many sources.....in unusual and creative ways.  I was reading a book last week, a novel, and out of nowhere in the story plot came something so powerful.  I have been thinking about it for days.  In the story a woman is going through a nightmare experience.  A young priest comes to counsel her.

"We're all given terrible trials sometimes, things that we think will break our spirit and kill us, and they make us stronger in the end.  They seem like the cruelest blows, but in a funny way they're like compliments from God.  I know that must sound crazy to you, but that's what they are.  If He didn't love you and believe in you, He wouldn't give you challenges like this.  They're opportunities for grace.  You'll be stronger from this.  I know it.  This is God's way of telling you that He loves you and believes in you.  It's a compliment from Him to you."  *** (quoted from "Ransom" by Danielle Steel)

Most likely you, like me, and like the woman in the book would say "no thank you."  I really don't need or want a compliment like that!  And yet, there's so much truth there.  In essence the young priest is saying that God trusts us when we go through these hard times.  With His help and grace, He knows we'll make it through - and we'll learn and grow through the experience.

I couldn't have made it through the last 8 1/2 years without God's goodness, faithfulness, and grace.  I haven't always liked what I've gone through, but I've seen God at work in amazing ways in the midst of the difficulty.  There have been many "opportunities for grace."  And His grace has been sufficient.

I don't particularly like the season I'm going through right now, but I'm trying to receive His grace and learn the lessons He has for me.  I'm very aware that He is walking with me, holding my right hand, and guiding me.  And I'm watching for ways, even unusual ones, that He wants to speak to me.

"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me."  Luke 9:23

"For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ."  2 Corinthians 1:5

"That I may know Him...and the fellowship of His sufferings."  Philippians 3:10

"Rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."  1 Peter 4:13

"Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."  2 Corinthians 4:17

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him."  James 1:12

I trust God to help me through whatever "compliment" He wants to bring into my life

I'm sure that most of you, perhaps all, have been hearing about the revival that is taking place at Asbury University in Kentucky.  It is a wonderful spiritual awakening that is being led by the Spirit - no one person, no group - just God moving in hearts and lives.

I have been listening to testimonies of some of the students.  It's awesome to hear how God is touching lives, bringing repentance, ministering healing, giving vision and direction.....each story is different, but it's all pointing to Jesus.  It's all directed in worship.

This wasn't planned.  It broke out spontaneously.  And it's spreading to other campuses.  I'm praying that it will spread out of the schools and into churches, neighborhoods, businesses - truly come like a wave across the nation.  And across Europe, across Africa, across Asia.  May this continue and spread.  More Lord!!  My heart is hungry for a move of His Spirit. 

I suggest we join in prayer with what is happening - asking the Lord to help it grow and spread.  We may not be there, but we can join our hearts with how God is moving.  He can pour out His Spirit right where we are.

"Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?"  Psalm 85:6

"Then we will not turn away from you; revive us, and we will call on your name."  Psalm 80:18

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."  2 Chronicles 7:14

Our world is a mess.  The earth itself is groaning with all the unusual weather events.  We need God to break in.  We need revival.  We need a move of His Spirit.  I may be old, but I'm joining my heart with what He's doing among the students.  I'm excited to see what God is going to do.

At Rest in Him

Last Friday I wrote about worry.  Well, I'm certainly getting a fresh opportunity to respond the right way in a worrying situation!  After a consult with my oncologist this week, my mind and emotions were bombarded with anxiety.  I sat down and tried to separate every anxious thought and bring it to the Lord.  I tried to push the anxiety to the side and concentrate on God's goodness and faithfulness.  I spoke out that He is my refuge!  He is always with me and He holds my right hand.

I admit that this was somewhat of a battle.  Worry/anxiety kept poking its head up.  I would come to a place of peace and then before long I needed to claim that peace all over again.  I find it helpful when a worry pops up to immediately speak out a promise to counteract the worry from the Word.  And to keep speaking it out until I feel it's "solid" in my heart.

I have some challenges in the days ahead, so I'm going to need to keep standing on His promises! 

"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory....But as for me, it is good to be near God.  I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."  Psalm 73:23, 24, 28

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."  Deuteronomy 33:27

"Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' " Matthew 19:26

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are."  Hebrews 4:15

I love that last verse.  Jesus understands!!!  When I cry out to Him about what I'm going through, I can just picture Him saying - "It's okay.  I understand.  I'll help you through this.  You're not alone."  What comfort and strength that gives me. 

I continued all through the week to take my anxieties to the Lord - over and over.  As I went to bed one night, I gave the burden of them to the Lord again.

I had a wonderfully, deep night of sleep.  Sleep is so healing and restorative.  When I woke the next morning, the burden was gone!!  Completely!  No anxiety.  I felt encapsulated in peace.  The contrast to the previous day was like night and day.  It was incredible!  I'm so grateful for God taking that burden from my heart, and washing over me with His spirit of peace.

Also as I walked through the week, I was reminded by the Lord of how important it is to "rest in Him."  That can be a lot easier said than done, but it is possible.  I kept speaking out my love, my faith, my confidence, my hope, my trust in the Lord.  The more I spoke it out - the stronger it became in my heart and in my emotions.  I could take a deep breath and rest in His loving arms.  I knew He was carrying me.  On hard days, I missed Floyd not being here to help me......but the Lord reminded me that He's my husband in Floyd's absence.  That's a powerful thought, and I sensed the Lord meeting me in special ways.  I experienced a deep "rest."

"Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young, He spread His wings and caught them, He carried them on His pinions."  Deuteronomy 32:11

"Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

"How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."  Psalm 36:7

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."  Psalm 62:8

I poured out my heart to Him - over and over this week.  He met me!  He has been my refuge.  He is so good, so faithful, so present when we need Him.  I feel "at rest" in Him.

Worry is a Powerful Thing

I've been feeling "poorly" (as we used to say when I was growing up in Texas).  I've been too weak to get much of anything done.  And then I tend to worry about all the things I'm not getting done.

Worry is a powerful thing.  We tend to worry about the next week, the next month, even the next year.  God wants us to focus on just one day at a time.  Worry means we're carrying a burden God never intended for us to bear.  We're to cast our burdens onto His big shoulders.

I am trying my best to do that.  Some days I succeed.  Some days I don't.  Being weak actually helps as I don't have the energy to worry. 

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:34

In the midst of being weak, feeling poorly, I've sensed the Lord's presence with me.  I'm so thankful that in the midst of the hard times, He doesn't disappear.  In fact, if anything, He makes His presence more clear and obvious because He wants us to know we're not alone.  That means so much to me!  I'm so grateful for His faithfulness.

The Gift of Laughter

The Bible talks about times to celebrate.  Jesus Himself took time to celebrate.  Celebration is part of our Christian walk.  So I take great joy in thinking about a particular celebration taking place this year.  It's the 50 year anniversary of YWAM Holland/the Netherlands.  50 years ago it all began!

I remember well arriving from Afghanistan to live on the two house boats called The Ark with a toddler in hand and a baby on the way.  The rocking of the boats made me nauseous in my pregnancy, and I was afraid our toddler would fall in the canal.  I wondered what in the world we had gotten ourselves into! 

YWAM had purchased the houseboats for an outreach previous to our arrival.  We were asked to come and help establish a permanent outreach to the hippies, drug addicts, and young people in the city.  It seemed like a great idea when we prayed about it in Afghanistan, but the reality of what we were facing made me wonder if we had truly heard from the Lord!

I prayed and told the Lord something had to change - He had to help me.  He did!  From that day on all my nausea disappeared......and our toddler daughter never fell into the canal.  Our puppy that we had gotten for her made it into the canal twice, but we were able to rescue him.  We spent the next 18 years in Holland.  There were many challenges and many answers to prayer.  God was so good and so faithful!

Now, 50 years later, YWAM has many ministries throughout Amsterdam and the country.  Many prayers have been answered.  Many miracles have taken place.  And it's time to celebrate God's goodness and faithfulness.  Anyone and everyone is invited to help celebrate.  There will be special things happening throughout the year, but the main celebration for an alumni week will be May 15-19.  I will put the link to register at the bottom of this post.

"Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms." Psalm 95:2

"The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad." Psalm 126:3

"Now this day will be a memorial to you, and you shall celebrate it as a feast to the Lord." Exodus 12:14

I can't believe that we're at the end of the first month of this new year.  The days are flying by!  One of the things I've been thinking about is with the new year come new beginnings.  I get excited about that!

I've been reminded of something recently.  I firmly believe that laughter is a potent medicine!  The last few weeks as I battled a tummy bug and the after effects of severe weakness - I haven't been very happy.  I certainly haven't been laughing, or even smiling.  I've been sad, I guess, because I've felt so awful.

When I was reminded of the "medicinal" effects of laughter, I made a conscious effort to smile and laugh.  It truly helped!  I'm still struggling with weakness, but the heaviness of it all has lifted.  It's a new beginning of joy for me!!  

I've known this principle so well, and seen it in action - but had forgotten. Many years ago our daughter was very sick for over 6 years.  We thought of the truth of laughter being a good medicine.  We looked for funny movies to watch and light-hearted, fun books to read.  It was amazing how much it helped.

Laughter has good physical effects too.  It reduces stress.  It increases the good cholesterol.  It decreases inflammation in our arteries, and it reduces anxiety.  Laughter helps fight viruses and bacteria.  It boosts the immune system.  There are whole lists of how it helps us physically.

If you know someone who's sick - send them a fun card, a joke, or a humorous story.  Hopefully it will bring a smile to help them.  :) 

"He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."  Job 8:21

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."  Proverbs 17:22

"Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.' "  Psalm 126:2

"All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast."  Proverbs 15:15

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh."  Ecclesiastes 3:4

Laughter brings joy.  Joy opens the door to worship.  And worship always ministers to our hearts and our bodies.  Laughter is a gift from the Lord.  Have a good laugh today - enjoy some guilt-free goodness from the Lord!

For details about YWAM celebrations click here

The Power of Encouragement

This past week I have been sick and it has made me very weak and lacking in energy. While I've been resting and recovering, I received several messages of encouragement.  They meant so much to me, and ministered to my heart.  It reminded me of how important encouragement is.  I've always tried to be an encourager because I've seen how powerful it is.  It doesn't need to be fancy - just a few simple words of love and encouragement!

Thinking about all this, I had an idea.  What if everyone reading this chose someone in their "circle" and sent them a message of love and encouragement?!  How powerful that would be!  Many people would be blessed and ministered to like I was.  Shall we do that?  I'll started it off right before I posted this!

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up."  1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."  Ephesians 4:29

"Therefore comfort one another with these words."  1 Thessalonians 4:18

"Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds...encouraging one another."  Hebrews 10:24, 25

"May God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other."  Romans 15:5 

"Encourage one another daily."  Hebrews 3:13 

And the strangely wonderful thing about encouraging others is that we are blessed too!!  Let's start a tsunami wave of encouragement!

The person I sent a message to reminded me of something.  Encouragement produces hope, and we need hope to survive.  "Without hope the people perish."  When we're going through a hard time - physically, emotionally, financially, in any way - it's easy to lose hope.  The thing we're dealing with may seem endless and hopeless.

But encouragement releases fresh hope!  Let's keep the wave of encouragement going.....like the waves of the sea.....unending!

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off."  Proverbs 23:18

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13

"Hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."  Romans 5:5

Hope is a gift straight from the heart of God!  It endures when we go through hard times.  It never dies, even though it may seem dim during those hard times.  When I'm weak physically, I've learned that I need to ask God to rekindle hope in my heart for better days.  And the encouragement we receive from one another helps to release that hope!

Our God is so good and faithful!  He is our ultimate encourager, and He protects the hope in our hearts from dying.